All-Star Seriously?

[Keep_Believing]

Since this individual is admitting this, isn't there any recourse to be able to report this individual to welfare services that the money isn't being used for it's intended purpose?

Although' I don't agree with what she is doing, it is not illegal. She can spend her welfare money on cheer if she chooses to. Unfortunately, there are people who spend their welfare money on drugs. You can report that.

 

[Mamarazzi]

@mybabywantstotumble , did the mom say SHE is the one who foots the cheer bill? I know MANY cheer parents whose kids cheer, and are on Medicaid and other state assistance programs, but they work fundraising and booster club events, get sponsors, or Grandma & Grandpa/Aunts & Uncles, etc. pay for cheer. Just because she complained about the price of cheer doesn't mean it's because she's the one coming out of pocket with it. Also, does she receive unemployment benefits? If she's not paying for housing or food, the unemployment benefit may be going to cheer, in which case, who cares? She can use that money however she wants.
Further, @tucknduck , there are no means by which a state Department of Social Services has to investigate every claim of misuse of state funds. Plus, it's really far down on their list of things to do. Could it be reported? Sure. Probably won't do any good, though. They'll probably go after Crackhead Vivian before Idiot Susie's Mom.
Most states have put into place methods by which "welfare" money ( thought they typically don't call it welfare anymore) is actually NOT given directly to the recipient. There are housing vouchers, EBT cards (for food,) and vouchers for utilities. The states will rarely, if ever, send a check directly to someone,which they can cash and use inappropriately. Not saying it doesn't happen in some states, but they prefer not to hand funds directly to a recipient.
Do I think any child should cheer, without some type of sponsor, if the household has come upon tough times but still has to foot the bill? Nope. But I think there's probably more to this situation than meets the eye, as @ArizonaMVP said.

What concerns me more than what she said is the fact that she said it. She's new to your gym and is airing this type of highly personal info to (basically) a stranger. Yeah...um...that says more to me than anything.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

@mybabywantstotumble , did the mom say SHE is the one who foots the cheer bill? I know MANY cheer parents whose kids cheer, and are on Medicaid and other state assistance programs, but they work fundraising and booster club events, get sponsors, or Grandma & Grandpa/Aunts & Uncles, etc. pay for cheer. Just because she complained about the price of cheer doesn't mean it's because she's the one coming out of pocket with it. Also, does she receive unemployment benefits? If she's not paying for housing or food, the unemployment benefit may be going to cheer, in which case, who cares? She can use that money however she wants.
Further, @tucknduck , there are no means by which a state Department of Social Services has to investigate every claim of misuse of state funds. Plus, it's really far down on their list of things to do. Could it be reported? Sure. Probably won't do any good, though. They'll probably go after Crackhead Vivian before Idiot Susie's Mom.
Most states have put into place methods by which "welfare" money ( thought they typically don't call it welfare anymore) is actually NOT given directly to the recipient. There are housing vouchers, EBT cards (for food,) and vouchers for utilities. The states will rarely, if ever, send a check directly to someone,which they can cash and use inappropriately. Not saying it doesn't happen in some states, but they prefer not to hand funds directly to a recipient.
Do I think any child should cheer, without some type of sponsor, if the household has come upon tough times but still has to foot the bill? Nope. But I think there's probably more to this situation than meets the eye, as @ArizonaMVP said.

What concerns me more than what she said is the fact that she said it. She's new to your gym and is airing this type of highly personal info to (basically) a stranger. Yeah...um...that says more to me than anything.

Oh good. I can just get back to work now, since Mamarazzi said word for word what I was going to say. Since we are sharing a brain...you can see she has it today and will be posting thoughts for both of us.

I was going to say also that what @Kris said is very true as well - there is nothing illegal going on. Just because she gets food stamps and has a little money left over that a lot of people who don't get food stamps wouldn't have doesn't mean it's misuse of funds. Just means it's another example of Social Services having too much to do, and too little resources to check out whether or not people reeeeeally actually need the assistance they are receiving.

