OT New Random Thread Pt. 3

[Pip22]

I'm practically a wedding etiquette expert at this point. You have no obligation to send a gift if you can't make it to the shower. If you want to send one, cool, if not, there's absolutely nothing wrong with not sending one.

Has there been overlap in the guest list between her showers? Multiple showers seems a bit extreme... (ETA replied before reading the rest of the comments)



There are two definitions for Jack and Jills. One is just a couple's shower. The other is more or less a fundraiser for your wedding. You sell tickets to some party, offer cheap beer, have raffles. They're popular in central and western Massachusetts, and some other places as well. They're also really bad etiquette because having a fundraiser for your wedding is rude.

Most brides have a bridal shower though - a party where a bunch of women get together and shower the bride with gifts for her new life together. Usually there's lunch or snacks - it's often a mid afternoon event - and advice for the bride. If you go to the shower, you usually buy a gift for that and the wedding. Though you don't *have* to buy a gift at the wedding if you got one for the shower ( you never *have* to give a gift for anything though).

Ahhh, I see. Yes, fundraising for your wedding is a little tacky, lol. We have Bridal Showers here but they aren't as popular as Hen Parties, probably because they're an excuse to go to a different city and get, ahem, merry.

 

[Hodiestoe]

Having gone through my 20s and a good chunk of my 30s, I am praising the Lord that multiple showers haven't caught on over here. The only pre wedding party I've ever been to, and there's been lots of weddings in the past 15+ years, has been hen dos. There you just meet up for dinner/drinks/debauchery, no gifts required. Although I have been to a couple of hen dos that have been at expensive spas or resorts and I did b!tch about the cost of that!!!


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[Ems]

@Ashley so I have a question about wedding etiquette. My mom and I were invited to a bridal shower of a family friend's sons fiancée (if that makes sense.) We don't know the son and we really don't know the fiancée. Like we haven't even had a conversation with neither the bride nor groom. Ever. Luckily, we can't go because we're having family visiting that weekend. But my question is, is it normal to put where you're registered for gifts on the bridal shower invitation, because that's what they did?? My mom thought it was tacky and not something you put on any invitation, much less the invitation for a bridal shower. I don't know, but I'm curious.

 

[Twinklestars]

@Ashley so I have a question about wedding etiquette. My mom and I were invited to a bridal shower of a family friend's sons fiancée (if that makes sense.) We don't know the son and we really don't know the fiancée. Like we haven't even had a conversation with neither the bride nor groom. Ever. Luckily, we can't go because we're having family visiting that weekend. But my question is, is it normal to put where you're registered for gifts on the bridal shower invitation, because that's what they did?? My mom thought it was tacky and not something you put on any invitation, much less the invitation for a bridal shower. I don't know, but I'm curious.

I vote tacky and inappropriate!

 

[Ems]

I vote tacky and inappropriate!

We're still baffled why we got the invitation! Like we really do not know the couple at all. We feel like we were invited for a gift because it's not like we talk much with the grooms mother (our only connection to the couple) much either. We've just known her for years. It's a weird situation and I'm glad we can't go!

 

[NJ Coach]

@Ashley so I have a question about wedding etiquette. My mom and I were invited to a bridal shower of a family friend's sons fiancée (if that makes sense.) We don't know the son and we really don't know the fiancée. Like we haven't even had a conversation with neither the bride nor groom. Ever. Luckily, we can't go because we're having family visiting that weekend. But my question is, is it normal to put where you're registered for gifts on the bridal shower invitation, because that's what they did?? My mom thought it was tacky and not something you put on any invitation, much less the invitation for a bridal shower. I don't know, but I'm curious.

I've always received with the invitation, where the couple is registered. I wouldn't even think twice about it.

We're still baffled why we got the invitation! Like we really do not know the couple at all. We feel like we were invited for a gift because it's not like we talk much with the grooms mother (our only connection to the couple) much either. We've just known her for years. It's a weird situation and I'm glad we can't go!

Generally, if you are being invited to the wedding, you will be invited to the shower. So maybe that's why they sent you the invite.

