High School Codes Of Conduct? Just Because?

[CheerMom333]

Do any schools actually inforce all those codes of conduct that the cheerleaders agree too? My daughter has now watched videos of 7 cheerleaders violating every single one of them, including a captain! A lot of them are on public social media and the kids don't seem to be attempting to hide them.

I know that high school age kids are not perfect. I know that this is the age that a lot of them are trying new things and getting into trouble. I am just having a hard time thinking about sending my kid away to camp for 4 days with some of these girls who have been non stop drunk and high and obviously don't like to follow the rules!

I feel like I am watching a Lifetime movie! I'm frustrated that my daughter is busting her butt while other girls are making the school and the cheer team look bad.

New staff and young coaches also makes me think that I would only put a red X on my kids back if I said anything.

Anybody have something similiar going on at their school?

 

[cheermomforever]

I would be cautious of the whole situation if coaches know this is happening! It could lead to a dangerous accident if God forbid they are drunk at a camp practice, or game. Sorry for your daughter.


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[OldskoolKYcheercoach]

We have standards, not rules. It sounds like a difference in semantics, but it's really not. Kids will challenge rules, but will try to live up to standards.

I have an assistant who is in her early twenties that follows all of the instagrams, twitters, snapchats, etc. I got a text from her last night with a questionable, but not necessarily egregious, photo. I always tell her to suggest the athlete take the photo down "before" I see it. That allows her to be the "cool" coach that's looking out for them, allows me to be the bad guy (a role I don't mind playing), and allows the athlete to save face by not getting in trouble in front of their teammates.

if the coaches are new and young, maybe they aren't sure how to handle the situation.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I do not follow my kids but our assistant coaches do. I haven't always had someone do that but I do now.

You should never feel afraid to bring something to the staff's attention on social media if you believe it is against the rules.

I had a social media bullying situation a few years back between two athletes (over a BOY of course) that ended up getting both suspended from school and off the team (that bad.) I would never have seen if a parent had not brought it to my attention (this was before my assistant was lurking.)

 

[CheerMom333]

I do not follow my kids but our assistant coaches do. I haven't always had someone do that but I do now.

You should never feel afraid to bring something to the staff's attention on social media if you believe it is against the rules.

I had a social media bullying situation a few years back between two athletes (over a BOY of course) that ended up getting both suspended from school and off the team (that bad.) I would never have seen if a parent had not brought it to my attention (this was before my assistant was lurking.)

Well, here is the new thing that almost every kid I know has and I just learned the term. Finsta. It means fake Instagram. Most of the girls also have fake twitters. So they follow the coaches with their regular, fluffy content accts and then they block the coaches and team accts with their fake accts. Because they are blocked, when they search a name, only the main accts are visible.

It is insane!

 

[CheerBank]

Well, here is the new thing that almost every kid I know has and I just learned the term. Finsta. It means fake Instagram. Most of the girls also have fake twitters. So they follow the coaches with their regular, fluffy content accts and then they block the coaches and team accts with their fake accts. Because they are blocked, when they search a name, only the main accts are visible.

It is insane!

Both of my daughters and most of their friends have Finstas. Which I am not "allowed" to follow but they still show me everything they post. It has definitely become a way for kids to hide things they don't want coaches or teammates to see. It's not really any different though than from what high school juniors/seniors do - change their social media names so potential colleges cannot find them and their posts.

 

[Beans100]

Good thing kids don't know how to keep secrets. Even with a fake social media account, if someone is doing something wrong, word will get out. These kids might be able to block out their parents but coaches are different. Girl A will tell Girl B who will accidentally say something to Girl C who will tweet a comment about it and then Girl A will get mad and the coach will hear about the drama which will go back to the source of Girl A's antics.

 

[amy1k]

I've not heard the term "finsta" until just now. It makes sense, though, for kids wanting to play in college or get a job or whatever. I mean, even if you aren't posting inappropriate stuff on social media, it's logical to have an account that presents the very best to whoever may be looking. Not having easy-to-find social media can be a red flag. College coaches (from what I've experienced) want to be able to find your social media. My son keeps his clean, but he's been tagged in questionable posts by friends...and just the connection to some people may send a message that is less than desirable about your character.

 

[OldskoolKYcheercoach]

Social media will be the root cause of the development of the Orwellian society.

