All-Star Coaches Dating Athletes With Parent Approval

[socratesofcheer]

hmmmmmmm this is incredibly similar to a recent event in a gym in georgia.
but i'm not going to mention any names. considering no one has.
but as someone has said before in this thread, either the coach or athlete must step down from their position if they want to continue their relationship otherwise it would just be awkward and whatnot amongst the other athletes/coaches/parents.
even though there's not an intense age difference, and the athlete is 18, it is still heavily frowned upon and it's just soooooo unprofessional. it'll be extremely difficult to regain everyone's respect/trust for that coach. oh and the fact that the parents would even approve of this just blows my mind.

Without mentioning names, can you lay out the scenario for discussion purposes.

I think the board is getting too many "what if the girl moved from another gym but was dating the guy before and she is actually older than her boyfriend who just got asked to cover a tumbling class on a random tuesday and they were engaged to be married and now they have to break up" situations.

 

[asiantumble10]

Without mentioning names, can you lay out the scenario for discussion purposes.

I think the board is getting too many "what if the girl moved from another gym but was dating the guy before and she is actually older than her boyfriend who just got asked to cover a tumbling class on a random tuesday and they were engaged to be married and now they have to break up" situations.

well here's an outline of it (this is what i've been told, so don't count on 110% of accuracy)
people found out owner is sleeping with a level 5 girl who is 18 (only because some girl went around running her mouth), a good bit of the athletes at the gym leave the gym and went to another nearby gym because their parents lost respect for the owner. girl's parents are apparently okay with the relationship.
this happened recently and i just found out like 2 days ago, so that's pretty much the whole scenario.

 

[cupieqt]

well here's an outline of it (this is what i've been told, so don't count on 110% of accuracy)
people found out owner is sleeping with a level 5 girl who is 18 (only because some girl went around running her mouth), a good bit of the athletes at the gym leave the gym and went to another nearby gym because their parents lost respect for the owner. girl's parents are apparently okay with the relationship.
this happened recently and i just found out like 2 days ago, so that's pretty much the whole scenario.

Not ok. Owners should not sleep with their teenage athletes. Nope. Uh uh.

 

[ztaprincess]

Without mentioning names, can you lay out the scenario for discussion purposes.

I think the board is getting too many "what if the girl moved from another gym but was dating the guy before and she is actually older than her boyfriend who just got asked to cover a tumbling class on a random tuesday and they were engaged to be married and now they have to break up" situations.

People are bringing up those situations because they are realistic and happen regularly. If you flat out say it is unethical you are saying that a situation where a relationship was going on before coaching even started is still unethtical. I think those that are bringing up these situations realize that there are just as many times that it is wrong and can cause major problems, but you can't ignore the times where a rule like this is too much.

I also ask would you still lose respect for a coach if their relationship is started with an athlete who was at one time on the team they coached but graduated? Say the former athlete is 18 and doesn't cheer anymore, will their relationship still seem as unethical as it would be if that athlete was still in the gym cheering?

 

[AndyT_T]

Legal and adult are two different things. Legal, 16 in most states. Adult, 18. And in MY house, adult is when you are OUT of my house. I would NOT be ok with my child still in high school dating ANY coach OUT of high school. Period, the end. Ew.

I kind of agree with you, but the law doesn't really back you up on the last part. My parents don't believe in tattooing, or piercing, or homosexuality. But I'm 18 so *legally* I can do all of those things.

 

[lakerfantlc]

Dont get me wrong...I am no love snob....but just the sound of "coach" and "parents permission" ....it just seems not quite right...maybe it's me....:/

 

[Jay<3Rays]

This is going on near me. not at stingrays, obviously you would know. but the girl who is dating the coach i know & use to cheer with. he is 28... i repulses me.

 

[socratesofcheer]

#1People are bringing up those situations because they are realistic and happen regularly. If you flat out say it is unethical you are saying that a situation where a relationship was going on before coaching even started is still unethtical. I think those that are bringing up these situations realize that there are just as many times that it is wrong and can cause major problems, but you can't ignore the times where a rule like this is too much.

#2I also ask would you still lose respect for a coach if their relationship is started with an athlete who was at one time on the team they coached but graduated? Say the former athlete is 18 and doesn't cheer anymore, will their relationship still seem as unethical as it would be if that athlete was still in the gym cheering?

