All-Star Really? Can't A Parent Just Be A Parent?

[mommy2mygirls]

Sometimes I get so annoyed I want to scream... nothing was said to me or directly about me but I overhear these types of things all the time.

Sometimes - saying something nice to a coach is just saying something nice to a coach - not trying to suck up because you want sally to be placed on a team or given special treatment. I am a firm believer in feedback and I give both negative and positive - I am a firm believer that coaches have a VERY difficult job and it comes with a lot of BS so when there is a coach that stands out and is amazing I think comments/recognition should be given just as much as when there is one that is the opposite.

Sometimes - sitting and watching practice is because you enjoy sports - you enjoy watching kids progress you enjoy watching your child progress. I actually enjoy having some sort of knowledge of the kids on her team - the skills - the overall part of her life that she is SO in love with so I can have a real conversation about it with her and have amazing memories with her. Not because I want to coach my child or "watch/judge" the coaches.

I DO have my own life my own passions my own everything -- but I also love and enjoy my children and want to be part of what they are doing -- I helped in classrooms - I chaparoned field trips - I help with homework - I help with class projects/etc -- why is it when wanting to be involved in THIS sport is is turned to a negative? Why does "cheer mom" have to have that negative feeling about it instead of being something to be PROUD of??

I think I am just getting tired of a world full of negativity where the people who cause problems put us all in a bad light -- it really makes it hard for those of us that want to ENJOY this process and time with our kids knowing how short lived it is.

 

[LittleMiss]

Yes you can be just a parent. It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job and your girls with thank you when they are older that you weren't a "Cheer Mom".

 

[BlueCat]

The running joke in our circle is that every parent starts their conversation with "Just so you know, I'm NOT one of THOSE parents, but . . . "

 

[mommy2mygirls]

The running joke in our circle is that every parent starts their conversation with "Just so you know, I'm NOT one of THOSE parents, but . . . "

LOL! I think most of us parents feel like if we have an opinion about anything we are one of THOSE parents!

 

[lakerfantlc]

THAT REMINDS ME OF THE STATEMENT.."dont say ya heard it from me cuz I'm not one to gossip"....

 

[lifeoftheparty]

The running joke in our circle is that every parent starts their conversation with "Just so you know, I'm NOT one of THOSE parents, but . . . "

ooopsss lol. But to the OP I am also very involved in everything my kids do, not only cheer.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Wow... this is soooo true. I am now at a point where I am afraid to say anything to anyone sometimes because I'm afraid it makes me "Susie's Mom" just because I'm proud, or taking an interest, or wanting my daughter to do better at something I know she can do. And just because I genuinely like her coaches and care about them as people doesn't mean I think it means a hill of beans at placement times. It is possible that I just actually like them.

I get where you are coming from. It's funny how when you're involved with schoolwork, field trips, girl scouts, etc. you're a great, caring mom. But when you're involved in your child's cheering suddenly you're "that mom".

Maybe I just like watching her. And maybe I ask about her teammates because she is on a TEAM and I'd like to, as you said, be able to have a conversation with her after practice. Maybe I stay for the whole time (sometimes 4 hours ) because we live an hour and a half away and I have nowhere else to go.

And my personal favorite: that I'm living through my kids. Um, I live (and have lived) PLENTY without them. I have a social life (less now that I've moved to Chicago where I don't know anyone ), I have interests. I played plenty of my own sports, so I don't need my kids to play them for me. Maybe I just want them to have the same wonderful experiences I had from participating in sports.

I so totally "get" this. Thank you for posting it - glad to know I'm not the only "Non-cheer-mom Cheer Mom"

 

[Mom Jeans]

I love, "I'm not a scary cheer mom, but I've read all the rules so I do know what I'm talking about" After 9 years of cheer, I can honestly say I know more than most parents, but not 1/2 as much as the coaches.

mommy2mygirls I agree, at least if I have a question and I'm going to have a discussion about an issue it's with the coaches not the parent room. It's the fastest and most accurate way to get an answer.

 

[StarshipTrooper]

The running joke in our circle is that every parent starts their conversation with "Just so you know, I'm NOT one of THOSE parents, but . . . "

In our circle it is "have you paid the tuition and competition fees".

 

[mommy2mygirls]

There is so much hear already that I love I don't even know how to respond!
Just A Mom - LOVE all that you said - I completely feel the same way!
Coast2coastfan - " at least if I have a question and I'm going to have a discussion about an issue it's with the coaches not the parent room. It's the fastest and most accurate way to get an answer. " EXACTLY - I am SO not going to parent room gossip and cause additional issues/frustration -- If I have a question/concern I ask because I want to know and put it to rest NOT because I want to stir up drama - I already lived through middle/high school and have NO interest in doing it again!

 

[mommy2mygirls]

"Non-cheer-mom Cheer Mom"

I think I am going to make a shirt that says that for comps! LOL!

 

[CheerMomNTx]

The running joke in our circle is that every parent starts their conversation with "Just so you know, I'm NOT one of THOSE parents, but . . . "

Because in fact they ARE one of those parents. Yep as a bystander (parent who keeps out of drama) I have seen this!!!

 

[5-6-7-8]

Love what everyone has said so far!!

But at the end of the day, if by being involved and enjoying watching my CP cheer someone labels me as a "cheer mom," I am OK with it. I know the truth, my CPs coach(es) know the truth, and who cares really about the rest. I am just a curious person by nature, and I love learning new things. I love learning about cheer, asking questions, etc. But I know my "place" and would never cross that line into "living through my daughter" or coaching from the parent room. Sure I may "scout" the teams my CP goes against, but you know what, I do the same thing with MY tennis opponents.

 

[Zinger_bebe]

Amen amen amen to all of this!! I really love watching my CP and her team is like family and I love watching all of them progress!! Regardless of how she performs at practice especially when she is having a not-so productive day, I love to be there to support her and ALWAYS encourage her. I cringe when I hear parents fussing and cutting down their children. They are just pushing their kids away from cheer when they do this.

 

[socratesofcheer]

@mommy2mygirls
I find it interesting the terms that are thrown around about "cheer moms". If it were a dad and his son doing many of the same things in baseball, the dad would generally be considered a "great dad". "Wow! Look how much time that dad spends with his son, he's great!"

It may be of no comfort, but I do hear stories of soccer, baseball, or fill in the blank moms.