All-Star Themed Practice Controversy

[Just-a-Mom]

So I read this whole dang thread, and to be honest there are some fb members that amaze me with their arrogance.

It's not worth it to re-hash what's already been said. People will think what they want.

I do want to say this : @pebbles49 you did not have verify your story for anyone, or your age. Who in their right mind would tell that story for "dramatic effect"? I'm sorry that's something you had to deal with.

First off, lots of people tell horrible stories for dramatic effect when they are trying to make a point.

Second, no, she didn't have to verify her age. I didn't ask her to verify anything. I have every right to question something that sounds off. Especially when it's a poster that I have already had disagreements with, and people have questioned other stories she's told before (now, I will be the first to say - she has always been upfront and clarified and has always, at least to me, been honest) but yes, I most certainly will question something that is POSTED for veracity. I won't question someone about their age or their past - unless they post it!

I'm sorry, but once you post something it's fair for people to ask questions. I don't understand how just because this thread is an uncomfortable topic, suddenly people can post whatever but if someone asks a question, it's "How dare you ask about what I brought up?" And you're talking about about arrogance?

As for the rest, I shouldn't even bother. You kindly took your opinion to the parent thread to discuss, so I guess I know who your post is directed at.

I love how people keep tossing around things like "arrogance" "refuse to learn" and "you haven't lived my life so you don't know"... But no one wants to apply that to themselves.

Are you trying to learn anything? Because it doesn't seem like you feel like you have anything to learn either.

Are you not being arrogant by telling me I have no right to question someone just because they're facts sounded wrong?

And I'm sorry... But is there anyone in this thread who has lived 2 full lives as different races? No, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like to be black - obviously I don't. But you haven't been me either. Has my life been easier? Maybe - probably. But it's not like I'm just sitting in some lily white suburb, claiming to have a black friend and a black president, saying I obviously know everything.

 

[kristenthegreat]

Oops. Reading it that way it makes more sense. Sorry - minority group clicked as a race thing because I've been reading and posting in this thread too long. But yes, I see what you were saying now.

I definitely don't know everything. I have actually learned things in this thread. I still don't agree that black people can't be racist, but after 41 years on this earth, this thread is the first place where that statement was even explained in a way I understood. So now, while I still disagree, it doesn't seem so crazy to me (I legitimately never understood where people were coming from on that.)

I had a hard time with the whole 'white privilege' concept for a while, especially because as someone who is half immigrant (My father's parents came through Ellis Island from Italy, their names are there and everything), my first instinct was 'Nobody in my family owned slaves, and half my family wasn't even in this country at that time. Those on my mom's side who did come in the 1800s sure as heck were too poor to have slaves!' It always made me feel like I was being accused of something horrible that I had no control over.

My definition of racism never thought to include "power". I had to consider that I'm not a horrible person and though my family aren't horrible people nor are we responsible for atrocities committed against others, we have at various times benefited from a system where my skin color makes things easier for me. I can go into stores and not be followed around or side-eyed. My coworkers won't make judgments about me in a restaurant as to whether or not I'm going to tip them appropriately. I have WAY more acting opportunities (although, still not as many as men!).

Adding "power" to '-ism' words actually makes a lot of sense when you include other things like sexism- which is also about power as well, but via gender.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Thank you for the support, but I am not offended when people respond like this... It is hard for some people to hear stories like this from regular people and tend to not believe it!

Please don't put words in my mouth. I NEVER said I didn't believe the stories. I was questioning you actually seeing it vs hearing about it. And I'm sorry people think it's so horrible that I questioned it, but truth be told, you didn't "grow up in the early 60s" - I was born in 1973,but I would never describe my childhood as growing up in the early 70s. So yes, I questioned your timeline.

I DID NOT question your story. I need you guys to stop acting like I'm stupid and uneducated and talking down to me - and then calling me the arrogant one.

I obviously know that the stories are true. It's not hard for me to hear stories like this from regular people and believe it. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall here... Why do y'all keep acting like people are saying racism does not exist or that it "couldn't be that bad"? I've only seen a handful of posters even imply that - and they were shut down fairly quickly.

Please stop posting that you understand, like you're just patronizing me and saying" Aw... Poor, naive Just-a-Mom. She just doesn't know any better."

I don't know anything about your life - so I asked. You don't know anything about my life - so you assumed you knew and made judgments about what I "believe." But I'm the one being called arrogant. OK.

 

[vegas_cheermom]

First off, lots of people tell horrible stories for dramatic effect when they are trying to make a point.

