All-Star Advice To Gym Moms....

[cheermeup]

It wasn't towards "everyone posting". I actually rather liked your advice - especially about the moms who approach you the fastest at a new gym. (But I kinda thought "Buy an iPad" was condescending, since you want to call out specific things as condescending). I was merely expressing an opinion on something. Advice is one thing - telling me whether or not to stay at my child's practice is another.

And I think it has a LOT to do with how it's worded. Saying "I do this..." vs. saying "You should do this" are 2 completely different things. I (and most people) are much more receptive to people saying things like "I don't teach my kids mediocrity is acceptable" than "YOU should not teach your kids ..."

How receptive would you have been to me replying to your post with "Never leave your kids at practice! You should always watch them constantly. You should not be more involved in your iPad than your kids' lives!" (Not saying I feel this way, just showing that the wording sounds a little presumptuous of me to assume I know what you or your children need).
T
Sorry my post offended you.

I don't see how buying an iPad is condescending, but then I again I don't view the world in that manner. My advice on the iPad was leaning towards the fact that you don't have to carry big books around, and that it's convenient because if you get sick of reading you you can watch Netflix. Once again, sorry to offend anyone with that advice, I was being genuine and didn't realize that everything anyone says on here will be viewed in a negative manner and used against you.

At the gym we spent 5 years at practices were closed, meaning we couldn't even go in the lobby.

I try to be logical and helpful and I can't even deal with this.

I'm no newbie so we can't use that excuse.

 

[cheermeup]

I forgot to say, the iPad is also awesome because when your kid gets a new skill and you are invited into gym to watch it, you have a handy camera on hand to record it!

 

[pcheer1]

When my daughter first started out in allstar cheer 10 years ago, I was the mom who sent her daughter to every tumbling clinic and private lesson and would be disappointed when the skills didn’t develop. I was focused on every other cheerleader and what they could do and what mine couldn’t do. I didn’t see the cheerleader who loved the sport and was an awesome base and jumper. Now as my daughter enters her last year in the sport, I regret those missed opportunities over the years to really see her as the wonderful cheerleader she has always been.
So my advice (as cliché as it sounds) is to cherish every moment as it will be gone before you know it and offer encouragement and praise every step of the way.
I look forward to enjoying my daughter’s final year knowing she is giving it her all doing something she loves.

 

[The Sixth]

Wow, if I had listened to any of the above advice, my daughters wouldn't be where they are today... I WAS that mom. I AM that mom. And I am proud of it. This will be year 9 for us in all star cheer and while everyone says you mellow out as they get older, I haven't. I'm still just as passionate about how my kids are doing, how they are progressing and yes, how they are progressing compared to their peers. I personally don't think there's a thing wrong with desiring or wanting your child to be able to hang with the best unless the best just isn't in their reach. But if it is...don't be afraid to push them! Sometimes kids get lazy and if given the opportunity, will slack off and not want to train to their best ability. IMO, it is my job to make them train and push to be their best. I do not teach my children that mediocrity is acceptable. Not in cheer, not in school, not in their relationship with God. I teach them to do ALL things the very best they can. That means train hard, determine to be the best you can be. I believe God blesses us when we are trying our very best.

Lol....I was just about to say, my advice, don't listen to the advice posted! Some adults even have issues with it, but moreso for children. They may know where they want to go, or want to be, but they don't know how to get there. It's our job as parents to show them how. I was fortunate to have an older brother and father who took great interest in supporting my sports endeavors as a child. And I'm happy to play that same role with mine.

I think it is VERY cool, that after 7 years she can still ask for my advice or opinions. And I'm pretty sure she thinks it's cool that we can just straight up talk cheer, and have a conversation with somebody that sounds informed.

 

[Mclovin]

I think the bottom line is that we all parent our children how we feel is best. I watched that video from the USAG mental toughness coach. While I agreed with a lot of it, I disagreed on a lot of it, too. Does that mean everyone should feel the same way I feel? Absolutely not. The great thing about being a parent is that NO ONE else can tell us how to parent. We get to decide how that's done. So while MY kids may benefit from my style of parenting, someone elses's kid may shut down and go through mental blocks because of it. Vice versa...while someone else's kid may succeed with a laid back approach from their parents, my girls would never have achieved what they can do now if I had done it that way. There's really no right or wrong. At the end of the day, I know I am doing my very best for my kids and I am giving them EVERY opportunity to succeed and grab life by the horns and be in control.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I don't see how buying an iPad is condescending, but then I again I don't view the world in that manner. My advice on the iPad was leaning towards the fact that you don't have to carry big books around, and that it's convenient because if you get sick of reading you you can watch Netflix. Once again, sorry to offend anyone with that advice, I was being genuine and didn't realize that everything anyone says on here will be viewed in a negative manner and used against you.

At the gym we spent 5 years at practices were closed, meaning we couldn't even go in the lobby.

I try to be logical and helpful and I can't even deal with this.

