All-Star Please Help Me....ugh!

[hopskipandjump]

Someone, anyone, feel free to give any input you have on this 2-part problem:
1. Our gym is starting to become full of children who are developing severe anxiety and crying issues. And just to let everyone know: We do not make them feel like they HAVE TO WIN. We are of the "do your very best, and we can't control what the judges decide" kind of place. We play games, have sleepovers, etc., so it's not all about work either.
2. ATTITUDE issues. Especially before taking the floor. Pouty, arms folded, not speaking. So on.
This all looks really bad as I type it, so again, feel free to offer advice!

 

[Rudags]

Someone, anyone, feel free to give any input you have on this 2-part problem:
1. Our gym is starting to become full of children who are developing severe anxiety and crying issues. And just to let everyone know: We do not make them feel like they HAVE TO WIN. We are of the "do your very best, and we can't control what the judges decide" kind of place. We play games, have sleepovers, etc., so it's not all about work either.
2. ATTITUDE issues. Especially before taking the floor. Pouty, arms folded, not speaking. So on.
This all looks really bad as I type it, so again, feel free to offer advice!

Are you from Chicago? LOL.

I don't allow crying unless you are hurt. Any other tears will get you kicked out of practice until you come back composed. This sport is not only physically tough, you need to have emotional strength.

Attitude. HECK NO. Again, you can leave the gym until your ready to come back with a good attitude. I promote good sportsmanship and presentation to the public eye. If you are not representing yourself well, try another sport.

Im kind of a stickler on attitude. One eye roll will get you a ton of conditioning, if not, kicked out of practice and an IMMEDIATE meeting with your parents. Maybe its my small town raising in Iowa, but I grew up that NO MATTER WHAT, you respect your elders. The way kids think they can talk to me and 'make their own rules' doesn't fly. I can tell you, I have seen A LOT of maturity and self-respect to kids who have had me teach them about respect and consequences. Set a strong precedent in the beginning, and it will be easy the rest of the season.

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

Someone, anyone, feel free to give any input you have on this 2-part problem:
1. Our gym is starting to become full of children who are developing severe anxiety and crying issues. And just to let everyone know: We do not make them feel like they HAVE TO WIN. We are of the "do your very best, and we can't control what the judges decide" kind of place. We play games, have sleepovers, etc., so it's not all about work either.

Is it possible you have a bullying problem that you don't know about? I have read quite a few stories on this board about teams that have that one bad apple on a team that makes everyone else miserable.

 

[dawgshow]

Someone, anyone, feel free to give any input you have on this 2-part problem:
1. Our gym is starting to become full of children who are developing severe anxiety and crying issues. And just to let everyone know: We do not make them feel like they HAVE TO WIN. We are of the "do your very best, and we can't control what the judges decide" kind of place. We play games, have sleepovers, etc., so it's not all about work either.
2. ATTITUDE issues. Especially before taking the floor. Pouty, arms folded, not speaking. So on.
This all looks really bad as I type it, so again, feel free to offer advice!

Are the parents putting pressure on the kids? Are you in an area with a "big gym" nearby that they may be comparing themselves to?

 

[cupieqt]

UltimateRudags is correct. I also make kids leave practice. It's so embarrassing it almost never happens but it does and it works. And tears are only allowed for injuries--my minis know this too.
Eye rolling will get a conference with the parent following practice.

Be the alpha or the pack will elect one for you.

 

[KRECCheer]

Are the parents putting pressure on the kids? Are you in an area with a "big gym" nearby that they may be comparing themselves to?

Right down the street from the largest in our state but they never mention them.

The fact that one of the children mentioned she was going to be put on medication really disturbs me. Its almost like the idea has been glamorized.

 

[SarahS]

Are you from Chicago? LOL.

I don't allow crying unless you are hurt. Any other tears will get you kicked out of practice until you come back composed. This sport is not only physically tough, you need to have emotional strength.

Attitude. HECK NO. Again, you can leave the gym until your ready to come back with a good attitude. I promote good sportsmanship and presentation to the public eye. If you are not representing yourself well, try another sport.