#1 People bring these types of situations up because this is "The Exception to the Rule" board. Everyone here likes to point out the few times that a situation happens. Whether it is a stunt or a coach dating a kid.

#2 Not sure what you are trying to say, but, if the coach is waiting for the graduation day so he can ask out the girl, yep he is a slimeball.

My opinion: A relationship starts when both parties are in high school and then continues when one becomes a coach. Is that a big deal? Nahh. But when does there become a clear separation from date-able student to off limits student.
A rule that says coaches may not date students is very black and white. While it may stink for that one couple, in the big scheme of things it's better to have clearly defined boundaries.

 

[socratesofcheer]

I kind of agree with you, but the law doesn't really back you up on the last part. My parents don't believe in tattooing, or piercing, or homosexuality. But I'm 18 so *legally* I can do all of those things.

If you're 18 and you wish to tattoo, pierce yourself, or be homosexual, by all means go ahead.
Now, If you are 22 and a person of authority over you is trying to date you, there can be serious problems for the authority figure. You can research a certain cheer coach that was arrested and found guilty of this very thing. Everyone of his VICTIMS were at least 18.

 

[newcheerdad]

I think that consenting adults can date while having an athlete/coach, athlete/owner, or even coach/owner relationship. With any of those types of relationships you have to be highly aware that you could run afoul of sexual harassment statutes, so it's important to weigh those risks.

When you get into adult/minor relationships, that's an entirely different story and I would hope that gym owners would strictly forbid them.

 

[ztaprincess]

#2 Not sure what you are trying to say, but, if the coach is waiting for the graduation day so he can ask out the girl, yep he is a slimeball.

My opinion: A relationship starts when both parties are in high school and then continues when one becomes a coach. Is that a big deal? Nahh. But when does there become a clear separation from date-able student to off limits student.
A rule that says coaches may not date students is very black and white. While it may stink for that one couple, in the big scheme of things it's better to have clearly defined boundaries.

The example I am using is say the coach is 23 maybe 24 and at one time coached this athlete but the athlete has since graduated, is in college, and no longer cheers. If a relationship forms with them after the athlete is no longer in the gym does that make him just as bad as if the relationship formed when she was on the team? Not sure how it makes him a slimball for starting a relationship with an 18 year old. Sure there may be some coaches out there that wanted a relationship with that athlete when they were 16 or 17, but is it fair to label them all slimeballs?

Heck you could even use the example of a 24 year old coach dating an 18 year old college student who has never cheered a day in her life. Is he still a slimeball?

You are right though when does the clear separation appear? That question itself shows to me that it is a big grey area with lots of "ifs" and "buts" that can come up. I think that these "ifs" and "buts" may even pop up more then the creepy "slimeball" coaches that pray on younger athletes.

 

[cupieqt]

You are right though when does the clear separation appear? That question itself shows to me that it is a big grey area with lots of "ifs" and "buts" that can come up. I think that these "ifs" and "buts" may even pop up more then the creepy "slimeball" coaches that prey on younger athletes.

You can do "what if" for every rule in the book and use about 20 different scenarios for each, but these rules (and laws) are in place for the protection of the owners, coaches and athletes, not the people looking for love in all the wrong places. I understand young adults and teenagers often think rules like this are stupid but they are in place for very legitimate reasons.

 

[cheerinfo]

I kind of agree with you, but the law doesn't really back you up on the last part. My parents don't believe in tattooing, or piercing, or homosexuality. But I'm 18 so *legally* I can do all of those things.

I never said "legally" that an 18 year old couldn't date anyone they wanted....however....MY child will turn 18 while a senior and still living under my roof. Therefore, I AM THE LAW. In MY household, it would not be permitted. That is basically what I meant.

 

[socratesofcheer]

Heck you could even use the example of a 24 year old coach dating an 18 year old college student who has never cheered a day in her life. Is he still a slimeball?.

Nope. The whole issue here is coach vs athlete relationship and the authority that the coach has over athlete.

23 yr old dude meets 18 year old at the bar in college town... Could be construed as a little weird but not slimeball status in my book.

 

[Underestimated]

GA (not the gym) dont feel too left out.. someone in california (not the gym) just did this too (OOOOOPS.... i did again)

i dont know full details but this "COACH" was let go.. thats all i know!