I'm no newbie so we can't use that excuse.

I meant condescending in probably not a very accurate way, but I guess it just gives me a feeling of you not quite being in touch with the fact that not everyone in the world is in the same socioeconomic status that they can just run out and buy a $500 electronic device and sit at Starbucks. I don't think most people who don't have iPads don't have them because they haven't been educated on their awesomeness or because they haven't thought of how nice it would be to sit in Starbucks watching movies. I think it's because they think groceries are more of a priority that week and they can't afford both.

So to just casually say "Buy an iPad" kinda confirms my belief that the advice being given out in this thread isn't really being given with consideration of the recipient's life and needs. Which is all I was originally saying - it seems most advice is given as a way of saying "Ugh - Why aren't you more like me?" as opposed to the advice giver thinking "What does this person need for their lifestyle?"

Again, sorry I'm offending you and sorry you think I take "everything anyone says" as negative (I think that was a little of an exaggeration considering I was only referring to about 1/3 of the posts in ONE thread).

Guess we have to agree to disagree.

 

[12stepCheermom]

Unless you are Debbie Love (or an equivalent) do not try to coach your child on skills.

The only things I say to my kids is repeating to her exactly what her coaches have said.

 

[CD FOREVER AND EVA!]

I am a coach and a mom and I push my child more. But she loves the sport and wants to improve. She is also a club soccer player. I've had advise to chose one sport or the other and since she's only 9 years old I think she needs to be able to be well rounded. Her soccer and her cheer in some ways compliment each other. Soccer gives her that endurance so she can perform 2:30 with ease and her cheer gives her that confidence, strength, and speed. She loves both so I see no reason to focus on just one. Since I'm a former cheer owner i would be heart broken if she chose soccer over cheer LOL ... but in the end she is very well rounded and a straight A student ....

 

[JulieP]

These threads always astound me. When in the history of parenting has any mom ever taken unsolicited advice on how to parent THEIR child, and followed it??? I know I haven't. I parent my kids how I think I should, not how you think I should.

Sorry. Just something that gets under my skin on here - I never understand the constant need people have to point out what all the other moms are doing wrong.

I am going to be a mom in the next week supposedly, and I will gladly give my unsolicited advice to all of you moms because I OBVIOUSLY know better because not only am I a coach, but I am almost-just-a-mom. So there. And I don't think you're negative.

While we're on the subject though, if you're a parent headed to Starbucks during practice, please pick me up a carmel frappacino light. They're my fave.

 

[cupieqt]

My advice?
Place forks and knives upside down when you load them in the dishwasher. This way cp doesn't stab herself when she unloads it.

 

[Deleted member 1556]

Some of you are scaring me:enjoyshow:..

 

[Just-a-Mom]

My advice?
Place forks and knives upside down when you load them in the dishwasher. This way cp doesn't stab herself when she unloads it.

Hahahaha! I have to do knives upside down and forks right side up. No idea why, I just have to. But what is this thing you speak of..."cp unloads dishwasher"?

 

[Labegg]

I am a coach and a mom and I push my child more. But she loves the sport and wants to improve. She is also a club soccer player. I've had advise to chose one sport or the other and since she's only 9 years old I think she needs to be able to be well rounded. Her soccer and her cheer in some ways compliment each other. Soccer gives her that endurance so she can perform 2:30 with ease and her cheer gives her that confidence, strength, and speed. She loves both so I see no reason to focus on just one. Since I'm a former cheer owner i would be heart broken if she chose soccer over cheer LOL ... but in the end she is very well rounded and a straight A student ....

Sorry I know this is off topic but you have just mentioned one of the things that really really pushes my buttons. Why has our society progressed to the point that we have to have 9 year olds "choose" which sport she wants to concentrate on?

I am so happy when I hear parents, like yourself, say "hey, wait a minute, my kid does not need to pick A sport, she can be good at more than one thing and maybe 'a' sport actually improves her skills for 'b' sport." Good for you!

More parents, especially those parents of that kid that specialized and only does one sport, need to recognize everyone can contribute to the team, if the coach picks my kid to make the team, you shouldn't be the one questioning whether she is "good enough" or "dedicated enough".

 

[NEliteSteven]

I guess my feelings about comparing my child to other kids...the reality is my kids will be compared to others their entire lives. For a job interview...at college tryouts...heck even at all star tryouts...they are being compared to others so that decisions can be made on who's best for the job. So yes, I do tell my kids to strive to be better than everyone else. If sally gets her straight leg scorpion and I know my CP wants to be center flyer, then of course I'm gonna tell her she better be working her straight leg scorpion. If sally gets a really hard tumbling pass and my CP dreams of being last pass, I'm gonna tell her she better be working on something even harder. Don't blame the coaches for where your child ends up in a routine...teach your child to work hard enough to be noticed by her coaches so that she gets what she wants.

I love you. I want to frame this and put it in the gym.

 

[mdmetromom]

@tumbleyoda, I loved your post, especially the last paragraph.