All-Star Seriously?

[Just-a-Mom]

*woe

But, for real, "Whoa" is that lady too...

LMAO...I had it that way and it just looked so wrong. So I changed it. And I'm a spelling nazi too...I'm so ashamed...

But she IS both...

 

[The Sixth]

because this is an anonymous forum. no one knows who i am, who she is, what gym our kids cheer at, what team our kids are on, what state i live in, etc. i think it is obvious that if i discussed this in the gym it would probably end up spreading like wildfire with people's different opinions and ultimately hurting the team once it trickled down to the kids.

i also think that by posting this on here, asking if anyone else has ever encountered this before, has enlightened me that there may be another side of this. such as -there is a possibility that someone else is paying for cheer. my first reaction was "wow, what the hell, they are on public asssitance and paying $250 a month for cheer. so my tax dollars are paying for her cp to cheer???".

You'd be surprised how "anonymous" this place can be. Are you banking on her being too poor to afford the Internet? Or that other folks who may have had this very same conversation with her, might not join if not already be a member here?

If the situation is as you perceive it, I certainly don't agree with it anymore than you or others here. And if some here might point out a different view of the situation, so be it. But to what end? You've already established that you don't want to make it your business one way or the other. If you were looking for opinions on how to narc her out because you're super offended, that'd be different.

 

[Level5Mom]

crap, i have to go and get my kid a pair of uggs now?

Haha no of course not . It was a hypothetical example.

 

[garretttt]

her daughter doesnt need to be cheering if she is on welfare and food stamps.

 

[Num1Stunta]

@Num1Stunta - you KNOW I love you. But first off, no, I'm not Republican. Second, even if I was ... it's a little hypocritical to say "SMH...probably republican...this isn't 8th grade..." and then say "I don't know I guess I'm just an accepting person." Not accepting of the republicans on the welfare rant though. I also have friends that run the same gamut as yours... but if you're saying you don't care what someone does with their personal life, shouldn't that extend to their politics?

I'm sorry, I realize that wasn't worded properly... I meant "this isn't 8th grade" specifically pertaining to the act of avoiding/ignoring someone you don't like. As I mentioned, I have friends in all circles and I certainly don't avoid people (Republicans ) simply if I disagree with their idealogies. I DISAGREE with republicans on basically everything, but that doesn't mean I don't accept them... make sense?

[quote="Just-a-Mom, post: 387841
I am on the "welfare rant" because I know way more people that are abusing the system than using it correctly. I don't care how liberal you are - you can't tell me the system doesn't need a lot of work. And I've seen sooooooo many people who a receiving benefits that don't need them. As for a family member paying for cheer? That doesn't make it any better in my book. Why is your family member willing to pay for cheer for your kid...but not FOOD??? Talk about whacked out priorities...

Sorry, but I could go on the "welfare rant" for DAYS. And it's all from personal experience, not what I see from the media.
.[/quote]

Yes, I have to agree with you there... it's an 80 year old system that hasn't evolved much. I do agree that people take advantage of it, but it's not as much as you think. My father is a homicide investigator in Newark, NJ- which I believe is number 2 in the country for homicide rates (don't quote me on it). He plays the "personal experience card" when we have this discussion, stating that everyone he comes into contact with on his job that is on welfare is taking advantage of the system.. I have to remind him that, statistically, the majority of welfare recipients are located in white, rural areas (such as Appalachia), where the type of poverty is much different. In a rural setting, you have a serious lack of jobs and no public transportation for those who cannot afford a motor vehicle. I have to remind my father that urban poverty is a different thing, and that what he sees is not an accurate microcosm of the welfare population.

