All-Star So Now That The Season's Over, What Is The Big Deal With Changing Gyms?

[iCheer4G]

All I can say is that when I left my old gym that I had been with for a long time I left a few weeks after tryouts (there was a reason that was not our families fault but I would rather not get in to that right now.) We wrote a letter basically saying that we would not be back, but we didn't say that I was going to another gym. After that some people from the old gym... well lets just say they had some issues that were voiced over Facebook and Formspring. To make a long story short I basically try to avoid anything to do with them. I'm not trying to say anything bad about that gym or cause any drama, I just wanted to share a little bit of my story.

 

[ellen495]

I told the truth...made the gym owners and coach aware and first to know... Was told it was a good thing for my girls because one of our coaches cheered at the gym I was going to and yet... Me and my family got trashed b the old gym...so sometimes the truth doesn't work either.....prolly why people lie...but I didn't and I am soooo happy where we are now))

AGREED! We told the truth. It didn't help. They disagreed with our reasons for leaving - but they were OUR reasons. We wanted to practice more and we didn't want to go to multiple competitions where we have no competition.

 

[spiritfingers11]

Sometimes you get attached to a gym (meaning, gain lots of “friends" and a more "family like" atmosphere is created over the years) Then when you leave for a legitimate reason, you become hated, and a “traitor” even when you have done nothing wrong, you haven’t bashed that gyms' name or any of that shenanigans. Sometimes it feels like you were just paying for your friendship...

 

[lakerfantlc]

Sometimes you get attached to a gym (meaning, gain lots of “friends" and a more "family like" atmosphere is created over the years) Then when you leave for a legitimate reason, you become hated, and a “traitor” even when you have done nothing wrong, you haven’t bashed that gyms' name or any of that shenanigans. Sometimes it feels like you were just paying for your friendship...

or what you thought were friends....were not....your gain...

 

[spiritfingers11]

or what you thought were friends....were not....your gain...

Yes! Exactly, that is why I put quotations around the “friends”. It really takes a good step back to realize how fake peopleactually are! I was so sad about leaving, but now looking back at everything that has happened, I have definitely made the correct choice

 

[shadow]

Funny, the owner told me I had caused my daughter to "lose a lot of friends" by letting her leave. When she said that all I could think was, guess they weren't that great of a friend in the first place.

 

[lakerfantlc]

Funny, the owner told me I had caused my daughter to "lose a lot of friends" by letting her leave. When she said that all I could think was, guess they weren't that great of a friend in the first place.

It astonishes me what comes out of the powers that be...the best one was when the cheer director told me after an out of control Worlds trip (athletes partying...no supervision etc) " I guess we need to start treating Worlds like work and not a vacation"....crazy what they say sometimes...

 

[cheer97]

or what you thought were friends....were not....your gain...

So true! we were so nervous to move to a new bigger gym, and we have made so many good family friends at our gym, our switch was the best move for us.

 

[XoxLibertyallstarsxox]

We're friends with a couple of parents who left our gym this year to go to another cheer program in town. We certainly haven't "defriended" them, nor do we plan to. I think that part of it is beyond silly.

I strongly believe that how you treat parents and kids when they've decided to leave is almost as important as how you treat them when they're a part of your organization. If you treat them well, with kindness and respect, they're far less likely to badmouth your program and more likely to come back someday.

Agreed.
A couple of girls I used to cheer with switched gyms but when I see them at competitions I still tell them good job and they do the same.

 

[cheeringfor3]

I don't have a problem with people who leave at the end of the season, who are honest (as you were), and tell the gym they are leaving.

I do have a problem, however, with parents who take their kids to tryouts at another gym, start practicing at that gym, and then still come to tryouts at their old gym "just to see where they will be placed" -- without informing the management that they have already joined another team. It is unfair to the coaches, who spend hours building teams and trying to get the right mix of kids, and to the other kids. Because when that kid leaves (as of course, she ultimately will...hasn't she already made up her mind?), the team is left without someone they were counting on to fill a certain position.