And again, the fact that she's sharing this info with you says a lot - a lot.

Do I think this is great? Would I be excited to sit with her and say things like "Yeah girl, you do you!" No, obviously not. But I don't know that there's much to do except sit somewhere else.

 

[Level5Mom]

Hahahaha crackhead Vivian :fro:

 

[mybabywantstotumble]

Mamarazzi you are absolutely right, i never thought that maybe someone else was covering cheer. thank you for making that point. she did mention that she didn't know how she was going to pay the june tuition and that she was going to try to pay it next week. i do have empathy for people whose kids want to do certain things and the parents can't afford it. and yes, she was actually sitting at the table next to me, talking about it with a full viewing area so it's not like she was whispering or confiding in me. this was our second practice. Just-a-Mom what do you guys think her intention was in sharing this info?

 

[cheermommaRN]

It sounds to me like she wants a pity party or a pat on the back for "sacrificing" so much for her child to cheer. I call it "Back of hand-to-Forehead" syndrome. It goes something like this:
"Oh whoa is me...I give up so much and travel so far...tell me what a wonderful mother I am for doing this..." and it usually involves the dramatic back of the hand to one's forehead and a sigh at some point.
Now for all we know maybe at one time she was married, stayed at home with her children and now is in this situation. Maybe having her cp in cheer is her way of trying to establish or keep some sense of normalcy in her child's life. But it is not something you would want to or should share to a room of people you just met.
Also getting a JOB should be her #1 priority, even if it means cheering at their old gym close to "home" so it can happen. Your kid can't go to Worlds if your homeless...just sayin....

 

[kristenthegreat]

I have heard other stories of people..'misusing' welfare checks for 'frivolous' things, usually at the expense of some family member (husband, children, etc) in order to live a lifestyle that doesn't match up with what they probably should be doing. Whether or not this is true (or just stories), I am not sure, as I am not an expert on the welfare system. That being said, IF a parent is scraping by but using welfare money for cheer for one child at the expense of their other children..that's not cool. It kinda ties back into the thread we had about parents nearly (or actually) losing their houses or going into debt trying to keep their kids in cheer. Some people don't have the best priorities..

 

[aquarider]

There's probably WAY more to this than any of us can imagine. It's weird that she would bring it up, especially to people she doesn't know very well. But still, you never know what could really be going on in her life. My CP only cheered last year due to the kindness of people at our gym, and friends and relatives. We were not new, it was her 4th year there, 3rd year on this team. I got ill and required major surgery and have been out of work for 4 months. This year she is not cheering due to me still being out of work and it saddens us ALL, but she is doing school cheer which is better than nothing - and might I add, not "free" as someone mentioned. However, the minimal amount she needs can be covered with a part-time job for her, and a sponsor. Do we miss allstars? Heck ya! But life throws you curveballs that you have no control over...

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

My experience is sometimes people will start spilling the beans quick if they know that there is a "difference" that would become quickly obvious, or if they think people will be talking about them for some reason. Maybe she was looking for some sort of validation to her situation? It's also possible that the situation that she is in is normal to her. I live in a rather poorer area of NC, but I am originally from MD. Things that are normal to a lot of people here (welfare) are not normal in other areas of the country, and there is no shame in their game down here regarding it because in their culture/social circle "everybody does it." I just try to keep telling myself that regardless of how a person may initially seem everybody has a story to their life that has shaped the person they are now. Unless we have lived their life through their eyes, it is incredibly difficult to get a true grasp on why they do the things they do. Stuff that seems obvious to you or I, sometimes people just cannot wrap their heads around why certain things aren't okay.