Second, no, she didn't have to verify her age. I didn't ask her to verify anything. I have every right to question something that sounds off. Especially when it's a poster that I have already had disagreements with, and people have questioned other stories she's told before (now, I will be the first to say - she has always been upfront and clarified and has always, at least to me, been honest) but yes, I most certainly will question something that is POSTED for veracity. I won't question someone about their age or their past - unless they post it!

I'm sorry, but once you post something it's fair for people to ask questions. I don't understand how just because this thread is an uncomfortable topic, suddenly people can post whatever but if someone asks a question, it's "How dare you ask about what I brought up?" And you're talking about about arrogance?

As for the rest, I shouldn't even bother. You kindly took your opinion to the parent thread to discuss, so I guess I know who your post is directed at.

I love how people keep tossing around things like "arrogance" "refuse to learn" and "you haven't lived my life so you don't know"... But no one wants to apply that to themselves.

Are you trying to learn anything? Because it doesn't seem like you feel like you have anything to learn either.

Are you not being arrogant by telling me I have no right to question someone just because they're facts sounded wrong?

And I'm sorry... But is there anyone in this thread who has lived 2 full lives as different races? No, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like to be black - obviously I don't. But you haven't been me either. Has my life been easier? Maybe - probably. But it's not like I'm just sitting in some lily white suburb, claiming to have a black friend and a black president, saying I obviously know everything.

The way you came at her was crazy. Point blank. And she wasn't the only one you tried to come for. Why take it personal?

As far as my post in the parent section, I have no problem repeating it here, and although it was not directed at anyone in particular, if the shoe fits then pleasseeee put it on:
1. Folks have to understand that just because they have not experienced something, doesn't mean life isn't really that way for others.

2. Indentured servants were not the same as slavery. (Though that system did suck)
3. Japanese internment camps were not the same as slavery(though they were treated horribly)

I said that in the parent thread because it didn't sit well with me how several folks went over there and clutched their pearls....

This thread was about dumb themes. I think CA and the original cheer squad are both wrong. All star gyms always talk about positivity, well then better themes should be chosen. Thug, chola, cholo, "gangsta" are all the same to me, no matter the race. Is there nothing else to dress up as?

Now it's 7am on the west coast, so I'm going back to sleep I just saw all these notifications, and thought I'd reply. I'll be happy to continue a conversation on race that's open and not met with hostility.

 

[njallday]

why is it that i don't even need to check my notifications or read the "list" of people who dislike someone else's posts and i already know who disliked it? always the same person disliking everything. why don't you share your opinion instead?

any who to stay on topic - i've seen teams just about everywhere do a "bring it on" themed practice. usually when that theme is chosen, the black girls or other minorities dress in green and the white girls all come as RCT dressed in all red. is that an okay theme because it's based on a movie about cheerleaders? or are we splitting the team by race "for fun?" because i almost find that worse than an entire team deciding together that they're going to dress "thug" for the day. at least there is team unity...

 

[quitthedrama]

why is it that i don't even need to check my notifications or read the "list" of people who dislike someone else's posts and i already know who disliked it? always the same person disliking everything. why don't you share your opinion instead?

I am actually thankful for the derailment after reading many of these posts. I can't agree more - @King I think many of us have voiced our complaints about the negative shimmies. 90% of the time they are either done unintentionally and/or it is giving lolsmileyface's alter ego the ability to go on a power trip Any chance this negative rating thing can be revisited?

 

[ACEDAD]

The way you came at her was crazy. Point blank. And she wasn't the only one you tried to come for. Why take it personal?

We must have different definitions of "came at her". Go back and actually read the post. It's not any kind of an attack; it's a question of a timeline.

I was born in 1962. I have a lot of memories from the late 60's, but I don't really see how I can say I "grew up" in the 60's.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

The way you came at her was crazy. Point blank. And she wasn't the only one you tried to come for. Why take it personal?

As far as my post in the parent section, I have no problem repeating it here, and although it was not directed at anyone in particular, if the shoe fits then pleasseeee put it on:
1. Folks have to understand that just because they have not experienced something, doesn't mean life isn't really that way for others.

2. Indentured servants were not the same as slavery. (Though that system did suck)
3. Japanese internment camps were not the same as slavery(though they were treated horribly)

I said that in the parent thread because it didn't sit well with me how several folks went over there and clutched their pearls....

This thread was about dumb themes. I think CA and the original cheer squad are both wrong. All star gyms always talk about positivity, well then better themes should be chosen. Thug, chola, cholo, "gangsta" are all the same to me, no matter the race. Is there nothing else to dress up as?

Now it's 7am on the west coast, so I'm going back to sleep I just saw all these notifications, and thought I'd reply. I'll be happy to continue a conversation on race that's open and not met with hostility.

I didn't think your post was at one specific person, but it's obvious what people it was to. Be real at least.

