All-Star Hairgate 2015 - Mom Upset Daughter Is Off The Team Because She Wont Straighten Hair For Competitions

[kristenthegreat]

Dear goodness you people, I had to read like 20 pages to catch up with this nonsense.

Good news: It hasn't been picked up in my newsfeed yet.

I find it funny that they used CEA as the example in that video...the gym that, had they been super demanding about cutting your hair or wearing extensions or whatever, would have denied us the joy of the Maddie Gardner bob.

Also- gymnastics is a bit different. While yes, they do have 'standards' about hair presentation, it is not always expected to look the same for every girl (as far as I've seen). Some girls wear buns, some ponies, and not all of them are exactly the same. I looked for clips at the team final, and they've all got something a little different going on. It is pulled back and off the shoulders though.

And I think that's the point (outside of the SM crazy) that people find a bit ridiculous/over the top. It's not that it's a simple 'ponytail, bun, braid, etc.' requirement, but the 'ponytail must have straight end, poof must only go 2" back, at least 1 1/2" high' perception of over-regulating that has people scratching their heads. Because it IS just hair, so why does it need to be so obsessive? That seems weird to outsiders, considering it's literally for about 3 min of competition from mat on to mat off.

Again- the mother is wrong in the situation. It doesn't mean we as an industry haven't gone a bit mad ourselves.

 

[Cheermom1969]

As a parent of a WE athlete, I would like to share a post from another WE mom on the events that happened. I am sorry for the length.

FACEBOOK POST:

[Dear Houston Chronicle, ABC news, Good Morning America and every other news source that jumped on the " momma drama bandwagon"
Without further investigating the situation in it's entirety.

Please understand that you are only reporting the mothers side.
While this response may be lengthy, I hope you and your staff take the time to read my words, seek truth and investigate further. As your one sided report of an non- news worthy report is lacking in facts.
If you wish to be taken seriously as a leading news source, please read the following insight on a 12year strong company that is a leader in their industry.

Please know that my eleven year old daughter was witness to this moms vulgar reaction to WE's hair and make -up meeting. Instead of addressing the issue like an adult, this mom, who is a teacher in our community responded with extremely vulgar language, gestures, in a loud disruptive shouting voices belittling WE staff in front of minor children

As a reputable news source you know all too well that once something is seen or heard, it can not be taken back. I will never be able to " take back" the strew of four letter words my eleven year old heard by this mom.

How awful for her daughter and other athletes to be subjected to such verbal abuse. I believe the correct word media would choose is verbal bullying .

Let me " paint " a picture for you of our WE family.

In the past five years of being a part of WE my daughter has been nurtured by many talented coaches who are not only the best in the industry, but they have become part of our family.

Here is why-

First WE lived by 3F3gb1a
You see these words on our shirts, some practice and every athlete, coach and staff member uses them as sort of a " code of honor "

What are these words-
Faith, Family, Friends, Believe in one another, Give God the Glory.

How do we carry this mission statement out?

By submerging ourself into our communities far and wide with service projects.

Yes, see WE this year has about forty teams. That is forty teams with about 20-32 athletes on each one that sets out to make a difference in our community.

We hold toy drives, collect food for food banks, clothing drives for women's shelters, raised money for MLS, assembled hundreds of Easter baskets for the women's shelter in Montgomery county, raised money for injured veterans, made blankets for children, supported other WE athletes when their house burned, organized meals and donations for a family who's dad was severely injured. This is just a few ways WE had made a positive impact in the past 12 years. I have even watched girls cut their to donate to cancer patients in need of a wig. Our athletes and their families have BIG hearts.

WE work together as a family to give back to the community and support each other.

Last year we had an athlete who's dad left. This left her and her siblings in a stressful and dire finical struggle. Our team pulled together and made sure that athlete had everything she needed to be able to attend All Stars in Vegas. A few of us one night drove to Walgreens to get her a finger brace and Tylenol when she jammed her finger, so that her mom could have an easier evening.

Everything I have said is the " norm" at WE.

I have even seen coaches help with homework, partner with parents to mentor a teenager when needed.

