Can We Stop Yelling At Each Other?

Discussion in 'Allstar Cheerleading' started by shadowsmom, May 17, 2019.

  1. shadowsmom

    shadowsmom I'm new. Don't Hurt Me

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2019
    Messages:
    4
    Shimmys Received:
    2
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Still very new here so maybe my POV doesn't carry much weight, but please listen to me when I say: this place can get nasty.

    I first came on this board a few months ago and was so pleased with the support and positive feedback I got from you guys regarding my daughter's cheer team. I haven't really contributed since but have popped in and out to read your opinions that are always so informational, funny, and generally positive.

    That being said, it seems like that good-naturedness only extends until a mild difference of opinion brings it all crashing down. I'm specifically talking about the Rockstar post that seemed to devolve quickly into scorn, derision, and for some of you, personal insults.

    I'm the first to admit that I'm not familiar with Rockstar since I don't really follow all-star cheer or Twitter so I'm not sure what the situation was about. But I understand that the post defended a transgender athlete who encountered some bullying from her teammates. Others thought the whole incident might've been fake or just gossip. Okay cool. Plenty of room to agree or disagree there without any ugliness.

    But the way some of you came after each other was really inappropriate, embarrassing, and bordered on bullying which is ironic given the reason for the post in the first place. This is an internet message forum about cheerleading. It's just not that serious. But some of you were targeting others like they'd burned down your house and killed your dog. If you're letting this place make you feel that lobbing personal insults against online strangers is a good use of your time and/or in any way makes you look good, maybe it's time to step back and gain some perspective. And if you're attacking someone for defending a transgender athlete -- against bullying of all things -- it doesn't matter what you say to them because you'll never succeed in making them look as bad as you're making yourself look at that moment. It's never a good idea to attack someone for saying, "Bullying is bad."

    I guess a lot of ire came from people feeling the whole thing was just gossip and so didn't deserve a post, but bullying is such a scourge that I think it always deserves a conversation. If this whole thing turns out to be fake then so be it, but discussing it and denouncing it can never be a bad thing. That's where I got so confused. It was a post I felt sure would show a lot of unity and compassion, and instead turned kind of gross and pathetic.

    Anyway, it was really disappointing to read on here given that I've come to think of this place as a safe harbor against the cheer hate that seemingly inundates the rest of the world. If we can't avoid that behavior we're we're no better than the pathetic anonymous Twitter users that spend their time terrorizing strangers for reasons they made up in their heads. And I come here because it's not Twitter. It's much more mature and refreshing. Please let's keep it that way. I know sometimes people post stuff we don't agree with, and that's fine. No reason to let it ruin your day or anyone else's.

     
  2. oncecoolcoachnowmom

    oncecoolcoachnowmom Bestest Newbie '14

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2014
    Messages:
    5,524
    Shimmys Received:
    17,256
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    I'm not sure what thread you were looking at because I saw no one yelling? No one's "day being ruined." And no one bullying.
     
  3. oncecoolcoachnowmom

    oncecoolcoachnowmom Bestest Newbie '14

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2014
    Messages:
    5,524
    Shimmys Received:
    17,256
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    In regards to your allegations that people on this forum are bullying:

    I have this convo with kids every single day and generally assume that adults get it, but it is a very important topic. Here goes:

    The word bullying has become super buzzworthy due to a very real issue with actual bullying in American schools.

    However:

    Every instance of disagreement between 2 humans is not bullying.
    Every instance of namecalling is not bullying.
    Every instance of someone using unkind words is not bullying.
    Every insult is not bullying.
    Every instance of two humans not liking each other is not bullying.

    Bullying involves power imbalances and actions over time. I literally cringe every time an adult who feels upset by something someone said uses the word. Everything is not bullying. Are these actions pleasant? No. Do you feel great? No. But no one is being bullied.
     
    • Shimmy Shimmy x 23
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  4. Keep_Believing

    Keep_Believing Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2011
    Messages:
    5,006
    Shimmys Received:
    6,642
    Location:
    Texas
    Web:
    Twitter:
    stormydakota
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Remember back in the day when it used to get ugly. The boards are really tame now.
     
