Sot Bullying

[Tuan Nguyen]

 

[cheermommaRN]

Cant see it?

 

[Tuan Nguyen]

Cant see it?

 

[cheermommaRN]

I think because your new the ability to post pics is off...@King

 

[mstealtoyou]

Watching this thread......

 

[Tuan Nguyen]

Cant see it?

My Take on Bullying,

Over the years, I have witnessed harsh words being said between athletes and coaches (athletes who are still minors minds you and in some cases as young as 7 years old), which is 100% NOT ACCEPTABLE in any circumstance. Sometimes it is a dual clash of personalities or frustration, while other times it appeared to be more. No one has the right victimize someone else and it does not matter what the reason is! If it has something to do with how a performance went, cheer practices, or anything team related, it should be up to the coaches to to handle whatever the situation correctly. I understand owners of the gyms are not babysitters and may not be aware of everything going on with their coaches and athletes. For this reason, I do not see anything wrong with an athlete asking to speak to a coach in private to discuss a potential problem and for the coach to speak with an athlete in PRIVATE instead of calling them out in front of everyone to belittle them and bully them into performing a certain stunt or pass the Coach expects from them.

Unfortunately, bully in the gym is not limited to athletes bullying each other or coaches bullying athletes. Sometimes the parents are worse then the children. We all know not everyone is going to get along or be lifetime friends, and that is ok. However, the gossip, nasty comments, and all out lies are sometimes so severe it can cause athletes to be pulled from the program by their parents. I do not understand why adults cannot be kind and civil towards each other when in the cheer environment? We have to remember that the kids are watching how the coaches and adults act and tend to feed off of it. I feel if they see how the coaches act in a positive manner, they will as well.
Only we have the power to stop the bullying between children and adults. Too many children have ended their lives because of this and it is up to us to set a positive example and also step up if we know a child is being bullied. Even if our own child is being the bully. Please make the right choices with how you act towards and talk to others. Together we can make a difference.

 

[mstealtoyou]

I'm sorry, I'm confused. Is your child being bullied because she left SOT or did you leave because she was being bullied by SOT? And accusing people of bullying is a huge accusation.

 

[Tuan Nguyen]

My child has left SOT after 3 years of competing. Keep in mind she is 9 years old now. She was fortunate to obtain 2 NCA jackets with two different teams. The owners of the gym are good guys however there is a major disconnect with their team coaches on technique how to encourage and push these young athletes. For example, my daughter is a flyer, has great jumps and dance but the past 18 months she has been dealing with mental block on tumbling that I have hired sports therapist to help along with privates at the gym to help her. She made vast improvements this year in getting her tumbling back. 6 weeks straight of her beautiful tumbling. My daughter had a bad day of team practice one day and sucked it up as a bad day. Two days later at team practice she pulled all her tumbling after 1st full out. On the second full out attempt she pulled a ro1 but not 2. Coach walks up to her and says out loud "Katie why am I not surprised" laughs in her face and walks off. 3rd full out attempt same coach comes up to her don't tumble do a front walkover now. She does it and he says "that wasn't hard" laughs at her again and walks off.

Then tells the whole team if they lose any comp this year you guys don't wanna see us. Anyone mess up a stunt or tumble pass don't come talk to us. We're talking about Youth Jr.2 kids. Not a Worlds Team!

Bullying comes in many packages. Physical and mental! How does a grown man or woman feel good about talking down, belittling a 9 year old or any age and call themselves a coach.

 

[mstealtoyou]

I think we can all empathize with a parent who feel's like the adult's in charge of their sport isn't acting and treating their athletes with the respect they deserve. I get what you're saying.........but don't you think you'd rather speak to the owner's and have a meeting so perhaps this can be resolved? You said you've been there 3 years.........that's a fair amount of time to have gone with incidence and now this suddenly happens.

Again, I am sympathetic to your situation more so for your daughter but I don't believe this is the way to handle it.

 

[Tuan Nguyen]

Yes, I attempted to reach out to the main owner but never returned my calls. This is closure for my child and me as a dad expressing my concerns not just with her gym but with what I believe goes on at many gyms. It's a sound board for me. I accept some people to not like what I have to say but if it helps 1 child or helps parents out there understand that this type of coaching is out there and if you accept this method so be it but my opinion it is bullying. These young ladies and young men need to be corrected and even disciplined when needed but there is always the pick me afterwards of encouragement.

 

[mstealtoyou]

Yes, I attempted to reach out to the main owner but never returned my calls. This is closure for my child and me as a dad expressing my concerns not just with her gym but with what I believe goes on at many gyms. It's a sound board for me. I accept some people to not like what I have to say but if it helps 1 child or helps parents out there understand that this type of coaching is out there and if you accept this method so be it but my opinion it is bullying. These young ladies and young men need to be corrected and even disciplined when needed but there is always the pick me afterwards of encouragement.

Fair enough. I'm sorry this happened to your family!

 

[cheermommaRN]

I just want to say I'm sorry your cp is going through this. A mental block is hard enough and bullying behavior does not help.
Please believe not all gyms are like that, in fact many are not. They may not win all the time but the coaches care about their athletes and encourage them to grow as athletes. Hopefully you find a place like that for her.
Great programs I can think of are Spirit Extreme, Champion Cheer, Cheer Athletics, and Cheer Texas...all run by individuals that put the kid before the win.


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[quitthedrama]

As with any sport, different gyms have different coaching philosophies and different cultures. I have seen both the harsh discipline bordering on verbal abuse but the teams are winning and have seen the "we are here to have fun and just be the best we can be" and the teams are at the bottom of the pack. I have also seen gyms that are able to offer a positive environment and achieve winning results. I understand your frustration, but you aren't going to fix it by calling out the gym on here. If you have raised your concerns with the ownership and are not satisfied with their response, then it is time to move on. They are not going to change their style or their culture - it is "working" for them. I am sorry that this is happening, but given your location, you have several options that are sure to be a better fit for your CP. I wish you both the best!

 

[HeyMom]

Trust me, each program has its strengths and weaknesses. Some coaching styles just aren't the best fit for all athletes. If you feel that this matter is unresolvable, then it is time to move on. @cheermommaRN is right, there are several awesome gyms in the area that put the athlete before the win. Been there, done that, moved on and couldn't be happier. Good luck to you and your CP.

 

[BlockHead]

I removed my daughter from a gym in mid July. She was having extreme anxiety issues. Parents are rarely allowed to watch practices there, so the coaches behavior was rarely seen by me. My daughter is one of those extremely sensitive children that you really have to watch what you say and how you say it. She could no longer take the stress from the comments that her coach(es) would say. It was a difficult decision, because it was a gym that she had been attending for 5 years (she was just starting her 3rd year of competitive cheer; before that she did gymnastics there). And it was just a youth level 1 team. Not worth it for my then 8 year old.

We stayed away from cheer all together for 2 months and found a new gym for her in mid September. I am sure they get frustrated with all of the cheerleaders from time to time, but everything at the new gym is about positive reinforcement. I have stayed for almost every practice, and I have been impressed. I doubt that my daughter's new gym will ever place high in any of their competitions, but she loves going to practice and can't wait for their first competition coming up. The other cheerleaders also seem to be having fun, because winning doesn't seem to be the highest priority of this gym. It is so relaxed there. Of course the ultimate goal of competition is to win, but my CP doesn't care about that right now. She is just glad to have found a new place to cheer.