No one asked her to permanently alter her daughters hair.

That is not how WE operates.
Yes, we curl our hair on some teams and others we straighten it. Yes, we all wear the same make up. It is all for the judges. Those girls aren't about the big hair and make up, they are all about being part of a team, a family, working hard and being dedicated to their fellow athletes.

These athletes are most always the leaders at their schools. Why? Because they know the true value of hard work , dedication and working with others to get the job done.

Please don't take away from everything our athletes have worked so hard for with some false accusations.

Please see the true side of WE.

You want a news story - report on the negative effects that her hurtful and vulgar words on on all those small children in the gym that night.

Report on the impact that WE had made in the community over the years.

I truly hope that you will see and seek the truth.]

I just saw this come across my Facebook through another friend.
Well written and kudos to you for writing it.

 

[quitthedrama]

It's truly a legit news organization---not like a rag mag or an HuffPost---these people actually give people their local news!

I think that is why I am so disgusted and heated over this. It isn't just with this story - there are so many others where reputable businesses and people are having their reputations and in some cases their careers destroyed by legitimate news sources - yet these news sources aren't doing any research whatsoever. They are taking one or a few people for their word and running with their story without a care in the world as to the repercussions on false reporting and/or lack of research. Something similar happened in my town a couple of years ago, where a family accused the high school football players of racism and bullying their kid and spray painting racial slurs on their foundation. A few weeks after this team and their coaches were dragged through the mud locally and nationally and were forced to forfeit the season and were refused service and spit on by strangers, it was found that there was no bullying and the racial slurs were painted on the house by the parent because she wanted her kid to play for a school with a better football team. I can't put into words what those players and coaches went through and I don't want to have to see the staff and even the athletes at Woodlands go through the same thing all because of a selfish B*%$# with ulterior motives.

 

[catlady]

Again- the mother is wrong in the situation. It doesn't mean we as an industry haven't gone a bit mad ourselves.

A bazillion shimmies !

 

[astaley22]

And I think that's the point (outside of the SM crazy) that people find a bit ridiculous/over the top. It's not that it's a simple 'ponytail, bun, braid, etc.' requirement, but the 'ponytail must have straight end, poof must only go 2" back, at least 1 1/2" high' perception of over-regulating that has people scratching their heads. Because it IS just hair, so why does it need to be so obsessive? That seems weird to outsiders, considering it's literally for about 3 min of competition from mat on to mat off.

Again- the mother is wrong in the situation. It doesn't mean we as an industry haven't gone a bit mad ourselves.

It's not just cheer though. Most performance teams have something similar. I was in show choir in high school and we were required to wear the same makeup the same way on each girl. We actually wore the hair pieces mentioned in the press release that you put on a bun. Even the boys had to have their hair styled the same way. It sounds silly sure, it's just hair and makeup. But it really does make a difference in terms of how a team looks on stage or in this case, on the mat. It's visually appealing when there isn't 30 different hair styles going on.

ETA: these were the hair pieces. Most people actually thought they required the girls to have the same length of hair to be on the team. They were only $45 but were very good quality. Brushing with a wig brush after each performance and they lasted for 2 years. You can't see the boys hair from the back but if it was longer than a buzz cut, they were gelled into the set style.

 

[MyGirlCheers]

Dear goodness you people, I had to read like 20 pages to catch up with this nonsense.

Good news: It hasn't been picked up in my newsfeed yet.

I find it funny that they used CEA as the example in that video...the gym that, had they been super demanding about cutting your hair or wearing extensions or whatever, would have denied us the joy of the Maddie Gardner bob.

Also- gymnastics is a bit different. While yes, they do have 'standards' about hair presentation, it is not always expected to look the same for every girl (as far as I've seen). Some girls wear buns, some ponies, and not all of them are exactly the same. I looked for clips at the team final, and they've all got something a little different going on. It is pulled back and off the shoulders though.