I know a lot of people who have left our gym on good terms. I always cheer those kids on when we see them at competitions...and if someone doesn't, as you said, they were not true friends to begin with.

But I don't like liars.

 

[cheergirlbrey]

There are some folks who have to feed the need for drama. I so hate this time of the year when one season ends and another begins. I know the following cheer drama is coming:

a. Who's leaving and who's staying?
b. so n so went to (rival gym)
c. If my cp is put on a level_ again, where leaving.
d. If my cp is not a flyer, (granted child lacks any flying skills and parent is not willing to take stunt lessons, parent feels her child should fly because she is 4"7 and weights 65lbs)

My cp has cheered for 6 years in all-star and I have seen folks come and go and I still dont understand why folks get so nasty about a family leaving one gym for the next. I do understand how owner & coaches can be upset when a family leaves and goes to rival gym in the same town. But when a family makes a decision to leave one program for another and its a valid reason.

(Not because they feel their cp should be on a level 5 team or point at jumps & dance or have the last tumbling pass and the new gym promised her all this if they leave gym A) It should be respected.

I have always respected their decision, although I miss them. As said if you were friends while at the same gym, your friendship should not stop because your not part of the same program anymore. I just hate when families leave a program and go to a rival program and when you see them at a comp in the future they are now trashing your gym. I have always said, if you decide to leave and explore other programs its your perogative, just dont feel like you have to continue to validate your decision every time we see each other.

You have just summed up my life and feelings right now! Im over explaining....hello people, u complain about the same stuff, your just not at the move on place yet but sorry I am.

 

[KRECCheer]

I have a feeling that small gyms are most guilty of being hurt or felt betrayed by someone leaving....

 

[tumbleyoda]

I have a feeling that small gyms are most guilty of being hurt or felt betrayed by someone leaving....

It is harder for a small gym to absorb the loss of a few athletes than a large gym. They dont have the numbers to be able to sustain those losses every year. That may have something to do with it. Especially when they feel like they have done nothing to warrant it.

A lot of times the superstar athlete in a small gym may only be an average athlete in a larger, mega or powerhouse gym. So even though it is only one person, the role they play within the small gym is vastly different.If they leave they usually pull kids with them, intentionally or unintentionally. I know it is always said that kids dont leave where they are happy but many times they didn't know they were unhappy until somebody from the new gym suggested that they were unhappy. Also many small gyms are trying to build their program up - mayble not to be a powerhouse, but to add teams, higher levels, and be more competitive. It is more difficult that when they may think they are finally ready to take that next step - whatever it may be for them - those kids they are counting on leave to go to another program.

You have owners that have extended credit to customers not because of the business but because they cared about the athlete/family and then they walk away with little or no explanation. When they leave with bills unpaid and sometimes without even a thank you for allowing my child to cheer relatively free for the past few years yet can immediatley start paying tuition, buying uniforms at the new gym of course they are upset. They feel they have been used. Now of course since we are in tryout season it becomes whch gym will place me on a higher level team - regardless to whether I I truly have the skill right now or no guarentees I will have the skill by the start of the season to be on that team.

None of this excuses bad behavior on the part of gyms when they lose athletes. These are just some things I have seen and heard. My thing has always been to be upfront about it. If you are leaving let's hear it directly from you; not on social media, not via another teammate, not from you not showing up and you not answering the phone and then someone else says you have switched gyms. Don't play one program against another. If you want to go, please go just go quickly and in the right manner. This is what burns most gyms owners up regardless of size.

 

[KRECCheer]

A lot of times the superstar athlete in a small gym may only be an average athlete in a larger, mega or powerhouse gym. .

You have hit the nail on the head with this one.

 

[cheermom96]

My cp and I are having the same issues. We changed gyms and it's the caoch we have the biggest problem with. She runs her mouth to all the other cheer moms, speculates. and even starts the rumors. She also has a way at intimidating her cheerleaders into saying and responding a certain way to my cp. Of course I saw this response to others which is one of the many reasons we are no longer there. GOOD LUCK!! Some women never fully mature from highschool