 

[Ashley]

@Ashley so I have a question about wedding etiquette. My mom and I were invited to a bridal shower of a family friend's sons fiancée (if that makes sense.) We don't know the son and we really don't know the fiancée. Like we haven't even had a conversation with neither the bride nor groom. Ever. Luckily, we can't go because we're having family visiting that weekend. But my question is, is it normal to put where you're registered for gifts on the bridal shower invitation, because that's what they did?? My mom thought it was tacky and not something you put on any invitation, much less the invitation for a bridal shower. I don't know, but I'm curious.

It's standard on a shower invitation because pretty much the whole point of a shower is to give gifts. It's also acceptable because you don't throw a shower for yourself, someone throws it on your behalf so it's not like you're sending out an invite and asking for gifts for yourself.

It doesn't go on the wedding invitation though.

 

[cheerKT]

I have known people to do honeymoon fundraising for their second weddings. When they both already have all the necessary kitchen/housing items. They do that in leiu of registering somewhere. There's some site now where you can "register" for excursions, dinners, gift cards, etc. for their trip. Like a bottle of champage is x dollars, and they couple wants 5 for their trip. You can "buy" them on of those on their site.

Or I've heard of a jar for a "honeymoon fund" at the ceremony itself. Which, to me, is really only ok if you haven't asked for gifts at the ceremony.

 

[Ashley]

Generally, if you are being invited to the wedding, you will be invited to the shower. So maybe that's why they sent you the invite.

Yeah, unless it's like your coworkers throwing you a shower at work, everyone invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding. Otherwise it's like "you're not important enough to get invited, but I still want you to give me a gift ." And some people will invite every female guest to their shower - which I always thought is weird, but whatever. Also, if the girl's fiancé's mom (the one that's a family friend) is helping to throw the shower for her soon to be daughter in law, then that might explain why they got an invite.

 

[cheerKT]

@Ashley so I have a question about wedding etiquette. My mom and I were invited to a bridal shower of a family friend's sons fiancée (if that makes sense.) We don't know the son and we really don't know the fiancée. Like we haven't even had a conversation with neither the bride nor groom. Ever. Luckily, we can't go because we're having family visiting that weekend. But my question is, is it normal to put where you're registered for gifts on the bridal shower invitation, because that's what they did?? My mom thought it was tacky and not something you put on any invitation, much less the invitation for a bridal shower. I don't know, but I'm curious.

That's totally standard to include that in my experience. Definitely normal around here on shower invites, but not wedding invites.

 

[Ems]

It's standard on a shower invitation because pretty much the whole point of a shower is to give gifts. It's also acceptable because you don't throw a shower for yourself, someone throws it on your behalf so it's not like you're sending out an invite and asking for gifts for yourself.

It doesn't go on the wedding invitation though.

That makes sense, thanks!

 

[omgitssydthekid]

I have one wedding this summer and I'm so excited. It's my first "friend" wedding, and it's a girl I go to college with and used to cheer with. The one I went to last year was one of my co-workers and he got married to the mom of a girl I used to cheer with. And the one the year before that was the owner of the gym I coach at's wedding. We're good friends but she's six years older than me.

I love weddings and think they're so fun but it's probably because I haven't been to very many.


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[UCFKnights07]

I made it through a 10 hour work shift with a cold and severe nasal congestion.... I feel so accomplished lol

 

[CheerBank]

Wow... I'm really glad I'm old and have normal friends who just go get married, with maybe ONE shower, and usually not even that.

Dear people who think the universe revolves around them,

If you have 7 showers (and worse, expect 7 gifts), you're an @$$hat. Knock it off.

Sincerely,
Normal people everywhere

Talk about wedding madness coupled with an extreme sense of entitlement....one of dh's employees is getting married in October (dh is very good friends with his father as he used to be dh's boss). They have been engaged for 2 years. They have already bought a house together and have a baby who will be about 18 months when they make it official. They are throwing this ridiculously lavish Saturday night wedding to the point where the groom's parents are only inviting the bare minimum because they really can't afford it. My question is...why? Why do this to such an extreme? Because you feel you deserve it? Or that everyone should buy you even more gifts to further celebrate your lives?

 

[mamabear]

Shower invites can include registry info, but it should never come from the bride or her parents. Registry info should never be included with wedding invites.

If you are invited to more than one shower, you should not feel the need to give a second gift. Sometimes, i might try to find something that fit in with the theme like an ornament or momento, if I felt like I wanted to give a token at the second event.