And I think that's the point (outside of the SM crazy) that people find a bit ridiculous/over the top. It's not that it's a simple 'ponytail, bun, braid, etc.' requirement, but the 'ponytail must have straight end, poof must only go 2" back, at least 1 1/2" high' perception of over-regulating that has people scratching their heads. Because it IS just hair, so why does it need to be so obsessive? That seems weird to outsiders, considering it's literally for about 3 min of competition from mat on to mat off.

Again- the mother is wrong in the situation. It doesn't mean we as an industry haven't gone a bit mad ourselves.

Oops, now my response is redundant - @astaley22 beat me to it!

I think the sameness would not apply to gymnastics since it's an individual sport - however there is general uniformity because they represent the same team. A better analogy would be a dance team, synchronized swimming, marching band, drill team, etc. where synchronicity is part of the judging. I'd dare to say that most synchronized performance arts/sports require even more sameness to their hairstyles than typical cheer teams.

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

I think that is why I am so disgusted and heated over this. It isn't just with this story - there are so many others where reputable businesses and people are having their reputations and in some cases their careers destroyed by legitimate news sources - yet these news sources aren't doing any research whatsoever. They are taking one or a few people for their word and running with their story without a care in the world as to the repercussions on false reporting and/or lack of research. Something similar happened in my town a couple of years ago, where a family accused the high school football players of racism and bullying their kid and spray painting racial slurs on their foundation. A few weeks after this team and their coaches were dragged through the mud locally and nationally and were forced to forfeit the season and were refused service and spit on by strangers, it was found that there was no bullying and the racial slurs were painted on the house by the parent because she wanted her kid to play for a school with a better football team. I can't put into words what those players and coaches went through and I don't want to have to see the staff and even the athletes at Woodlands go through the same thing all because of a selfish B*%$# with ulterior motives.

Not just news sources, this happens all the time on social media. People's lives are ruined when regular people twist others' posts into something it's not and then it goes viral. I just finished a book called "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" by Jon Ronson a few weeks ago and it was all about this subject. Pretty interesting read but I feel so bad for the people who were talked about in it.

 

[MzLyn23]

OK I'm going to agree that my gymnastics analogy was a little bit fudged and I didn't really think it through when I was typing so fast at work but I will say this:

that mom sucks
The reporter sucks
The whole story sucks

Somebody please pass the wine scarf from the other thread!!!

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[Ashley]

Dear goodness you people, I had to read like 20 pages to catch up with this nonsense.

Good news: It hasn't been picked up in my newsfeed yet.

I find it funny that they used CEA as the example in that video...the gym that, had they been super demanding about cutting your hair or wearing extensions or whatever, would have denied us the joy of the Maddie Gardner bob.

Also- gymnastics is a bit different. While yes, they do have 'standards' about hair presentation, it is not always expected to look the same for every girl (as far as I've seen). Some girls wear buns, some ponies, and not all of them are exactly the same. I looked for clips at the team final, and they've all got something a little different going on. It is pulled back and off the shoulders though.

And I think that's the point (outside of the SM crazy) that people find a bit ridiculous/over the top. It's not that it's a simple 'ponytail, bun, braid, etc.' requirement, but the 'ponytail must have straight end, poof must only go 2" back, at least 1 1/2" high' perception of over-regulating that has people scratching their heads. Because it IS just hair, so why does it need to be so obsessive? That seems weird to outsiders, considering it's literally for about 3 min of competition from mat on to mat off.

Again- the mother is wrong in the situation. It doesn't mean we as an industry haven't gone a bit mad ourselves.

I agree with you. I don't want to jump on the "EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE THE EXACT SAME HAIR FOR THE JUDGES" bandwagon, because it's kind of crap. I (attempt to) do whatever hair style I'm asked, but my hair sucks and I don't make a huge effort to make it look exactly like they want. I curl it when they say to curl it, but I have like 3 curls. I tease when they say tease, but I have no hair to tease. I straighten when they say straighten, I wear it half up when that's what they ask. Realistically, there's no reason why we couldn't just do ponytails and why this girl couldn't just wear hers in a ponytail curly. It's not going to look *that* different.

