All-Star All Star Mom & Dating

[Keep_Believing]

I wish there was a way to meet single dads who have daughters involved in all star cheer & are supportive of it. I am a single Mom of 3 kids. Both of daughters love all star cheer & have a passion for it. My son loves soccer & boys gymnastics. The guys I have meet & went out with all seem to disapprove of all star cheer. They think I (me & my girls) put to much of our money, time, & energy into it. I admit my girls are at the gym 4 times a week & they live cheer because they love it. I happen to also love it. So, it is a win win situation to me. My last boyfriend told me he was ready to start talking about marriage, but wanted me to agree to take my girls out of cheer and just let them take a dance class once a week. Needless to say, we are no longer together. I am so frustrated! Any advice or suggestions?

 

[Keep_Believing]

P.S. I work full time & pay for their cheer with my own money.

 

[Hi! It's me!]

Sorry. If you figure it out let me know. I gave up and don't date. Mom of 4 with only 1 left in Allstar. Maybe we should have a singles section on the fierceboard, parents only!

 

[Keep_Believing]

" Maybe we should have a singles section on the fierceboard, parents only! " That would be awesome. I have done match.com & am so shocked at some of the rude comments the men make when I talk about my girls loving all star cheer. I have heard "put them in a real sport", "why would you even let your daughters cheer?", "their outfits are slutty", & "I don't approve!" from guys that know nothing about the sport & hard work that goes into it. I would never put their kid's sports, activities, etc. down. My daughters are 8 & 9. As long as they continue to love cheer, they will be allowed to stay in it!

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

I wish there was a way to meet single dads who have daughters involved in all star cheer & are supportive of it. I am a single Mom of 3 kids. Both of daughters love all star cheer & have a passion for it. My son loves soccer & boys gymnastics. The guys I have meet & went out with all seem to disapprove of all star cheer. They think I (me & my girls) put to much of our money, time, & energy into it. I admit my girls are at the gym 4 times a week & they live cheer because they love it. I happen to also love it. So, it is a win win situation to me. My last boyfriend told me he was ready to start talking about marriage, but wanted me to agree to take my girls out of cheer and just let them take a dance class once a week. Needless to say, we are no longer together. I am so frustrated! Any advice or suggestions?

Sounds like they have jealousy issues over your time. Do any of these men have children of their own?

 

[The Sixth]

Not in a disrespectful way, but what an odd post even for FB! Not really advice or suggestion, but coming from a single dad, all I can say is they ARE out there if that's what you think the answer might be. You just have to be fortunate enough to find one in your gym. They should be pretty easy to spot though amongst all the usual cheer moms! Of course that's just the first step. They still have to meet all your other criteria for a relationship.

Curious tho, did any of the previous men you've been involved with have kids? It seems to me that any parents, especially ones with kids involved in sports, would fully understand another parent's wish to do everything they can to provide their child with the opportunity to do what they love. But I suppose with cheer, it takes a bit of extra understanding to really "get" why we do what we do.

Lol...maybe ask Kingston for a singles support section. Even if it's not specifically for dating, maybe ppl would find it helpful on how single parents manage cheer schedules on their own *shrugs*

 

[Keep_Believing]

Yes, most of the men I have talked with do have children of their own. For example their daughter might be in softball. They approve of softball, but not cheer. It is like they don't respect cheer & think I am throwing my money away on it. I feel like it is my money, my daughters love it, and they are just ignorant about the sport of cheer. It is really frustrating. They approve of my son playing soccer, but not my girls doing all star cheer. I get that cheer involves more money & more time, but isn't that how most sports are when you get on a high competitive level?

 

[REA Dad]

Sorry Ladies, I'm already taken!! haha

 

[Keep_Believing]

Sorry, it is an odd post. I live in Bryan/College Station, Tx. It is a fairly small conservative college town. I love our all star gym, but as far as I know all of the Dads at the gym are married. Lots of single Moms, but no single Dads. Yeah, if a nice single Dad moved into our gym he would probably get attacked my all the single "cheer" moms. LOL Thanks for the response.

