High School Setting Good Examples

[cheysmomager]

When my daughter was 4, she thought the high school cheerleaders were Gods!! She really looked up to them and wanted to become on someday. When she was old enough to get a Facebook, she tried to friend as many as she could (yes I monitored!!).

When she became a 7th grade cheerleader, I reminded her how she looked up to cheerleaders when she was young. I told her she was now someone little girls would look up to and be like. I was (and still am) very strick with what she puts on any social media.

This year, her freshman year, she became a varsity cheerleader. I assumed that the high school would have similar social media policies as I do. This is a very small town so even if the kids don't have social media, they will know most of the HS cheerleaders and athletes.

Well guess NOT!! I was shocked as other cheerleaders posted Instagram pics of them drinking, used foul and vulgar language on twitter, and so on!!

I had a talk with the sponser, stating NICELY that these girls were role models and it really didn't look good. She seemed to agree with me (this was her first year), but appearently told a couple of the girls what I said. Really started my daughters freshman year.

When I later confronted the principal about everything she told me "we can't control what kids post when they are out of school."

ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I know all star gyms that have strict rules about posting on social media. I've heard of all star coaches that 'police' all social media and you can't control a high school with less than 400 students!!!

Am I that dumb to believe this can be done?? Does your school have social media rules?? Do they enforce them??

Sorry I'm ranting!!

 

[courtney_briann97]

When I first got a facebook, my Mom was like that. She demanded I friend her, & wanted to discuss every single thing I posted. It got to be so much so I made another Facebook under a fake name & blocked her. Needless to say, without any parental supervision, I got in a lot of trouble online. I regret doing it, but there is a difference between hovering & monitoring. Please remember that.
As for the school, I used to go to a school where there were 50 people in my grade & about 250 overall. The administration was amazing & they tried to help out with every problem but honestly, let's think about it. If they tried to "police" students, what are they going to do? They're not at school, they're at home. It's not the schools job to tell them what they can & cant post in the privacy of their own homes. It'd be different if they were threating other people.
The pictures of them drinking? The school can't do anything.
Foul Language? It's not illegal.
My point is it's not their job to police what goes on outside the doors.
The most a school could do is kick them off the cheerleading squad & cheer being a team sport more people would be affected than not.
Honestly, my advice is to leave it alone. Your kid is doing good & she's all you should be worrying about. Your actions are affecting your daughter in a way I'm sure she doesn't want. Let the kids parents deal with them.

 

[cheernerd5678]

administration was amazing & they tried to help out with every problem but honestly, let's think about it. If they tried to "police" students, what are they going to do? They're not at school, they're at home. It's not the schools job to tell them what they can & cant post in the privacy of their own homes. It'd be different if they were threating other people.
The pictures of them drinking? The school can't do anything.
Foul Language? It's not illegal.
My point is it's not their job to police what goes on outside the doors.
.

I think for the general student body, this is true. BUT. the cheerleaders, football players, etc are representing the school. They should be held to a certain standar. Our coach has a social media policy, and if she sees us posting things she thinks could be inappropriate, she tells us to take them down and if its bad enough, she suspends us. Even things not on social media she can suspend us for if its making the squad look bad (sending pics to guys, etc). I think you should talk to the coach about getting something like this put in place! We had to sign a contract when we tried out that said we understood all the rules. It helps with our squad reputation and keeps us responsible. And if there are pictures of them drinking, they could get arrested so I'm surprised nobody has told them to take it down or not to do that! Anyway, people know these girls are cheerleaders, even when they aren't in uniform, so they're representing the squad and could give it a bad reputation. I think you should definitely suggest a policy to the coach so that then there are no questions about "you didn't tell us" or "this is unfair" because they signed something and they knew the rules!

 

[cheysmomager]

I think for the general student body, this is true. BUT. the cheerleaders, football players, etc are representing the school. They should be held to a certain standard.

I am only talking about the cheerleaders, FB players, ect. Our town sounds the same size as that young lady's. It was less than 8 years ago that the elementary, middle, and high schools were all on the same campus!! Even though the high school moved away, I guarentee you at least 75% of the elementary kids know the cheerleaders and the star players.

My daughter has too much to lose to try to get sneaky. Not saying she won't but she knows no more cheer (at all), iPhone, computer, kindle, and if I'm in a really bad mood, I may even take away her dog (hahah). I don't play, and she KNOWS it!! Besides, in a small town like this she would be stupid to try it!! This town is full of jealousy, gossipers, and backstabers. More than likely I would find out before the last bell rang for the day.

I do understand where your coming from, and I'm no fool. Just because she will loose everything she treasures doesn't mean she WON'T. I just pray she doesn't do anything that will really mess things up for her!!

Thank you both for your input!