(I'm totally not on the moms side in this case - I know this is about way more than hair)

 

[MzLyn23]

I agree with you. I don't want to jump on the "EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE THE EXACT SAME HAIR FOR THE JUDGES" bandwagon, because it's kind of crap. I (attempt to) do whatever hair style I'm asked, but my hair sucks and I don't make a huge effort to make it look like they want. I curl it when they say to curl it, but I have like 3 curls. I tease when they say tease, but I have no hair. Realistically, there's no reason why we couldn't just do ponytails and why this girl couldn't just wear hers in a ponytail. It's not going to look *that* different.

All I kept thinking in my head reading and watching the story online was why does she just not say anything wait until the first competition or showcase and just show up with her hair in a ponytail you know maybe try or attempt to straighten it out a little bit and if they say something say well that's the best that I can do instead of doing this whole freaking show for attention and 15 mins of fame!!


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[catlady]

It's not just cheer though. Most performance teams have something similar. I was in show choir in high school and we were required to wear the same makeup the same way on each girl. We actually wore the hair pieces mentioned in the press release that you put on a bun. Even the boys had to have their hair styled the same way. It sounds silly sure, it's just hair and makeup. But it really does make a difference in terms of how a team looks on stage or in this case, on the mat. It's visually appealing when there isn't 30 different hair styles going on.

Safety, IMO, should take precedence over hair pieces that are used to get curly or straight uniformity . A sport that requires you to tumble and walk pyramids/stunts around should not want to take chances on hair pieces falling out, and yes, I've seen hair pieces come out on the floor. I don't think anyone has an issue with reasonable stage make up and hair pulled up in a neat, high pony tail, with a bow, curled or straight, half up-half down, etc. This mom went around it wrong but, her daughter really does have an awful lot of hair to wrap up in a bun and then add a hair piece just to make it look straight.

 

[Ashley]

All I kept thinking in my head reading and watching the story online was why does she just not say anything wait until the first competition or showcase and just show up with her hair in a ponytail you know maybe try or attempt to straighten it out a little bit and if they say something say well that's the best that I can do instead of doing this whole freaking show for attention and 15 mins of fame!!


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I thought the same thing. Just don't do it or show up with a half-bootyed attempt at straightening it. What are they going to say or do at that point? Hold you down and come at you with a straightener?

When I had a long bob I never even attempted to curl my hair. I've been told that the 9 flyers on my coed team needed to have their nails painted red or nothing at all - 3 days before worlds after I had already gotten a gel polish in a neutral color. The coaches aren't going to check the colors of my nails when I land in Florida, and I was not going to redo my $25 manicure.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

^^^^^^In regards to "what are the coaches going to do, make you fix it?"

I have asked a HS cheerleader to fix hair 30 min before a game.

We do a high pony with bow. This kid showed up with it half up/curled.

I think that is different than someone trying to do a pony and not being able to, though.

 

[MzLyn23]

I also find it very hard to believe that she has never done "anything" damaging to her daughters hair previously. Where are the investigative reporters now huh? Research past postings or Instagram accounts etc... I'm curious to know.


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[astaley22]

Safety, IMO, should take precedence over hair pieces that are used to get curly or straight uniformity . A sport that requires you to tumble and walk pyramids/stunts around should not want to take chances on hair pieces falling out, and yes, I've seen hair pieces come out on the floor. I don't think anyone has an issue with reasonable stage make up and hair pulled up in a neat, high pony tail, with a bow, curled or straight, half up-half down, etc. This mom went around it wrong but, her daughter really does have an awful lot of hair to wrap up in a bun and then add a hair piece just to make it look straight.

Fair enough, I'm just saying in most cases they work very well. We had a girl with even more hair than the athlete in question and she just made two buns. One for the piece to go on and one right underneath. No one ever noticed and if you've never seen a show choir, there is lots of hairography and flips/lifts in most shows where the bun would have a chance to be seen. And the release says about 14 days out of the season would require straightened hair..that's about 3% of the year. I don't think that's much to ask.

All I'm saying is that there are ways to create a compromise that would have allowed the girl to stay on the team and avoided the media circus. But then the mom wouldn't have gotten her 15 minutes of fame, so..