All-Star A Question For Parents

[Coach Sara]

Hi Parents!
I’m still new to the board so you may now know me- I’m a Mental Toughness Coach. My colleague Dr. Alison Arnold (Sport Psychologist to USA Gymnastics since 1997) and I teach Webcamp for cheerleaders, which is an online program which helps them work through fears, blocks, and become more mentally tough (www.headgameswebcamp.com if you want to check us out).

We were hoping you could take a couple moments to share:
What are the common issues that you are seeing as a cheer parent? For example, CP is dealing with fear, perfectionism, teammate issues, etc. We'd love to get your feedback so that that we can better help your cheerleaders.
Thanks so much!

 

[DaniV]

Hi Parents!
I’m still new to the board so you may now know me- I’m a Mental Toughness Coach. My colleague Dr. Alison Arnold (Sport Psychologist to USA Gymnastics since 1997) and I teach Webcamp for cheerleaders, which is an online program which helps them work through fears, blocks, and become more mentally tough (www.headgameswebcamp.com if you want to check us out).

We were hoping you could take a couple moments to share:
What are the common issues that you are seeing as a cheer parent? For example, CP is dealing with fear, perfectionism, teammate issues, etc. We'd love to get your feedback so that that we can better help your cheerleaders.
Thanks so much!

I used Dr. Alison years ago when I was in gymnastics and always recommend her to my cheerleaders that are dealing with mental blocks. Glad to see you on the boards!!

 

[Coach Sara]

I used Dr. Alison years ago when I was in gymnastics and always recommend her to my cheerleaders that are dealing with mental blocks. Glad to see you on the boards!!

Thanks!! We have webcamp sessions now just for cheerleaders, which we're really excited about! Glad to be here

 

[justpeachy]

I think this is an exciting conversation!

Common issues I've seen (not necessarily experienced):
pressure from parents
negative self talk
cliques affecting self esteem
fear of physical strength/ power
fear of embarrassment

 

[FTSP]

Perfectionism is a huge issue with my CP. She has no patience for anything less from herself and it is VERY hard to watch.

 

[Coach Sara]

Perfectionism is a huge issue with my CP. She has no patience for anything less from herself and it is VERY hard to watch.

Thanks for sharing. Perfectionism is tough (for everyone!). Helping perfectionists notice their improvements and successes can be useful (though that may be hard to do) as well as setting goals/expectations for areas such as attitude and effort, not just skill execution.

 

[MOPSMommy1]

Something I am dealing with with my CP right now is fear. She broke her hand tumbling earlier this year. Her cast is off and she has been given the go ahead to start tumbling again. She says she isn't scared to tumble, but you can tell she is babying that hand when she tumbles. It's a difficult situation because she says it doesn't hurt so it's not a pain issue, and she says that she doesn't feel scared and nervous, but subconsciously she must be. Should she just get in the gym and tumble, tumble, tumble or will pushing herself just lead to a mental block? It doesn't help that she is a perfectionist, too!

 

[SheCheers]

Unwarranted Criticism will affect my cp. for example, if someone suggests she's not trying hard enough, when the reality is she's going above and beyond, it will shut her down. If the criticism is helpful and real, it pushes her forward.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Like @MOPSMommy1 , 2 of my 3 had major injuries last season (torn achilles, fractured L5, torn UCL) and now fear re-injury. Thankfully, both are physically recovered but the memory is a beast.

Also, learning self-gratification. They're learning that setting and working toward personal goals is important whether a coach gives recognition for it or not.

 

[dawgshow]

Overcoming a justified fear. For example: a flyer being dropped on purpose feeling confident going back in the air; a base betting elbowed by flyer purposefully able to give 100% for that flyer; girls being pushed into skills without being prepped/taught how to do them correctly.

I offer a pony to anyone who can get CP to tumble backwards for more than a month

 

[cheermomforever]

Injuries r hard mentally and physically to get over and b confident in returning to cheer. My daughters 2nd knee surgery was almost 10 months ago and they still have a hand on her when she fulls. No complaint from me! She will not even try her double again. This weekend a fun comp but Jan begins qualifiers so of course she wants to do it then, we will c what happens! Thank god coach did not rush her and actually held her back a little from twisting tumbling! Just want an injury free last season for her!

 

[cheer25mom]

Things I see in general as a parent:
Kids who progress too quickly through skills without solidifying technique get mental blocks
A bad fall creates a mental block
A pushy parent making a mental block worse
Wannabe Flyer Syndrome, often encouraged by a parent, makes a kid miserable because they will never live up to that
The perfectionist kids that are way too hard on themselves

With my personal kid:
It's getting better now, but she had to fight through a period where she didn't think very highly of herself because she was struggling to progress and behind others her age.
The cliques and kids who have cheered together for years were hard her first year.

 

[SheCheers]

Oh the dreaded growth spurt losing skills. That was probably one of the most hard things for my cp. she didn't even realize what was happening, she just couldn't do things anymore. She was really hard on herself until we realized she had grown 5 inches in a short time and it wasn't "her fault".

 

[driverto6]

I agree with the 'fall' or 'injury' mental block being one of the most common issues I have seen as a parent. My child will likely never do a whip because she fell directly on her head 2 different times when practicing it. She refuses to even try it anymore.

 

[Coach Sara]

Something I am dealing with with my CP right now is fear. She broke her hand tumbling earlier this year. Her cast is off and she has been given the go ahead to start tumbling again. She says she isn't scared to tumble, but you can tell she is babying that hand when she tumbles. It's a difficult situation because she says it doesn't hurt so it's not a pain issue, and she says that she doesn't feel scared and nervous, but subconsciously she must be. Should she just get in the gym and tumble, tumble, tumble or will pushing herself just lead to a mental block? It doesn't help that she is a perfectionist, too!

Fears are completely normal after an injury! Like you said, she may not be aware of it, but could very well be nervous. It is important to get the reps in- would her coach be willing to help her go back to some of the basics and progressions leading up to her tumbling passes? If she can build confidence leading up to the skills, this may help. If this continues, PM me as we have some good resources for dealing with fear.