 

[KikiD22]

Okay, I'm going to chime in here... I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now (my ex-husband is CP's dad), and he's been super supportive. I feel very lucky in that because up until recently, her dad wasn't supportive at all. However, my boyfriend has been involved in the allstar cheer world "behind the scenes" and in professional sports for quite some time, so he has a respect for the hard work and dedication this sport requires. He goes to all of her competitions and many of her practices with me.

That being said, you might almost have a better time finding someone with a child in a sport that requires comparable dedication (travel basketball, travel hockey, etc.), and I hate to say it, has a boy! I came from the softball world, and I can tell you for certain that 1) the time commitment is not the same, even at the highest level of the game, which is where I played, and 2) there is a definite disrespect amongst many in other female sports against cheerleading. There is definitely the old stereotype that cheer isn't a "real" sport when it comes to other female athletes. I find less of that stereotype amongst male athletes, although it is still there, than I do with other females. That may just be my personal experience though.

 

[Keep_Believing]

"he has a respect for the hard work and dedication this sport requires. He goes to all of her competitions and many of her practices with me" That is awesome! That is a blessing & must mean the world to your child/children. Thanks for the honest response. My ex Husband/Father of my kids chooses not to be involved at all with our 3 children. Maybe, I just need to wait & date when my kids are older.

 

[The Sixth]

Sorry, it is an odd post. I live in Bryan/College Station, Tx. It is a fairly small conservative college town. I love our all star gym, but as far as I know all of the Dads at the gym are married. Lots of single Moms, but no single Dads. Yeah, if a nice single Dad moved into our gym he would probably get attacked my all the single "cheer" moms. LOL Thanks for the response.

No need to apologize Maybe odd is the wrong word. How about interesting....in an odd way??? This is more a semi-facetious response, I'm not familar with gyms in that area, so maybe you should switch to a large gym to increase the chances of prospects???

On a more serious note, I think there are enough challenges for single parents as it is; so I'm sorry to hear that being involved in cheer is just one more obstacle on top of that for you. But also understand that simply finding someone involved in cheer may not be an answer either. It could present a whole set of other problems in itself. I've also seen plenty of instances where, the mom does the brunt of the cheer work, and the dad plays a much smaller (if any) roll. Which isn't a negative statement toward the dad at all.

In general, I think you just need to be upfront with potential men, and explain it as clearly as possible. This is your lifestyle, and this is something that won't be changed. And they either have the option of being ok with it or not. And on your side of it, you just have to accept that they will or won't; and not take the risk of a wishy washy "maybe".

While I wish you luck, I'll refrain from posting the obligatory "hang in there, your time will come", or "one day you'll meet the right person"; those types of things I tend to find kind of patronizing...lol.

 

[ErinS]

Um...well this is an odd thread... but that being said... any man (or woman for single cheer dads) that disapproves of a child participating in a sport regardless of the chosen sport is clearly not a winner. I don't really know where you go to meet men....interested in cheer.... I would suggest you keep investing in eharmony, match.com, okcupid etc....join speed dating groups...join organizations/groups/develop a hobby that youre intested in and may also attract single men (outside of cheerleading).

Become a cougar....

or just focus on your kids and let love find you.

 

[Keep_Believing]

Yeah, I think I will skip being a cougar. LOL Focusing on the kids & letting love find me sounds good for now. I just don't want any anti cheer guys to find me and then try to change me & my kids.

How do you start a single forum? It would be nice to talk with other single parents about juggling cheer schedules, finding ways to save money while traveling for cheer (priceline for Hotels), etc.

 

[Keep_Believing]

" interesting....in an odd way" Hey, that sounds good!

I love our gym & it is the only "true" cheer gym in our area. I'd have to drive an 1 1/2 hours to The Woodlands Elite to be able to go to a LARGE gym. So, we will stay put.

I wouldn't expect the guy to do a lot of work to help with all star cheer, just have a positive attitude & an open mind about it. Except me & not try to change me or my kids! LOL

"In general, I think you just need to be upfront with potential men, and explain it as clearly as possible. This is your lifestyle, and this is something that won't be changed. And they either have the option of being ok with it or not. And on your side of it, you just have to accept that they will or won't; and not take the risk of a wishy washy "maybe"."

Ditto! I agree!