I didn't "come for" anyone. I reacted to what I thought were ignorant posts. I, unlike many people, didn't stand in a corner and "clutch my pearls." I actually spoke my mind. Not sure which you want - someone to be honest about how they feel, or people to just sit there and gasp.

The part you quoted was not the part I was talking about, but OK... I totally agree with that part of your post.

1. I already addressed the part about "just because they have not experienced something, doesn't mean life isn't really that way for others"
2. I absolutely abhor when people compare indentured servants to slavery. I agree - they are not the same. At all.
3. I don't know enough about Japanese interment camps to speak on them (shameful, I know, but they are just not something I have personal knowledge of, or even stories passed down to me. And believe it or not, the reason you all think I always think I know everything is because I only speak on things I know about. If I don't know anything, I shut up.)

I also hate when people try to say they have black friends, or they know black people, or they have been the only white person somewhere... All as ways to say they know all about the "black experience." It's naive and absurd to think that is true. (only bringing this up because I've seen hints of it in this thread, and it is frustrating)

I have plenty of black friends, I had a black husband (from little rock, so I've heard some stories that would make *anyone* believe), I have a black child, I went to an HBCU for college. I brought none of it up because none of it means I know a hill of beans about being black. None of those things make me black - or a minority. I get that as a white student at a black University, I got a sample of what it feels like to be the only person in the room who is different. That's it - not racism. I know a lot of people think being a white person in a room full of black people gives you the experience of being a minority, but it doesn't. Because I could leave. I had to feel it for a short time, and then I got to leave and go be white in the world.

So please stop acting like I don't get it. I get it - I do not know what it is like to be a minority in America. I genuinely don't - because I'm not one. But while all those things don't make me black, they DO make me care. I do feel passionate about race and how black people are treated still. But I also am capable of seeing the other side, because I DO know what it's like to be white. It isn't always perfect, and it isn't nearly as simple as people make it sound.

I'm not clutching my pearls (speaking of arrogant) - I'm sad. Sad that people I thought I respected and liked turned out to be prejudiced, disgusting bigots, who all along have been smiling in my face, acting like we're cool. As I said in the parent thread, I'm sure those feelings are mutual - doesn't make it less disappointing.

 

[quitthedrama]

I'm not clutching my pearls (speaking of arrogant) - I'm sad. Sad that people I thought I respected and liked turned out to be prejudiced, disgusting bigots,

I am really trying to keep my personal opinions out of this thread, but THIS. It is NEVER ok to label someone you don't know a "white privileged prick" among other things. Believe it or not, you can have discussion, debate and even arguments without personally attacking someone with insults.

 

[dawgshow]

Dang. I didn't realize that I should own pearls because of my skin color. Learn something new every day on the boards.

 

[FamousxMindset]

Some of you are just painfully unaware of the type of situations people of color have to go through on a daily basis. The picture is inappropriate, when Smoed does it it’s still inappropriate. Its intention was not to offend but it did and coaches of both programs should have known better. It’s not about POC being sensitive its being aware, and if you don’t understand that then consider yourself blessed.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Adding "power" to '-ism' words actually makes a lot of sense when you include other things like sexism- which is also about power as well, but via gender.

Just to clarify why I said I still disagree with this whole thing:

That doesn't include only "power over the whole universe." Smaller microcosms of a society can still be looked at. You can be in power just as someone's supervisor and be a sexist too. You can be in power just to the extent of where you put them in a restaurant - still sexist. Sexism is not "men oppressing women" - women can be sexist too. Adding the word power does not negate whole groups of people from being able to have the -ism attached to them.

Old people can be ageist, but so can young people.

And on and on. So that is what I'm disagreeing with - that adding the word power absolves any race from being able to be racist.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Sorry for the double post. I hit quote instead of edit...

why is it that i don't even need to check my notifications or read the "list" of people who dislike someone else's posts and i already know who disliked it? always the same person disliking everything. why don't you share your opinion instead?

Lol the app doesn't have dislike notifications. Thank God! I don't even look at them.

 

[Pebbles49]

I didn't think your post was at one specific person, but it's obvious what people it was to. Be real at least.

I didn't "come for" anyone. I reacted to what I thought were ignorant posts. I, unlike many people, didn't stand in a corner and "clutch my pearls." I actually spoke my mind. Not sure which you want - someone to be honest about how they feel, or people to just sit there and gasp.

The part you quoted was not the part I was talking about, but OK... I totally agree with that part of your post.

1. I already addressed the part about "just because they have not experienced something, doesn't mean life isn't really that way for others"
2. I absolutely abhor when people compare indentured servants to slavery. I agree - they are not the same. At all.
3. I don't know enough about Japanese interment camps to speak on them (shameful, I know, but they are just not something I have personal knowledge of, or even stories passed down to me. And believe it or not, the reason you all think I always think I know everything is because I only speak on things I know about. If I don't know anything, I shut up.)

