All-Star Advice To Gym Moms....

[Just-a-Mom]

These threads always astound me. When in the history of parenting has any mom ever taken unsolicited advice on how to parent THEIR child, and followed it??? I know I haven't. I parent my kids how I think I should, not how you think I should.

Sorry. Just something that gets under my skin on here - I never understand the constant need people have to point out what all the other moms are doing wrong.

 

[RaRaMama]

I think encouragement is a wonderful thing, I just dont agree with comparing my kid to another kid. I will encourage my daughter to keep improving to be HER personal best, but the reality of the situation is her personal best still may or may not be as good as the next kid. I am never okay with her being complacent or mediocre with any aspect of her life-school, cheer, relationships with family/friends, etc. I encourage her to give 150% and know she did all she could do in any situation, and to be proud of herself for that. At the end of the day, if she "only" makes it to a senior level 3 or 4 team by the time she graduates in 6 years, I'm fine with that as long as she gives it her all.

 

[RaRaMama]

These threads always astound me. When in the history of parenting has any mom ever taken unsolicited advice on how to parent THEIR child, and followed it??? I know I haven't. I parent my kids how I think I should, not how you think I should.

Sorry. Just something that gets under my skin on here - I never understand the constant need people have to point out what all the other moms are doing wrong.

Preach on! I do agree...have you ever read The Scary Mommy blog? Funny stories, but a lot centers around moms constantly feeling like they need to force their "way" on other moms.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Preach on! I do agree...have you ever read The Scary Mommy blog? Funny stories, but a lot centers around moms constantly feeling like they need to force their "way" on other moms.

Oh lord... Lol no I've never read it. But I might now!

 

[Mclovin]

I guess my feelings about comparing my child to other kids...the reality is my kids will be compared to others their entire lives. For a job interview...at college tryouts...heck even at all star tryouts...they are being compared to others so that decisions can be made on who's best for the job. So yes, I do tell my kids to strive to be better than everyone else. If sally gets her straight leg scorpion and I know my CP wants to be center flyer, then of course I'm gonna tell her she better be working her straight leg scorpion. If sally gets a really hard tumbling pass and my CP dreams of being last pass, I'm gonna tell her she better be working on something even harder. Don't blame the coaches for where your child ends up in a routine...teach your child to work hard enough to be noticed by her coaches so that she gets what she wants.

 

[MamaMya04]

Wow, if I had listened to any of the above advice, my daughters wouldn't be where they are today... I WAS that mom. I AM that mom. And I am proud of it. This will be year 9 for us in all star cheer and while everyone says you mellow out as they get older, I haven't. I'm still just as passionate about how my kids are doing, how they are progressing and yes, how they are progressing compared to their peers. I personally don't think there's a thing wrong with desiring or wanting your child to be able to hang with the best unless the best just isn't in their reach. But if it is...don't be afraid to push them! Sometimes kids get lazy and if given the opportunity, will slack off and not want to train to their best ability. IMO, it is my job to make them train and push to be their best. I do not teach my children that mediocrity is acceptable. Not in cheer, not in school, not in their relationship with God. I teach them to do ALL things the very best they can. That means train hard, determine to be the best you can be. I believe God blesses us when we are trying our very best.

I am a mom and I approve this message. I believe you go hard or go home in every thing that you do and I lead by example. Allstar cheer is a costly sport and it's one thing to not want to participate. It's another to participate and slack off. I'm not a Nazi about it but I do encourage my children to do their absolute best. Mclovin, I love that you relate doing your best to glorifying God. My pastor always says 'Look your best, do your best, and be your best." My family lives by that and as long as my children can say they did their best, I'm happy.

 

[Mclovin]

Exactly MamaMya04. It's not about being so psycho that your child HAS to be the best. It's about being passionate enough about what your kids are passionate about to push them beyond what they even think they are capable of. In the end, they will be very appreciative that you did and will have learned some very good lessons in life about hard work and how that pays off.

 

[cheermeup]

Seriously?

If you don't like a thread don't read it. There is no need to come on and post a condescending post towards everyone posting.

Peace out.