Don't get me started on the irony that there is more of a need for welfare in those "red states" because there is such a lack of government funding on education, jobs, and infrastructure lol

All in all, I don't see it as an ethics issue. It's a VERY small percentage of our taxes (3% ish?), and the whole purpose of paying taxes is so the government has money to provide us with various services that will ultimately enhance our lives. Our country has an issue with using our tax dollars in silly ways, and they ultimately don't help us very much. If I lived in Germany, and was paying 10% more in taxes every year, my taxes would be working for me- affordable college, healthcare, adequate public transport, etc. JMO

 

[cupieqt]

Wow! First, all of my favorite people are commenting so YAY!

I am very suspicous of the new mom and that whole situation and I'm so glad you asked the question, @mybabywantstotumble

I am really enjoying reading all of the posts and trying to decide how I really feel about this one. I can see it from many angles and I definitely have an opinion for each. I'd love to spend some time quoting all of you and expanding but then I'd have to write a book and I think you've all hit the nails pretty squarely, plus I am just too tired after 12 hours at the gym so here's my two cents (not the governments or anyone else's for that matter )....

If someone struggles to pay for cheer b/c they are a single mom and they're having car problems and they're payment for June may be a couple of weeks late, but they're a regularly paying customer that we have known for a while...well, they're ok with us and we will work with them up to a point. But if someone comes into our gym looking for charity cheerleading, they're SOL. We won't scholarship kids if they can't prove need with financial records and only then after they've signed a commitment contract assuming the responsibility of paying for whatever can't be covered.
Jeff Metzger, the owner of Kids First in Cincinnatti, once told us at Boot Camp that he would give full scholarships to people that claimed poverty and then discovered some of these people lived in bigger houses, drove nicer cars and had significantly more annual income than he did--and he had no trouble paying full price for his own children. That's insane!! We require proof of financial need in order to qualify for a limited scholarship--no free rides here at all. And I really think that's how it should be. I wish everyone could cheer for free and go to the waterpark for free and get free stuff but that's just not reality. All-star cheer is a luxury hobby, just like tournament baseball teams and team gymnastics. These kids train their BUTTS off and we all work really hard but in the end, no one is missing out on a fulfilling life if they don't participate. So for me to see other people having to pony up the extra to cover someone else's bill in an elective activity just really ticks me off. And to deny your family a FULFILLING life just so one member can enjoy themselves is beyond disgusting because they are choosing an activity over their own well being and the emotional health of their family.
Like I said, I can see it from all angles, and I totally understand that we don't have all the facts--which is why I posted what I did earlier--but the comments she made and my "blink" instinct told me a lot. She would very likely not be a member of our gym for long.

 

[armycheermom]

I have read every respond and have really thought about this topic,so I think I am ready to respond!
Ok, here is my 2 cents.
I've always told my daughter how others spend their money is none of our business. If I want to spend my money on cheer, I can rightful do it, just like you can spend yours on the new iPhone. The only time I would-be involve in how someone else is spending their money,is when they come to me for a handout. Every month, the government takes money out of our paychecks to help people who have fallen on hard times, but she hasn't fallen on hard times, she is abusing the system. She is looking for a pat on the back for "sacrificing" so much for her cp, when in all actually, she isn't sacrificing anything. She is allowing others to pay her bills, so she can pay for cheer and it seems like she has no problems with it. And as much as I love watching my cp cheer, I much prefer making sure we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies. Personally, I would avoid her. Her values aren't the type of vaules I am teaching my cp. I would much rather talk to the person who is giving up getting their hair done every month, to give their child, something they never had, then a person abusing the system...

 

[ArizonaMVP]

I have read every respond and have really thought about this topic,so I think I am ready to respond!
Ok, here is my 2 cents.
I've always told my daughter how others spend their money is none of our business. If I want to spend my money on cheer, I can rightful do it, just like you can spend yours on the new iPhone. The only time I would-be involve in how someone else is spending their money,is when they come to me for a handout. Every month, the government takes money out of our paychecks to help people who have fallen on hard times, but she hasn't fallen on hard times, she is abusing the system. She is looking for a pat on the back for "sacrificing" so much for her cp, when in all actually, she isn't sacrificing anything. She is allowing others to pay her bills, so she can pay for cheer and it seems like she has no problems with it. And as much as I love watching my cp cheer, I much prefer making sure we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies. Personally, I would avoid her. Her values aren't the type of vaules I am teaching my cp. I would much rather talk to the person who is giving up getting their hair done every month, to give their child, something they never had, then a person abusing the system...

