High School Suicide Is Not An Option

[Tosh]

I wanted to post this here for everyone, young and old, parents and children. Unfortunately my daughter’s classmate committed suicide on New Year’s Day (last Thursday). He was a popular freshman, started on the Varsity football team and had a girlfriend that was a cheerleader. Last night we found out that a friend of his, a senior also committed suicide. My daughter is so distraught; as am I as a mother.
I was up last night until after 3 just talking to my daughter. I will not go into any details; however I am posting this hear so that we as parents and friends pay attention to our children and encourage them to pay attention to their friends. Kids do not just commit suicide; they usually give some indication that they are contemplating taking such a step. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION! And above all else talk to your kids and kids talk to your friends and go to a trusted adult…..Pleaseeeeeee.
Suicide is NOT an Option

 

[TheDivineCheerYaYaSecret]

So very sorry for all involved. Prayers for you.

 

[amy1k]

That's just awful. [emoji17]

 

[Tosh]

Thank you, it is a really hard thing to face and I'm only directly dealing with my daughter; I can only imagine what these parents are going through.
@King I posted this here because this happened to HS kids. I really would like to put the word out there and get this message as much attention as possible; is there somewhere else on the board I should have posted it? if so is it possible to move the thread?
thanks

 

[quitthedrama]

Thank you, it is a really hard thing to face and I'm only directly dealing with my daughter; I can only imagine what these parents are going through.
@King I posted this here because this happened to HS kids. I really would like to put the word out there and get this message as much attention as possible; is there somewhere else on the board I should have posted it? if so is it possible to move the thread?
thanks

I am truly sorry for your daughter and her friend's families. If this is moved to a more popular section, especially one that kids see, I want to caution that I took your post to mean that these kids' friends and families should have seen signs and prevented such a tragedy. This is in no way the situation in many instances and only will add more grief and guilt to the surviving family members and friends. So often there are no signs and it is hard enough for friends and family members to grasp. It is certainly helpful to discuss general signs of depression, which I think is what you are getting at in your post.

 

[amy1k]

That's a super get point. Even when you DO see signs, mental illness can be completely out of the control of family members and suicide can become more of a risk during depression treatment (sometimes people are so depressed even suicide is too much to deal with, so as their depression lessens, they become more motivated to attempt suicide). Incidentally, my brother committed suicide when he was 15 (many, many years ago). We knew he was dealing with bipolar disorder, he was on medication, he saw his psychologist the day before his death.

 

[Tosh]

I am truly sorry for your daughter and her friend's families. If this is moved to a more popular section, especially one that kids see, I want to caution that I took your post to mean that these kids' friends and families should have seen signs and prevented such a tragedy. This is in no way the situation in many instances and only will add more grief and guilt to the surviving family members and friends. So often there are no signs and it is hard enough for friends and family members to grasp. It is certainly helpful to discuss general signs of depression, which I think is what you are getting at in your post.

Oh boy, that is definitely not my intent. I only mentioned that because of the 2nd incident only 4 days later. As we do not have the details, there is so much speculation going around. People are mentioning things like a Suicide pact, etc. and this is very scary. So as a caution to talk to our kids. The first kid had actually texted three of his friends the day before to ask if they would come to his funeral if he died.....so there were some signs, just nothing that anyone picked up on.....this is why I mentioned it. The same thing with the second boy, he posted a farewell message to the first kid on his facebook page and it all seemed fine..."Miss you, this is not good bye......" followed by a few other words, but nothing that anyone would look at and think anything; however, now looking back his message transulates "this is not good bye, see you soon"....so in both cases there were some kind of a sign. Mostly these signs are presented to close friends and not immediate family members, so I want everyone to pay attention. Not everything is a joke and even if it is, double and tripple check.....So sorry my intended point was misinterupted.

 

[amy1k]

Such a terrible thing. I feel so much for their families and the others who have been impacted. Such an impossible thing to deal with and process.