 

[tumbleyoda]

Stay off the gym floor unless you are invited out to the floor by a coach. Once you cross that line, you child can use that to his or her advantages. Also other parents will feel they now have the right to do the same thing. This also includes coaching from the parents area, overruling the coach on what they are trying to work on, etc. So then when and if the practices become closed, you might understand how much of a distraction it becomes.

If a parent is going to talk bad to you about somebody else's child, they will probably talk bad about yours as well. All it will take is time. Avoid those parents who are always starting drama in the gym - yet who never leave the gym either. Read, go for a walk, run errands. Don't give them a chance to spread their poison.

Please ask questions of the coaches and owners if you do not understand why your child is placed in certain areas of the routine, their training, etc. There may be a reason you have not considered as to why your child is not flying point, or is not the last pass tumbler, or is not in front for every segment of the routine. Schedule an appointment to do so at a mutually convenient time for both of you. Don't bum rush the coach before practice, during water break, or immediately at the end of practice. Let the coach have some time to talk intelligently with you about your concerns.

You have every right to see your athlete progress. Cheer is expensive and if you plan for your child to get scholarships at certain schools, they have to be visible, play important roles, and be able to compete with the numerous other athletes around the world who may want to go to that school and compete for that spot on that marquee team. However the coaches will not sacrifice an entire team or an entire routine just so your child can be the star and everyone else becomes backup dancers to your child. While there are definitely individual aspects about cheer, it is still primarily a team sport. It may be that you may need to switch to a different gym to see what you want to see, and to achieve your long term goals. That is perfectly fine with the majority of gyms. Just do so in a respectful manner. Schedule a meeting and let's talk about it.

Children progress at different rates. Some can get a back handspring in a month, others take years. There is not always a perfect answer as to why. The same is true of any skill. Be supportive of them thru out the process. Be your child's biggest cheerleader.

Your child may not always be on the same team as her best friend, even if they started together. It doesn't mean one child is favored over the other. As long as your child is progressing and is happy, allow the coaches to place your child where they will be the best fit, and have the best opportunities to keep on progressing.

 

[Mclovin]

tumbleyoda I agree with ALL of that 100% Great post!!

 

[cheerinatorXdad]

Sorry, can't agree with the drop-and-shop method of cheer parenting. As long as I have underage children working in close proximity with adults, I'll be there. Love ya, coaches, but I'm glad you're used to me being in the parent lobby

I super-shimmy this post.
I only have one child so I'm going to be interested in everything she does. There were some parents on or team last year that the only time I ever saw them was at competitions.

 

[cheerinatorXdad]

Sorry, can't agree with the drop-and-shop method of cheer parenting. As long as I have underage children working in close proximity with adults, I'll be there. Love ya, coaches, but I'm glad you're used to me being in the parent lobby

I super-shimmy this post.
I only have one child so I'm going to be interested in everything she does. There were some parents on or team last year that the only time I ever saw them was at competitions.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Seriously?

If you don't like a thread don't read it. There is no need to come on and post a condescending post towards everyone posting.

Peace out.

It wasn't towards "everyone posting". I actually rather liked your advice - especially about the moms who approach you the fastest at a new gym. (But I kinda thought "Buy an iPad" was condescending, since you want to call out specific things as condescending). I was merely expressing an opinion on something. Advice is one thing - telling me whether or not to stay at my child's practice is another.

And I think it has a LOT to do with how it's worded. Saying "I do this..." vs. saying "You should do this" are 2 completely different things. I (and most people) are much more receptive to people saying things like "I don't teach my kids mediocrity is acceptable" than "YOU should not teach your kids ..."

How receptive would you have been to me replying to your post with "Never leave your kids at practice! You should always watch them constantly. You should not be more involved in your iPad than your kids' lives!" (Not saying I feel this way, just showing that the wording sounds a little presumptuous of me to assume I know what you or your children need).

Sorry my post offended you.

 

[kkinsley]

Our gym manager is also our head womens artistic coach and she had this posted on her Facebook page recently which I thought was very good advice and applies as much to cheer as any sport involving children

 

[gymrat12]

after reading this thread I'm going to the coaches room and pretending it doesn't exist...