I just hate judging people without knowing their situation. She hasn't fallen on hard times??? She is living in a borrowed room with her kids. In my book, that sounds rough. And perhaps the $250 she has leftover (which isn't enough for a place of their own) provides some sort of normalcy that is much needed for her daughter for whatever reason. We don't know what this family is going through, or what stuff brought her to this point. Why must we assume she is abusing the system? I am not saying she isn't, I would just prefer to think the best of people without knowing differently.

Perhaps she got divorced (or Dad died), and her daughter was slipping into a depression and she worried about her becoming suicidal or turning to drugs. So friends offered to let them stay in their room just so that she could use the small amount they have left to give the girl that normalcy for her confidence. A stretch? Perhaps. But that's the point. We don't know.

Isn't everything just relative?

Could an argument be made that you (meaning, MOST of us) should be putting more money aside for retirement rather than "wasting" so much money on something silly like cheer? Won't MY tax dollars be paying for YOU down the road because you are ill prepared to live comfortably when you are older. I'm only looking at your status: "private cheer lessons + ipad 2=broke! My cp better take care of us when we're old!"

That being said, I spend way too much for cheer, and have almost nothing saved for retirment, so maybe someone else can pay for both of us 40 years from now. I may very well look back and wonder what that extra $300 a month could have done in a mutual fund.

Not getting personal, I promise you. I just think we need to support each other more. Glass houses, you know?

 

[BuegeSmalls]

There is this one girl on my team who doesn't have too much money and she's always complaining about how her parents are "spending her college money on groceries" ( but actually her parents havent even put money away for her- her mom told my mom that a while ago) and then she gets signed up for tumbling class ($120) and how her mom wants to sign her up for private lessons ($60 a lesson). I just don't understand why she needs these extra things when they can't afford food & stuff. And they also buy her expensive clothes when she wants it and stuff.

 

[Seeker30]

:chillpill:

 

[ShallowPoms]

so at practice this week a new mom and i are chatting and she is complaining how expensive cheer is. then proceeds to tell me over the 2 hour practice that she has other kids, lives in a room at a friends house, isn't working and is on food stamps and welfare. am i wrong to wonder what the heck she is thinking dishing out all this $ for cheer meanwhile she is on food stamps and welfare??? has anyone else encountered this at their gym? it doesn't seem like it's a "she fell on hard times recently" thing. but even if she did, should she really be letting her daughter do a sport that costs $250 a month???

quick question is this something that the cp really wants to do or is it something her mother wants her to do?

 

[newcheerdad]

I saw this thread on my mobile when I was on vacation, but wanted to wait until I was back home to craft a response.

When I was a kid, there was a time when my family qualified for government assistance. Yet during that time I continued to play competitive travel soccer, in part because of the generosity of my club, in part because my parents scrimped and saved what little extra money they had to keep me in the program.

If you've never been poor, you don't understand. I've rarely met someone who likes being on welfare or getting food stamps. But if I were to listen to some of the people on this thread, I shouldn't have been playing, and it was irresponsible of my parents to spend that extra money on soccer. Maybe there were people who thought that back when I was playing, but my parents did a good job of insulating me from it.

You know what? Soccer was the one thing that kept me on the straight and narrow, when I could've easily fallen in with a bad crowd. (easy to do in my neighborhood) It was a big part of the reason I went to college. And because I have a college degree and a good job, I'm able to provide for my kids in a way that my parents struggled to.

I will never say, in a million years, that spending money to put your child in a beneficial youth sport or activity is a bad thing. There are far worse things to be spending money on.