 

[Tosh]

That's a super get point. Even when you DO see signs, mental illness can be completely out of the control of family members and suicide can become more of a risk during depression treatment (sometimes people are so depressed even suicide is too much to deal with, so as their depression lessens, they become more motivated to attempt suicide). Incidentally, my brother committed suicide when he was 15 (many, many years ago). We knew he was dealing with bipolar disorder, he was on medication, he saw his psychologist the day before his death.

As someone who is living with bipolar disorder and have attempted suicide (as a young adult dealing with an abusive marriage....), I do understand and sorry for your loss. The only point I am trying to make is that this is a subject that we all need to discuss and have open dialog especially with our teenagers....Also individuals with mental illnesses are much more closely monitored than the popular freshman starting on the Varsity football team and a girlfriend that is a cheerleader. Not saying that there was not an underlining mental issue, but typically, this is not the profile of someone that may commit suicide. However, this is the type of kids these boys were, very popular, outgoing, had lots of friends, etc....and now both gone due to suicide......Not pointing fingers, or looking for someone to blame, just getting the word out that under any and all circumstances SUICIDE IS NOT an OPTION

 

[KDCheerMom]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter's classmates. Keep talking about it with her so she knows you are listening and care

 

[mamabear]

I am so sorry Tosh. strength to you and yours.

 

[haylsv3]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My brothers best friend committed suicide about 4 years ago. We had to keep a very close watch on my brother because he spiralled downward for a long time (he's just starting now to get a handle on everything). Almost a year later his other friend committed suicide. It's been a rough few years but I'm happy we kept such a close eye on him, and took the triggers out of the house. I honestly don't think he'd be around now if we let him heal on his own

 

[jscoach210]

I wanted to post this here for everyone, young and old, parents and children. Unfortunately my daughter’s classmate committed suicide on New Year’s Day (last Thursday). He was a popular freshman, started on the Varsity football team and had a girlfriend that was a cheerleader. Last night we found out that a friend of his, a senior also committed suicide. My daughter is so distraught; as am I as a mother.
I was up last night until after 3 just talking to my daughter. I will not go into any details; however I am posting this hear so that we as parents and friends pay attention to our children and encourage them to pay attention to their friends. Kids do not just commit suicide; they usually give some indication that they are contemplating taking such a step. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION! And above all else talk to your kids and kids talk to your friends and go to a trusted adult…..Pleaseeeeeee.
Suicide is NOT an Option

Tosh I'm sooo sorry. Being in jersey I saw this news story and thought abt your daughter and her teammates if they knew these boys. I'm so sad. As a mom of 3 I am constantly talking to them.. We must be diligent and watch all children for signs ...I pray for their family and friends..!hugs to u And your daughter.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[blyndreamalum]

this is my cousin who committed suicide 5 years ago this past December. He and another friend both shot themselves together as a pact. His friend was known to have some suicidal intent, my cousin was not but he did have demons in his past. He was adopted from Russia and before being placed in an orphanage there he was responsible for his sister's well being when their mother went out at night. When they were adopted he was 4 and she was 3. He was a varsity baseball player in talks with colleges and had attended the state football game that weekend where his school won the state title. The hardest part is never truly knowing why, but I'm lucky enough to have an amazing family that turned tragedy into a scholarship. In the four years following his death we held an annual Cornhole tournament where we raised approximately 10k each year for students from his primary school attending his high school.

 

[Tosh]

this is my cousin who committed suicide 5 years ago this past December. He and another friend both shot themselves together as a pact. His friend was known to have some suicidal intent, my cousin was not but he did have demons in his past. He was adopted from Russia and before being placed in an orphanage there he was responsible for his sister's well being when their mother went out at night. When they were adopted he was 4 and she was 3. He was a varsity baseball player in talks with colleges and had attended the state football game that weekend where his school won the state title. The hardest part is never truly knowing why, but I'm lucky enough to have an amazing family that turned tragedy into a scholarship. In the four years following his death we held an annual Cornhole tournament where we raised approximately 10k each year for students from his primary school attending his high school.

Thank you for sharing and you and your family keep up the good work in turning something so hard into something positive.