 

[xtremeteal4life]

 

[cupieqt]

I was doing a private lesson with a girl yesterday that couldn't afford to enroll in a tumbling class for a whole session (about $140 for 10 1 hour classes) and one of the coaches made a comment to me about her not being able to afford a tumbling class but could afford time with me ($50 for 30 min.---and I usually book them for a whole session not just one at a time). Once I explained that her grandma had offered to pay half of ONE lesson if she used her allowance to pay the other half, this person was then singing an entirely different tune. Sometimes stuff looks differently than you first thought after you have all the facts.
This situation doesn't sound good though....

 

[Deleted member 8658]

if i were the parent i think i would rather live then have my daughter cheer. well thats just me

 

[Num1Stunta]

so at practice this week a new mom and i are chatting and she is complaining how expensive cheer is. then proceeds to tell me over the 2 hour practice that she has other kids, lives in a room at a friends house, isn't working and is on food stamps and welfare. am i wrong to wonder what the heck she is thinking dishing out all this $ for cheer meanwhile she is on food stamps and welfare??? has anyone else encountered this at their gym? it doesn't seem like it's a "she fell on hard times recently" thing. but even if she did, should she really be letting her daughter do a sport that costs $250 a month???

I would almost guarantee you that child is on a scholarship, and the Mom feels the need to talk about it so no one will find out. Definitely seems like she's overcompensating.

Since this individual is admitting this, isn't there any recourse to be able to report this individual to welfare services that the money isn't being used for it's intended purpose?

Are you being serious? Because our government doesn't have enough on its plate lol...
If the poor woman is living in a room at a friend's house, she probably has a realtively small rent payment- maybe that's their sacrifice... who knows... I'd more irked if the kid came in with a brand new ipod and ugg boots on, at least cheer is a positive experience and could provide opportunities for the kid in her future. Personally, I think our sport (not school cheer) is amazing and everyone should have the opportunity to participate. A gym is a business, most businesses give back to the community in some way, so why is this any different? (if she is possibly on some form of scholarship)

@Mamarazzi has a point, she could be fundraising to cover her costs as well... So why "avoid" her like she has some kind of plague? She's a Mom just like you, she enjoys seeing her daughter enjoy all star cheer just like you, and your daughters are now teammates, which makes you connected. Who honestly doesn't have problems in their lives? SMH at those of you who jumped onto this welfare rant... most likely Republicans, which are most likely Christian... don't you all know the saying that ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE? So, be nice to this lady... it's not like you have to go over to her little room and enjoy a nightcap with her, but jeez don't avoid her.... This isn't 8th grade

 

[Alyssa Bell]

I have... But in this case she isn't paying for it, the child's aunt and uncle are paying for it because of mental issues that they mother has. The child's aunt works at the gym at the front desk to help pay for this child's tuition. I think that its amazing that the family has two children of there own and they are doing it to help the little girl cheer because she loves it so much and has made great friends!

 

[xtremeteal4life]

I would almost guarantee you that child is on a scholarship, and the Mom feels the need to talk about it so no one will find out. Definitely seems like she's overcompensating.

Are you being serious? Because our government doesn't have enough on its plate lol...
If the poor woman is living in a room at a friend's house, she probably has a realtively small rent payment- maybe that's their sacrifice... who knows... I'd more irked if the kid came in with a brand new ipod and ugg boots on, at least cheer is a positive experience and could provide opportunities for the kid in her future. Personally, I think our sport (not school cheer) is amazing and everyone should have the opportunity to participate. A gym is a business, most businesses give back to the community in some way, so why is this any different? (if she is possibly on some form of scholarship)

@Mamarazzi has a point, she could be fundraising to cover her costs as well... So why "avoid" her like she has some kind of plague? She's a Mom just like you, she enjoys seeing her daughter enjoy all star cheer just like you, and your daughters are now teammates, which makes you connected. Who honestly doesn't have problems in their lives? SMH at those of you who jumped onto this welfare rant... most likely Republicans, which are most likely Christian... don't you all know the saying that ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE? So, be nice to this lady... it's not like you have to go over to her little room and enjoy a nightcap with her, but jeez don't avoid her.... This isn't 8th grade