  5. Kiermyc

    Kiermyc They call me Susie

    Joined:
    May 14, 2018
    Messages:
    83
    Shimmys Received:
    62
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    I didn’t the thread as much as bullying as condescending by defenders of Rockstar.
     
  6. luv2cheer92

    luv2cheer92 Moderator Staff Member Bracket Winner Video Curator

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Messages:
    8,361
    Shimmys Received:
    14,011
    Location:
    DFW
    Web:
    I am a(n)...:
    Athlete
    I was gonna say the same thing. If you think that thread is ugly, then good thing you weren't around 5-6 years ago.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
  7. NJ Coach

    NJ Coach 10's Across the Board....literally. Staff Member National Champion

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2010
    Messages:
    6,355
    Shimmys Received:
    19,679
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    This board was never as bad as ProX was. Now that was a blood bath, to the point it got shut down, and here we are.
     
    • Shimmy Shimmy x 7
    • Bullying Bullying x 1
    • List
  8. dat.jpp

    dat.jpp Best Flyer.. on a parent team

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,343
    Shimmys Received:
    519
    I am a(n)...:
    Athlete
    Since I love drama, what/who was ProX? Don't need to go into depths.
     
  9. UCFKnights07

    UCFKnights07 Slow your roll, Sparkle.

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    4,655
    Shimmys Received:
    6,931
    I am a(n)...:
    Retired From Cheer
    oh gosh i remember how BAD it use to be about a year or two ago. I feel like this is the longest time currently that people have been super nice to each other here.
     
  10. luv2cheer92

    luv2cheer92 Moderator Staff Member Bracket Winner Video Curator

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Messages:
    8,361
    Shimmys Received:
    14,011
    Location:
    DFW
    Web:
    I am a(n)...:
    Athlete
    Oh yes. I came in near the end of ProX, though I only read then and with imissthexboards because I was too afraid to post.
     
  11. Mom2Cheergirls

    Mom2Cheergirls I have my own cheer message board

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,056
    Shimmys Received:
    2,013
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    I understand you are new and you feel you have found a safe place. Any place can get nasty especially where you are basically anonymous .There are trolls everywhere who live for the drama. There are also passionate people with very definite views. This athlete in question in particular brings a lot of drama (I almost posted twice there and deleted and decided to scroll instead based on first hand experiences). That doesn't excuse bad behavior just giving you some background.

    But here is the thing I can only control my own behavior and that of my children on social media. You are either lecturing people who aren't doing it or speaking to people who don't care and either way it just generally ignites additional drama.

    There are actual moderators to this site and there is always the option to report any post or thread at the bottom if you feel someone has crossed the line.

    I do hope you choose to stay because I can tell you this board has helped me a great deal over the years. No place is perfect but this is a forum where you can learn more and I think get a lot of valuable information and just avoid the tea if it isn't to your taste.[/QUOTE]
     
  12. NJ Coach

    NJ Coach 10's Across the Board....literally. Staff Member National Champion

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2010
    Messages:
    6,355
    Shimmys Received:
    19,679
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    ProX was a cheer message board. It's death led to this board.
     
  13. CheerBank

    CheerBank Slow your roll, Sparkle.

    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Messages:
    8,184
    Shimmys Received:
    17,330
    Location:
    In my drama free bubble
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Possibly because the people who were defending Rockstar including the Beatles’ team mom have a better idea of what actually transpired as opposed to everyone who got their panties in a twist over posts by a cheer anon on Twitter they assumed must be true. I didn’t find them condescending at all.
     
  14. Kiermyc

    Kiermyc They call me Susie

    Joined:
    May 14, 2018
    Messages:
    83
    Shimmys Received:
    62
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Good for you. One lady (the team mom) who was just on damage control. Funny how they can make accusations with no proof at the same time saying she needed to show proof. Also making incorrect statements about what has changed at rockstar. I listened to a mom scream and curse about her daughters placement on a team then 10 min later make a beautiful post about how happy she was about her daughters placement. That is the culture of cheer.
     
  15. CheerBank

    CheerBank Slow your roll, Sparkle.

    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Messages:
    8,184
    Shimmys Received:
    17,330
    Location:
    In my drama free bubble
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Who exactly is making accusations about what?