All-Star Questioning Team Level

[BellaCheerMom]

Am I being a difficult Cheer Mom? While celebrating January birthdays at our gym last night, in what I thought was just a casual, not serious, conversation my CP’s coach stated she was so excited that CP would be 10 years old in August and she could cross-over and put her on their Senior Level 3 team. I replied that I think she’s too young and joked that it’s best if we just keep her on the Junior team she’s on because she’s so small and people already say she looks like she should be on Mini’s. The coach looked at me like I had grown horns and said “I never thought YOU would be one of those Mom’s that questioned our decisions as coaches” and walked away!

Suffice to say, I stood there shocked and embarrassed because I am the last person to get involved in Cheer Mama drama and have never questioned placements etc. I DO think my CP is too young and needs to mature a little more before being with the older girls. I really didn’t think I was questioning their coaching, I was simply a Mom making an observation about her daughter.

I don’t know if I should say something now and explain that I wasn’t questioning their decisions, or if I should just let it go until try-outs in May and sit-down with them and explain my point of view before placements for next year.

 

[sarahh_cheers]

remember, YOU have the final say on anything to do with your daughter, not the coaches. i would wait until we get closer to tryouts to speak with the coaches.


pittsburgh poison is comin through your area, causin mass hysteria!

 

[MamaC]

You will be fine

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

I would wait till closer. But if it comes up you can say you feel flattered she thinks your daughter would do well on Senior 3 and you are sure they would make the right decisions coaching her on that team but your concern is how she would fit socially with those girls when they are off the mat and 10 is still a little girl not really ready to listen to teen conversations. Basically make sure they know you trust their instincts on the mat but your concern is off the mat and that is when your instincts for your child matter. That was bad form by the coach in my opinion.

 

[quitthedrama]

I am not one to let things fester so I would address it sooner than later but keep it casual. Do you have the coaches email? If so, I would send a quick email asap explaining what your thought process was to the comment the coach made (worried that your daughter was not mature enough for the older team) and apologize for the fact your comments were construed as giving an opinion on team placements. If you don't have the email I would mention it the next time you are in the gym (not during practice time). And I agree with @Mom2Cheergirls - it seems like the coach was over-reacting.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

Absolutely address this right away. If I were you, I'd pull the coach aside and explain to her that you believe your comments may have been taken out of context, and you're sorry she got the impression that you were doubting her. Reassure her of your trust in her coaching abilities (if you really trust her) and then explain your side of the story, just like you told us.

As a coach, I find that I take things from my favorite moms to heart more than the problem moms. She may not think you're a problem mama, but it's sometimes tough to hear one of the "good" parents question your abilities, because those are the opinions that matter. I know there are a few parents whose opinions I truly value and take to heart.

 

[allstar nini]

Am I being a difficult Cheer Mom? While celebrating January birthdays at our gym last night, in what I thought was just a casual, not serious, conversation my CP’s coach stated she was so excited that CP would be 10 years old in August and she could cross-over and put her on their Senior Level 3 team. I replied that I think she’s too young and joked that it’s best if we just keep her on the Junior team she’s on because she’s so small and people already say she looks like she should be on Mini’s. The coach looked at me like I had grown horns and said “I never thought YOU would be one of those Mom’s that questioned our decisions as coaches” and walked away!

Suffice to say, I stood there shocked and embarrassed because I am the last person to get involved in Cheer Mama drama and have never questioned placements etc. I DO think my CP is too young and needs to mature a little more before being with the older girls. I really didn’t think I was questioning their coaching, I was simply a Mom making an observation about her daughter.

I don’t know if I should say something now and explain that I wasn’t questioning their decisions, or if I should just let it go until try-outs in May and sit-down with them and explain my point of view before placements for next year.

you should address the situation now because in may they would probably forget about the situation and put her on a senior team anyways.if I were you I wouldn't be concerd about the coaches statement . your defiantly not one of "those" moms. whatever that means. you just have a simple concern . you feel that your daughter should be around people her age and that is completely fine.

 

[cheermommaRN]

I would definitely "clear the air" now rather than later. On the other hand I wouldn't be to concerned about team placements in January, there is no way to determine exactly what team you will have next year. Also the makeup of the senior team she was referencing may be a young senior team. Like everyone said you have the final say, if you don't like the team they place her on it's your right to take her somewhere with a team more age appropriate.