Im kind of a stickler on attitude. One eye roll will get you a ton of conditioning, if not, kicked out of practice and an IMMEDIATE meeting with your parents. Maybe its my small town raising in Iowa, but I grew up that NO MATTER WHAT, you respect your elders. The way kids think they can talk to me and 'make their own rules' doesn't fly. I can tell you, I have seen A LOT of maturity and self-respect to kids who have had me teach them about respect and consequences. Set a strong precedent in the beginning, and it will be easy the rest of the season.

Yep, I think you have to be strong enough to set standards and follow through with them. I know it is ridiculously tough as a coach to send kids out of practice or even make them sit out of competition (ack! the changes to the routine are killer, I know!) because they aren't following your rules, but if you don't actually follow through with it, they will see that they can act however they please and the coach won't actually hold them accountable. Have policies set in writing (ie, If you are crying, there is something wrong, so for your safety and the safety of the rest of the team, you will have to sit out [for however long you deem appropriate]; If your attitude is such that it negatively compromises the safety of the team (which is determined solely by the coach), you will receive one warning. After that warning, if your attitude again negatively affects the team, you will be required to sit out the practice OR COMPETITION you are currently attending. You will not receive a refund for any fees.) and then have all of the athletes and their parents sign them. I always bring it back to safety, because that is what it boils down to - I want these kids to perform a great routine, definitely, but more than that, I want them to have fun and be safe, and negative attitudes and crying lead to improperly-performed skills, which, of course, are not safe.

 

[hopskipandjump]

These are good. I am making up a form today to cover these issues as we have an organization meeting tonight. It really helps! Thank you. And Mom of 2, I am always on the lookout for the bullying as we did have a case of that, but the problem has left and that doesn't appear to be an issue this year.

 

[Mamarazzi]

The fact that one of the children mentioned she was going to be put on medication really disturbs me. Its almost like the idea has been glamorized.

Why would it disturb you? Some kids do have legit anxiety issues and need meds. It happens. It would concern me if the majority of the gym was one meds, but one kid? It's really ok. Please don't give her the impression that she's damaged goods. I'm pretty sure if she has anxiety issues, she's already thought that a time, or two, about herself.

Have the parents noticed this behavior in the kids? Recently Boy Razzi was at the gym and I stepped out for a few. I got a text from one of the coaches telling me he was pouting, so I high-tailed it back to the gym to address it. But had the coach never texted me, I wouldn't have known.

 

[dawgshow]

Are KRECCheer and hopskipandjump the same person or from the same gym?

 

[KRECCheer]

Why would it disturb you? Some kids do have legit anxiety issues and need meds. It happens. It would concern me if the majority of the gym was one meds, but one kid? It's really ok. Please don't give her the impression that she's damaged goods. I'm pretty sure if she has anxiety issues, she's already thought that a time, or two, about herself.

Have the parents noticed this behavior in the kids? Recently Boy Razzi was at the gym and I stepped out for a few. I got a text from one of the coaches telling me he was pouting, so I high-tailed it back to the gym to address it. But had the coach never texted me, I wouldn't have known.

Thats the thing. We do seem to have a lot of children on medication for ADD, ADHD, Anxiety etc. This child has NEVER had an issue before. And now, all of a sudden she is saying "my mom is going to put me on medication, too!" I would never make a child feel as if taking medication is wrong or something to be ashamed of. Especially when I have anxiety issues of my own that really need to be handled.

 

[KRECCheer]

Are KRECCheer and hopskipandjump the same person or from the same gym?

She is my mother.

 

[dawgshow]

She is my mother.

Oh, I was confused

I think that there are some good ideas here, but you may want to have a parent meeting addressing these issues, especially the pressure aspect. I know from experience that a parent may be well meaning when they give feedback, but it really puts the child over the edge

 

[KRECCheer]

Especially when I have anxiety issues of my own that really need to be handled.

Ooh, that sounded terrible.

 

[nvecchioni89]

Ooh, that sounded terrible.

I think all you need to say is you coach an Open level 6. I think that explains it all