 

[Num1Stunta]

I just hate judging people without knowing their situation. She hasn't fallen on hard times??? She is living in a borrowed room with her kids. In my book, that sounds rough. And perhaps the $250 she has leftover (which isn't enough for a place of their own) provides some sort of normalcy that is much needed for her daughter for whatever reason. We don't know what this family is going through, or what stuff brought her to this point. Why must we assume she is abusing the system? I am not saying she isn't, I would just prefer to think the best of people without knowing differently.

Perhaps she got divorced (or Dad died), and her daughter was slipping into a depression and she worried about her becoming suicidal or turning to drugs. So friends offered to let them stay in their room just so that she could use the small amount they have left to give the girl that normalcy for her confidence. A stretch? Perhaps. But that's the point. We don't know.

Isn't everything just relative?

Could an argument be made that you (meaning, MOST of us) should be putting more money aside for retirement rather than "wasting" so much money on something silly like cheer? Won't MY tax dollars be paying for YOU down the road because you are ill prepared to live comfortably when you are older. I'm only looking at your status: "private cheer lessons + ipad 2=broke! My cp better take care of us when we're old!"

That being said, I spend way too much for cheer, and have almost nothing saved for retirment, so maybe someone else can pay for both of us 40 years from now. I may very well look back and wonder what that extra $300 a month could have done in a mutual fund.

Not getting personal, I promise you. I just think we need to support each other more. Glass houses, you know?

I saw this thread on my mobile when I was on vacation, but wanted to wait until I was back home to craft a response.

When I was a kid, there was a time when my family qualified for government assistance. Yet during that time I continued to play competitive travel soccer, in part because of the generosity of my club, in part because my parents scrimped and saved what little extra money they had to keep me in the program.

If you've never been poor, you don't understand. I've rarely met someone who likes being on welfare or getting food stamps. But if I were to listen to some of the people on this thread, I shouldn't have been playing, and it was irresponsible of my parents to spend that extra money on soccer. Maybe there were people who thought that back when I was playing, but my parents did a good job of insulating me from it.

You know what? Soccer was the one thing that kept me on the straight and narrow, when I could've easily fallen in with a bad crowd. (easy to do in my neighborhood) It was a big part of the reason I went to college. And because I have a college degree and a good job, I'm able to provide for my kids in a way that my parents struggled to.

I will never say, in a million years, that spending money to put your child in a beneficial youth sport or activity is a bad thing. There are far worse things to be spending money on.

Shimmy, Shimmy, Shimmy! Exactly what I was trying to get at, but you've both done it much better

And to the person who mentioned "pursuit of happiness"... you must be living in a lovely sugar-coated world with fairies and unicorns and rainbows... this country doesn't even come close to providing equal opportunities in that department

 

[cheerfan27]

because this is an anonymous forum. no one knows who i am, who she is, what gym our kids cheer at, what team our kids are on, what state i live in, etc. i think it is obvious that if i discussed this in the gym it would probably end up spreading like wildfire with people's different opinions and ultimately hurting the team once it trickled down to the kids.

i also think that by posting this on here, asking if anyone else has ever encountered this before, has enlightened me that there may be another side of this. such as -there is a possibility that someone else is paying for cheer. my first reaction was "wow, what the hell, they are on public asssitance and paying $250 a month for cheer. so my tax dollars are paying for her cp to cheer???".

People put 2 and 2 together pretty quickly so it may be hard to stay anonymous. Usually if I want to vent I pick someone not in cheer, like my sister-in-law in another state with 2 boys. Just saying.

 

[cupieqt]

People put 2 and 2 together pretty quickly so it may be hard to stay anonymous. Usually if I want to vent I pick someone not in cheer, like my sister-in-law in another state with 2 boys. Just saying.

I guess she should be prepared for the consequences of posting it online b/c we all know nothing online is private and anonymity is even more difficult to acheive. I am still glad she posted the situation b/c it has made for some extremely stimulating conversation. I have enjoyed reading everyones opinions and experiences on this thread more than any other.