All-Star Not Showing Up To A Competition

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Last year on my daughters team she had a girl not come to a 2 day competition but the parents called that morning. Reason: They found out she was missing a lot of school assignments and failing a class so they kept her home to do all of her schoolwork. I'm iffy on that one and the reason being is that as a parent school comes first as a former coach for my kids sports team it's putting the other kids in a bad spot for not having their teammate there they are depending on.

This weekend we had a competition that was in the area but a good hour away. My daughter also still plays rec soccer and she has missed soccer practice due to cheer practice or competitions but we always tell the coach as soon as we know there is a conflict. This weekend her cheer team was competing 30 minutes before her soccer game was to start and the soccer team was going to already be short 3 girls and one out w/ a broken arm. We asked her cheer coaches that as soon as she came off the mat to let her go so she could meet me at the exit doors and we could head to the game and get her there for the last half. They were perfectly fine with it since it was on the 1st day of the competition. Told the soccer coach what time the cheer time was and that as soon as she was done we were heading straight there. We got to the field while they were still in the 1st half and the coach put her in. She ended up playing the entire second half but I must say, I had the prettiest soccer player on the field that day :) She still had on her makeup and cheer bow wearing a soccer uniform, shin guards, socks and cleats. LOL! And the coach and her teammates were VERY GLAD to see her since they were short on subs. Turns out one of the girls on the soccer team missed because of a PARTY!?!?!?!? That, NO!!!!!!!!! My cp knows this is the last season she can do rec soccer due to school commitments and cheer next year.
 
Last year on my daughters team she had a girl not come to a 2 day competition but the parents called that morning. Reason: They found out she was missing a lot of school assignments and failing a class so they kept her home to do all of her schoolwork. I'm iffy on that one and the reason being is that as a parent school comes first as a former coach for my kids sports team it's putting the other kids in a bad spot for not having their teammate there they are depending on.

Sorry, but this is NOT an excuse. As a coach and owner, I always tell my parents that belonging to our gym should never be used as punishment as it effects other children on the team. That is the bottom line. Its not just about your child. Find another punishment. There are millions to pick from - hurting the rest of the team is a poor excuse in parenting.
 
This happened to a team in my gym once. She "couldn't find a ride". She was kicked off.
Cheerleading takes commitment and someone just doesn't show up to a competition, they are not committed and do not deserve to be on that team.
 
I think a family emergency (i.e., death) should be acceptable and the child shouldn't be punished. When I cheered we had a girl no show on competition day- her father passed away that morning. I can't imagine having her being punished for something she had absolutely no control over, especially in a time that she needed us most. She did send a text after many, many, many calls (and an angry voicemail or two) from us wondering where she was. It's a tough call when there's an emergency involved. A birthday party, school work, no ride? Those aren't reasons to let down an entire team.
 
Isn't it crazy how differently people see commitment and responsibility? On one thread we're all debating if these kids should compete with pneumonia and swine flu...and then there are kids like this (and parents
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) who just can't seem to grasp the concept of basic responsibility (it's bad enough she didn't go--but not even a phone call???). A party, school work, fight with a friend...NONE of these are acceptable. Only in emergency and/or medical situations should a child EVER miss competition! And even when my daughter missed for injury, we spent the whole day before driving all over Virginia Beach to make sure the girl filling in for her had a uniform and make-up. And we still went to the comp...

I swear people will never cease to amaze me. The fact that she didn't even think it was wrong after the fact tells me she is not ready for any type of team activity. (And apparently neither are her parents--I think I'm more disgusted with them in this case)
 
While I agree school work is a top priority, lets be honest here. The routine is 2:30 she still had plenty of time to get her work done. Make her bring her work and work until she goes to warmups, then right back to work the minute she steps off the floor heck take her home to continue to work on it. If after the competition you want to remove her from the team then so be it but don't use that as an excuse to punish an entire team!
 
Last year on my daughters team she had a girl not come to a 2 day competition but the parents called that morning. Reason: They found out she was missing a lot of school assignments and failing a class so they kept her home to do all of her schoolwork. I'm iffy on that one and the reason being is that as a parent school comes first as a former coach for my kids sports team it's putting the other kids in a bad spot for not having their teammate there they are depending on.

As to the homework question - I think the correct response is to allow the girl to attend the competition, but make it clear that all of her free time that weekend that isn't directly team-related (like watching other teams or attending awards) will be spent doing homework. But I don't necessarily disagree with the response of the parents, either, because ultimately school has to come first. And in our program, doing poorly in school gets you kicked off the team anyway.

My cp knows this is the last season she can do rec soccer due to school commitments and cheer next year.

It's funny, my daughter and I have already had the "if you do all-star cheer you can't do soccer as well" discussion, and (sadly for me) cheer won. :)
 

I did not say I agreed with it at all. ??????