 

[SparkleSpankies]

We do bag checks w/ a school administrator before camp, now, I know that is not completely fool proof, however, what I can say is that I have enough "tattle-tales" on my team that would rat out someone in a minute. I don't really worry about the drinking and so on at camp, I keep them busy and they are tired. My issue is when they are home around their other peers.. Friday night football, saturday morning practice, etc... that's when I have issues and the issues are obvious.

 

[OldskoolKYcheercoach]

We do bag checks w/ a school administrator before camp, now, I know that is not completely fool proof, however, what I can say is that I have enough "tattle-tales" on my team that would rat out someone in a minute. I don't really worry about the drinking and so on at camp, I keep them busy and they are tired. My issue is when they are home around their other peers.. Friday night football, saturday morning practice, etc... that's when I have issues and the issues are obvious.

Starting that Saturday morning practice with a light 3-mile run is a good way to get the rest of the alcohol out of their bellies

 

[catlady]

Both of my daughters and most of their friends have Finstas. Which I am not "allowed" to follow but they still show me everything they post. It has definitely become a way for kids to hide things they don't want coaches or teammates to see. It's not really any different though than from what high school juniors/seniors do - change their social media names so potential colleges cannot find them and their posts.

I've not heard the term "finsta" until just now. It makes sense, though, for kids wanting to play in college or get a job or whatever. I mean, even if you aren't posting inappropriate stuff on social media, it's logical to have an account that presents the very best to whoever may be looking. Not having easy-to-find social media can be a red flag. College coaches (from what I've experienced) want to be able to find your social media. My son keeps his clean, but he's been tagged in questionable posts by friends...and just the connection to some people may send a message that is less than desirable about your character.

I wonder how long it will be before the picture you send with your college app or on your LinkedIn acct. can be Googled and they will find all things in existence by facial recognition?

 

[SparkleSpankies]

Starting that Saturday morning practice with a light 3-mile run is a good way to get the rest of the alcohol out of their bellies

Or ask the trainer to do a workout with quite a few ups and downs and a lot of running in between. That by far was my personal fave! It was very military like.. they were DYING!!!!!

 

[AScheer]

Do any schools actually inforce all those codes of conduct that the cheerleaders agree too? My daughter has now watched videos of 7 cheerleaders violating every single one of them, including a captain! A lot of them are on public social media and the kids don't seem to be attempting to hide them.

I know that high school age kids are not perfect. I know that this is the age that a lot of them are trying new things and getting into trouble. I am just having a hard time thinking about sending my kid away to camp for 4 days with some of these girls who have been non stop drunk and high and obviously don't like to follow the rules!

I feel like I am watching a Lifetime movie! I'm frustrated that my daughter is busting her butt while other girls are making the school and the cheer team look bad.

New staff and young coaches also makes me think that I would only put a red X on my kids back if I said anything.

Anybody have something similiar going on at their school?

Yes, we enforce our "guidelines" to the letter. If it's not a rule that I will enforce, I don't put it in the guidelines. Like a coach above said wording is important.

As for finstas... kids (for the most part) really aren't that smart. They likely made their finsta with an email account that ties back to them. They get tagged in photos from other kids who don't have finstas, and they flat out tattle on each other. I've always told my kids if I find an account and you've blocked me on it, then we will have a meeting. Blocking obviously implies that there is something on there you don't want me to see. If something happens a meeting with mom or dad is first, followed by whatever the punishment is. I've kicked kids off for drug use before, kicking a kid off will put the fear of God into the others for a couple of years. I've also pulled out severe conditioning and major community service (like the horrible kind that no one wants to do.) I'm not as big into following anymore, I'm tired of having all these different social media accounts on platforms that I don't want. It becomes a chore to check. I have a 21 year old assistant that has taken that over. The biggest tattlers we have are the freshly graduated. They love to text me questionable posts to keep their beloved program in check.

 

[ARajamin]

Do any schools actually inforce all those codes of conduct that the cheerleaders agree too? My daughter has now watched videos of 7 cheerleaders violating every single one of them, including a captain! A lot of them are on public social media and the kids don't seem to be attempting to hide them.
New staff and young coaches also makes me think that I would only put a red X on my kids back if I said anything.

At the last school I coached at I had this problem. As a coach i knew it was going on and in some cases even had video and photo proof sent to me by others on the team. Took it to admin and was told that there was nothing they/I could do about it.

As a coach it's frustrating... I know in my situation I appreciated it when a parent came to me with similar concerns as yours. Although I couldn't do anything about it, I made sure that at camp I roomed that cheerleader with similar girls who weren't of the "partying" group... Maybe it will help?