 

[MHSCheercoach]

As a coach, If i seen pictures on Twitter or Facebook of my cheerleaders drinking I would turn them into the school and yes our school will act upon their behavior. What I keep reminding them is if you don't want EVERYONE to know then don't say it or put it out there to be seen. I coach in a very small town, high school has less than 100 kids in it, and word travels fast. I punished two girls over the summer for threatening harm to another person even though they did not mention the person's name. They said they were joking but I told them I didn't care, it was inappropriate and it sets a bad example. If the coach and school is not going to do anything about it then there's not much else you can do except remind your daughter that you hold her to a higher standard than others. Good luck.

 

[INeverStopCheering]

Our school has actually suspended people for posting objectionable content on social media so it is possible

 

[WHOA tiger]

The coach needs to lay out specific social media policies at the BEGINNING of the year, that way cheerleaders know from the get go what is expected of them. This way, they can't just throw on new policies out in the middle of the season, and the cheerleaders won't be in for any surprises when caught. Social media is such a new and ever-changing topic, it is going to take a while before schools know exactly how to handle situations like this.

 

[Tosh]

Wow! Absolutely unacceptable. As a parent I did the FB monitoring, etc. My 14 yr old is begging for FB and instagram, the answer is still no. I have coached for 12 years at rec and MS level and our girls view out HS cheerleaders the same way your daughter did. Infact, my 17 yr old is now a senior on the HS vasity team (4 years) and this was her account, and she actually got in trouble with her coach for participating in THIS forum......they are allowed FB, but they are all friends with each other, other parents and the coaches, anything questionable gets posted, and they stand the chance of being asked to leave the squad.....

So social media can be monitored. Maybe the school can not do anything about it, but the coaches have that ability and should definitely use it. I am aware of other top HS squads with this type of behavior and I must say, they are viewed in a completely different light when things like this appear on the social medias.......

To all the young ladies out there that think posting pictures of drinking, half naked, and foul language is cool, think about your future. Please do not end up at a college tryout and be "that girl" that everyone knows from such-and-such program/school who had the pictures on FB, etc. It will come back to bite you in the butt.....IT IS NOT COOL!

 

[catlady]

Our school has a Code of Conduct specifically for the kids involved in high profile sports, however, it takes a coach/administration that is willing to put the child's welfare above the sport. It's sad but, many are willing to turn a blind eye to keep their star athletes. Tosh I love the fact your school takes a no nonsense approach. Kids will always rise to the expectations that are required of them, as long as, the adults are doing their job and enforcing the rules.

 

[Keep_Believing]

There is a long thread about inappropraite facebook and twitter post in the all star cheer section. It seems like many high schools (including large high schools) monitor facebook/social media for cheerleaders.

 

[xomckenzieee]

You got suspended from sports at my high school if you got a picture of you drinking or doing drugs surfaced... I'm not going to sit here and say I didn't do it... it's high school, kids are going to do dumb stuff but I knew enough not to broadcast it to the whole world on the internet.

 

[Tosh]

You got suspended from sports at my high school if you got a picture of you drinking or doing drugs surfaced... I'm not going to sit here and say I didn't do it... it's high school, kids are going to do dumb stuff but I knew enough not to broadcast it to the whole world on the internet.

I completely agree with you. Kids will be kids and do dumb stuff, that's why adults need to be adults and try to guide them in the right direction. this includes parents, school officials, and coaches. Kids may not see their actions as dumb, but as adults, we have all been there and know that dumb things done as teenagers, can and will come back to haunt you in your future. So we have to try to guide them as best as we can.
Turning a blind eye is not optional.
Also, we have to think that when these "dumb things" involve "school" programs, it adversely affects the reputation of the entire program, not just that one kid, so we owe the greater responsibility of protecting the "program".

 

[Deleted member 4831]

My girls have to sign an agreement at the beginning of the season saying they understand that things like that are not to be put on Facebook/social media and that if there is something there than there will be consequences. I always have a big talk with them about how that stuff is out there forever and can effect their career or college choices. Luckily I haven't had to follow through with my threats but the previous coach kicked girls off the team and pulled the team from competitions.

 

[cheysmomager]

I have to say, I am very impressed with the responses on this thread from the kids still in school. You all talk about watching what you post and setting a good example. Yet not a single one of you complained!! I am sure that your parents and coaches are very proud of you!!

:kiss:

 

[mollymags]

I went to a HUGE high school with about 800 kids in my graduating class. I graduated in 2007 so social media was pretty prevalent but not as much as it is now. Even with that many kids, though, the students that participated in athletics had their facebooks, myspace, etc monitored and would get in trouble for posting pictures where they were blatantly drinking or doing drugs (holding beer cans, etc). I never participated in athletics at my school, but I also didn't drink until I was out of high school, so I never had to worry about this. I don't think it's unreasonable by any means. You are representing your school and your program and when you post pictures of yourself with a beer you're proving that you're doing something illegal... I don't think it's out of line for them to punish you for that. Set a good example.

Even when I cheered in college, we were told that we were not allowed to go out in our uniforms, jackets, or anything that said we were a cheerleader. If we posted pictures of us at parties or bars in our uniforms, we were busted... even more if we were holding a drink or anything. This stood even for the girls that were 21+. We were ambassadors for our school and our behavior was held to a high standard.