I've been a coach (soccer) and it was a PAIN when parents would let down a whole team because of some things (homework the kid can't seem to get done before/after games or practices like other kids seem to do, birthday parties and such). I've seen these kids be out there in freezing cold or burning hot weather playing w/ hardly any or no subs at all for over an hour because of some parents lack of commitment and total misunderstanding of how the PARENTS actions don't just punish their own child but an entire team. I can understand if there is a school function that the child will get graded on but not for just homework. When we got home from our competition yesterday my daughter had a couple of things she had to get done for school and she knocked it out. She not only competed for 2 days and did it beautifully, played in her soccer game but she got her homework all done as well as her laundry. She has taken homework with her when we have traveled as well and so has her older sister even though she does not cheer. A lot of her friends do. Even worse though, I dealt w/ divorced parents that because Dad did not enroll the kid in soccer, mom did, when it was Dad's weekend he REFUSED to bring them to games or practices even though he lived really close by. Or the divorced parents where mom is living somewhere different every week and dad doesn't want the kids because his new live-in girlfrield doesn't want them around so dad won't bring them to anything if he does have them and won't come watch them. This doesn't punish the other parent....... this punishes their OWN CHILD! Not to even mention the team.

If I had been the parent of the girl that missed because she got in a fight w/ a teammate.......... NO WAY IN HADES would I be letting her NOT go to the competition. Too bad, too sad. Then again, I don't allow my kids to spend the night at a friends if they are a teammate or not the night before a game or competition. Because I'm the one responsible for making sure they get a good nights sleep and for getting them to where they are supposed to be on time and with everything they need.

That said, there is a girl I know that probably should quit and the mom should be pulling her out. I would have the first day if it had been my child. The girl, high school, has already been sent to reassignment school TWICE this year and causes all kinds of trouble and gets in trouble at school. She has a bad attitude toward her teammates as well and says a lot of very unappropriate things. She is failing classes at school as well and struggles in other areas. Imho, the parent needs to pull the kid out of cheer and make her focus more on her schoolwork and attitude before I'd EVER fork over the $$$ for all star cheer. THANK GOODNES she is NOT on our team.
 
Gotta love the Minis...My 7 yr old thinks that he should have a different tumble pass everytime they compete.

Have to love them...I have kids come up to me everytime we're in warmups asking if I want to see whatever new skill they got during the week. They never understand why I only want them to warmup what's in the actual routine.
 
A girl on one of our teams failed to show at Dallas NCA Nationals. Her parents called to say that the cheerleader's friend's grandfather died. One of the youngest girls on the team had to fill in for her as a flyer and did a terrific job....for the rest of the season, needless to say!
 
As to the homework question - I think the correct response is to allow the girl to attend the competition, but make it clear that all of her free time that weekend that isn't directly team-related (like watching other teams or attending awards) will be spent doing homework. But I don't necessarily disagree with the response of the parents, either, because ultimately school has to come first. And in our program, doing poorly in school gets you kicked off the team anyway.



It's funny, my daughter and I have already had the "if you do all-star cheer you can't do soccer as well" discussion, and (sadly for me) cheer won. :)

Does your gym check grades and if they are failing they can't participate/compete? I think more probably should. I know ours does not. If they are cheering at school or playing sports thru school we have no pas/no play and that applies to everyone involved in any extra curriculiar activity be it sports, cheer, band, drill, etc.

How many are at gyms that do check grades?

It is a toughie as a parent because school should always come first. But there should be no reason why a child that is in a sport should not have proper time management to be able to get their schoolwork done and be able to participate in something outside of school. If the parents are seeing to it all the time, every day, that their child is staying up w/ their schoolwork and they know well ahead of time that there is a 2 day competition coming up.......... why are they NOT staying on top of it????? But, gotta say that the family that this girl is from is kind of strange anyway. They don't have the whole "commitment" thing down in many areas of life from what I've seen. Mom and dad won't BOTH attend competitions (divorced). If mom is going to be taking her then dad won't come, if dad is bringing her then mom won't come. ????????? Sorry, but it's my CHILD! I'll be there.

LOL!!! She knows this is her last year for soccer. She said she is going to miss it but she likes cheer and band more than soccer. So far we have not had many conflicts and I'm GLAD!!! I hate having to choose as it's a let down to both if you are not there.
 
A girl on one of our teams failed to show at Dallas NCA Nationals. Her parents called to say that the cheerleader's friend's grandfather died. One of the youngest girls on the team had to fill in for her as a flyer and did a terrific job....for the rest of the season, needless to say!

????? That one is a little much. I can see a grandparent, parent, sibling or a friend. But a FRIENDS grandfather???? Uh, no. The parents should have............... oh, never mind............I think I'm giving up on a lot of people being able to actually "parent".

If it is someone close (parent, grandparent, sibling) it's probably not a good idea that the athlete compete as their mind is not going to be there and it could be a huge risk. They need to be not only physically ready to compete but mentally.
 
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