I also hate when people try to say they have black friends, or they know black people, or they have been the only white person somewhere... All as ways to say they know all about the "black experience." It's naive and absurd to think that is true. (only bringing this up because I've seen hints of it in this thread, and it is frustrating)

I have plenty of black friends, I had a black husband (from little rock, so I've heard some stories that would make *anyone* believe), I have a black child, I went to an HBCU for college. I brought none of it up because none of it means I know a hill of beans about being black. None of those things make me black - or a minority. I get that as a white student at a black University, I got a sample of what it feels like to be the only person in the room who is different. That's it - not racism. I know a lot of people think being a white person in a room full of black people gives you the experience of being a minority, but it doesn't. Because I could leave. I had to feel it for a short time, and then I got to leave and go be white in the world.

So please stop acting like I don't get it. I get it - I do not know what it is like to be a minority in America. I genuinely don't - because I'm not one. But while all those things don't make me black, they DO make me care. I do feel passionate about race and how black people are treated still. But I also am capable of seeing the other side, because I DO know what it's like to be white. It isn't always perfect, and it isn't nearly as simple as people make it sound.

I'm not clutching my pearls (speaking of arrogant) - I'm sad. Sad that people I thought I respected and liked turned out to be prejudiced, disgusting bigots, who all along have been smiling in my face, acting like we're cool. As I said in the parent thread, I'm sure those feelings are mutual - doesn't make it less disappointing.

Well, after reading many of the postings on this topic - I agree with ACEDAD, most of my growth will be in the 70s, but I misconstrued the timeline of the 60s because I was in that area during that time, so I associated my 'little stuff' in being from that era but truthfully I am really not. If I come across as being patronizing on any level, may be my way of dealing and accepting a bad situation (little I've actually 'seen', but most I 'heard' over the years) by nodding and even telling jokes to feel better... Matter of fact, I have a Mom (mid 70s) who have not dealt with that part of her life and is holding it in, but I know, that there is a lot a pain there that she needs to unleash... In fact, she instructed me to make sure when she died that her body is not return to the South for burial. (Now that's deep)
You know I attended HBCU for 1 year, I got a chance to meet many of the Civil Rights heroes we read about - like Rosa Park, I remembered her to be a wonderful grandmotherly type person, but not the icon that the history books documented... I asked her the question and Rosa Park told me why she chose that moment to not give up her seat and it was just a moment that could have happened to anyone and it had before her refusal. I heard about another person who did it before Rosa Park and she was a single pregnant teenager named Claudette Colvin (73), she lives in Brooklyn now and was one of the first to be arrested for refusing to give up her seat. The NAACP did not think she was a suitable candidate to rally a movement around, so they selected Rosa Park...Just laying down a little knowledge!
PS: I have nothing to add to the topic, these things happened and I say let's learn from them and move on... Let's make sure we educate our young people about these situation, so they do not repeat it!
Hint: Why can we stick to wearing Practice wear, Please!

 

[FamousxMindset]

First off, lots of people tell horrible stories for dramatic effect when they are trying to make a point.

Second, no, she didn't have to verify her age. I didn't ask her to verify anything. I have every right to question something that sounds off. Especially when it's a poster that I have already had disagreements with, and people have questioned other stories she's told before (now, I will be the first to say - she has always been upfront and clarified and has always, at least to me, been honest) but yes, I most certainly will question something that is POSTED for veracity. I won't question someone about their age or their past - unless they post it!

I'm sorry, but once you post something it's fair for people to ask questions. I don't understand how just because this thread is an uncomfortable topic, suddenly people can post whatever but if someone asks a question, it's "How dare you ask about what I brought up?" And you're talking about about arrogance?

As for the rest, I shouldn't even bother. You kindly took your opinion to the parent thread to discuss, so I guess I know who your post is directed at.

I love how people keep tossing around things like "arrogance" "refuse to learn" and "you haven't lived my life so you don't know"... But no one wants to apply that to themselves.

Are you trying to learn anything? Because it doesn't seem like you feel like you have anything to learn either.

Are you not being arrogant by telling me I have no right to question someone just because they're facts sounded wrong?

And I'm sorry... But is there anyone in this thread who has lived 2 full lives as different races? No, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like to be black - obviously I don't. But you haven't been me either. Has my life been easier? Maybe - probably. But it's not like I'm just sitting in some lily white suburb, claiming to have a black friend and a black president, saying I obviously know everything.

Your comment was insensitive. Its not always what you say but how you say it.