All-Star Confessions Of A Cheermom

[CheerBank]

As I sit here with a cheer hangover from a weekend full of competing I have the following confessions:

I have a problem spending 12 hours with a group of people I hardly know. I simply cannot be "cheer"ful for that long; it's not in my nature. As a result I often sneak out to my car to hide and recharge.

I don't like watching my kids compete from the VIP section. I think you can see better from further back and I'm usually such a wreck that I have difficulty drumming up the obligatory enthusiasm. I'm just trying to get through the routine without passing out. It's hard to go 2:30 without taking a breath.

When watching the other teams in my kids division I don't hope that they drop a stunt or anything - seriously, but I do have a momentary sense of relief/satisfaction if they do. I do feel guilty about it though.

While I certainly hope that our teams come home with a banner, as long as MY kid's stunts and tumbling hit I consider the weekend a success. That's really all I care about.

I'm hoping that these confessions will allow me to escape the inevitability of an eternity in cheer hell and just spend some time in cheer purgatory when the time comes.

You are my new best friend.

 

[CheerBank]

OMG are you the Jaded Cheer Mom twitter? She posted something exactly along those lines on Friday night.

I must stalk I mean find this.

 

[Mom2K]

Wondering if we should relocate this thread to the Cheer Parents board lest all our secrets be found out.

HATE VIP sections. You can only see what is happening in one panel of the mat. I'm a seat stalker and absolutely WILL find a spot in the center far enough back to see the whole mat before my cp performs. And then I will set up camp there for as long as is necessary. Luckily, most of our comps have arena seating.

I frequently bring a camera, but cannot take pics during a performance. I get too excited and I'm afraid I will miss something.

We have an awesome method of bringing snacks into the most strict of venues...

I have been known to use "cheer voodoo" on opposing teams. It basically involves me doing some scary finger wiggling as they perform to make their stunts wobble.

 

[Ashley]

I must stalk I mean find this.

Mamaslapaho

 

[justpeachy]

Seat stalkers unite!!

I'd love to learn more about your snack smuggling methods.

And if we're really going underground, we'd all love a cheer voodoo lesson.

 

[justpeachy]

Mamaslapaho

Dead.

 

[AZCheerMom]

Lest I be known solely for my alcoholism, I will confess again. I have been known to strategically plot and plan my entrance to the VIP section for a good 10 minutes or more. Gotta be in the optimal cheer mom spaz out zone.

Confession.. I almost missed a performance last year because I was at the bar. Myself and another mom were running to watch in time thinking of what we would say to our CP's if we didnt make it.. Like oh you girls were great.. Crossing fingers that they were. Thank goodness we made it when they were walking on the mat!

 

[AllstarObsession]

Wondering if we should relocate this thread to the Cheer Parents board lest all our secrets be found out.

HATE VIP sections. You can only see what is happening in one panel of the mat. I'm a seat stalker and absolutely WILL find a spot in the center far enough back to see the whole mat before my cp performs. And then I will set up camp there for as long as is necessary. Luckily, most of our comps have arena seating.

I frequently bring a camera, but cannot take pics during a performance. I get too excited and I'm afraid I will miss something.

We have an awesome method of bringing snacks into the most strict of venues...

I have been known to use "cheer voodoo" on opposing teams. It basically involves me doing some scary finger wiggling as they perform to make their stunts wobble.

Oh my goodness that's hysterical. I have to try it ahaah

 

[AZCheerMom]

Mamaslapaho

I can't stop laughing!

 

[bellalexi]

I know this didn't send the right message to my CP, but I bribed her with cheer paraphernalia to skip an awards ceremony that we would be waiting 3-4 hours for, in an out of town competition, when I knew there was no way they were going to win anyway.

 

[gimmeoneminute]

OMG are you the Jaded Cheer Mom twitter? She posted something exactly along those lines on Friday night.

No, I am not her. MamaSlapAHo is prettier.

 

[gimmeoneminute]

I can't stop laughing!

She is no laughing matter. She can take anyone out in 140 characters or less.

She is like the Lochness Monster, they say she exists but no one has ever seen her!

 

[Fiercecheermom]

She is no laughing matter. She can take anyone out in 140 characters or less.

She is like the Lochness Monster, they say she exists but no one has ever seen her!

Oh she exists...and DON'T get on her bad side. She doesn't play!!!

 

[AZCheerMom]

She is no laughing matter. She can take anyone out in 140 characters or less.

She is like the Lochness Monster, they say she exists but no one has ever seen her!

I have refused to join twitter but I might just have to now!

 

[12stepCheermom]

Just followed her....

....she had me at her profile pic.