Discussion in 'Allstar Cheerleading' started by Cheer Dad, Jul 28, 2014.
Most kids do their best at a comp because they WANT to. If they have to be motivated by fear or accountability or responsibility, then they probably shouldn't be on a cheer team.
In your gym atmosphere that may be true and if it works for your family that's great but every gym, athlete, and coach are different.
This is pretty standard language across the industry.
What makes your child tumble with good technique or fight for her stunt, or push through her dance with precison and performance while shes exhausted at practice? Because there are days when she doesn't 'want' to but she pushes though anyway. When her legs get weak, or throat gets dry, or she just had a melt down with her mom in the car right before she walked through the door and she throws on a smile and performs anyway.
Its not the lights, or the crowd its because she has a job to do and she knows she has to do her job for the greater good. Because she knows she is being accountable or responsible for her role. When her legs feel weak
Then why is it a witch trial when its actually being enforced.
It's a basic principle of human relations and has nothing to do with a particular gym, or even cheer leading. It is true of any human interaction, anyone who must hold the negative consequences for one individual up as an example to others in order to keep them within whatever rules are laid out does not have the respect of those he is trying to govern. He is ruling by fear, and that is never successful long term.
It is the way they chose to enforce it. It was unprofessional, and unnecessary.
Most people her haves said multiple times they have no problem with the rule. The problem is the way in which they chose to enforce it.
That's not fear or negative consequences those are the rules of her establishment that all parties who are apart of her gym signed and agreed to it was literally written in black and white from the get go.
That's not what this was about. You said you had no problem making an example out of a child to keep the others in line. You said that was accountability, responsibility, and transparency. I say its ruling by fear.
"Its not leading by fear its leading by accountability, and at times that may require making an example out of someone. "
I never said " to keep other in line" don't put words in my mouth. I said that kids are able to recognize patterns and what happens when they or a teammate stops doing their job. I don't threaten to replace kids I have transparency in my paperwork and in my conversations with kids and athletes. Simple cause an effect whether the effect is a team losing by .2, or an alternate being plugged in.
It's different words for the same thing. Using one kids negative consequences to control another's behavior. It's no way to teach,parent, or coach. Much better to have their respect by being fair, consistent, and respectful of them as people.
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Its baffling that you honestly don't believe that kids should be held accountable. The way this situation was handled was wrong and I have agreed to that multiple times during this conversation. At the end of the day CP was asked to do a skill that she had solid, for whatever reason CP is consistently unable to perform the skill, The parent who signs paperwork stating that if an athlete at some point loses a skill in time their spot is reconsidered everyone is bewildered. When I don't do something that I'm supposed to do wear a seat belt, pay my taxes on time, or leave early enough for work I understand that because of my actions I may be held accountable I don't blame everyone else, or make excuses for myself and I damn sure won't do it for my kids. BTW I don't believe the OP has done this but every scorned cheer mom on this forum seems to believe that is a normal procedure, maybe this is why the sport/country youth are suffering because they are never allowed to be held accountable.
We can all be mad at how it happened, but you can't be mad that it happened.
This isn't directed at you personally, but at any coach who believes this method is effective.
Constant fear of being replaced (whether unspoken or loudly advertised) can be a cause of failure. Kids can be so fearful of making a mistake that they freeze up and are unable to perform. I watched this firsthand with my own.
I have said multiple times I DON'T have a problem with kids being held accountable, or being replaced. Choosing to do so in a way that is counterproductive to both the individual child and the team is the issue here. Hold that child accountable, but don't use it as a scare tactic to keep the others in line, which you have said multiple times is a valid coaching strategy. Making an example of one child to keep others in line is counterproductive. Pulling a child in the middle of a competition just to make a point, which you also said you don't have an issue with, is counterproductive. Both are unprofessional and ultimately destructive to a team.
Belittling cheer moms who care about their kids doesn't strengthen your argument. It just shows me where it is coming from. Seems you resent them and their intrusion into "your' sphere of influence. They have aright to advocate for their kids when they are being mistreated. that is very different from making excuses for them. I have never spoken to a coach about my CP's spot in a routine, or when that has been changed or she has been pulled from a spot. That is their business as long as they handle it in a manner that is appropriate. I HAVE however spoken up about a coach who was verbally abusive to my CP when she thought only the kids could hear her. She is no longer employed with our gym.
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