 

[Cheerleaders Rock]

I agree do not wait to have the discussion but let me say that sometimes it does work. You are right you know your child but the coaches may see a little dynamo in there.

My daughter is a senior age girl and they put a 10 year old as her flyer. By the end of the season they had such a great sister relationship that girl can stunt like crazy. She totally trusts my daughter - she said I will not let you come out the air. So there are situations where it does work.

As I said, you know your child and if she can handle a senior team - because there are some 10 year olds that clearly can handle the pressure.

 

[Bling it On]

I agree do not wait to have the discussion but let me say that sometimes it does work. You are right you know your child but the coaches may see a little dynamo in there.

My daughter is a senior age girl and they put a 10 year old as her flyer. By the end of the season they had such a great sister relationship that girl can stunt like crazy. She totally trusts my daughter - she said I will not let you come out the air. So there are situations where it does work.

As I said, you know your child and if she can handle a senior team - because there are some 10 year olds that clearly can handle the pressure.

My 12yr old was on two Sr teams when she was 10. There was a great big sis, lil sis type relationship there. For the most part the older girls were careful of what they said and did around her....with the exception of a team sleepover where a lively game of truth ensued and she came home knowing who had gone all the way with their boyfriend and who had snuck beers out of their parents fridge. We just elected to utilize that experience as an opportunity to have a couple of discussions about growing up and what is responsible behavior.


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[cheernerd5678]

My 12yr old was on two Sr teams when she was 10. There was a great big sis, lil sis type relationship there. For the most part the older girls were careful of what they said and did around her....with the exception of a team sleepover where a lively game of truth ensued and she came home knowing who had gone all the way with their boyfriend and who had snuck beers out of their parents fridge. We just elected to utilize that experience as an opportunity to have a couple of discussions about growing up and what is responsible behavior.


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My now coach, former teammate was a senior in HS on a senior team comprised of mostly 10-13 year olds. I was 11 at the time. She tells me it was super awkward for the couple older girls bc they had to watch what they said, but for us younger ones it didn't seem weird at all because we were oblivious. We just saw them as peers but we were little kids to them... I bet they thought we were ridiculous...
You never know, she could be on as senior team made of mostly junior girls with a couple girls pushing them to senior, like I was. If just one girl is 15 it can push a team to senior that is mostly junior age. I'd say, make sure the coach knows you weren't trying to undermine their authority, but explain your concern about your CP being on an age appropriate team, because it's definitely a valid concern.


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[katstat1]

Our Sr4 team is made up of a wide range of ages, 11-17. I think the girls tend to just hang out with the others that are close to their age. I guess if she would be the only 10 year old it might be a little awkward, but I do think a lot of times the "big sis/little sis" does happen. I'm sure there are some good girls that would watch out for her.

 

[Keep_Believing]

Each situation is different, but my daughter was put on a senior team when she was 10. It ended up being a great experience. The older girls on her team treat her like a little sister. They are very positive, motivating, and encouraging with her.

 

[TheDivineCheerYaYaSecret]

My CP is 10 years old on a S3 team. They are a younger team but CP is the youngest. However there are more than just a handful of girls much closer to her age and they have become very good friends. The older girls really have the "big sis little sis" mentality and it just works well. The athletic mental maturity of the younger ones is a must because the senior team is going to be coached a bit different than a youth or junior team. Each situation is different as others have said. I would go ahead and find an opportunity to talk with the coach. I'm sure it is all good.

 

[BellaCheerMom]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I love FB and truly appreciate that I can get unbiased points of view/opinions from outside the small world of our own gym. Sometimes an outsider looking in can see things much clearer.

As it ended up the coach ended up calling me Friday night to apologize for snapping! I told here there was no reason to apologize and I was sorry too that she even thought I would question her decisions. My daughter has been at the gym since she was 4-years old and I would have left a long time ago if I doubted her. CP has mad tumbling skills because of her! Also, my husband had his "Come to Jesus" talk with me and said that I'm the only one that treats my daughter like she's going on 5 instead of 10. He's so right.
(I won't admit that to him though, I just told him I'd think about it. lol)

No more drama for me - except the fact that unfortunately one of the Mom's that overheard everything has turned it into drama for others. She has now started telling every other Mom that has a girl that's a flyer on the Senior 3 team that one of the girls is being replaced by my CP next year. Ugh, that's the stuff I hate.