All-Star Coaches Dating Athletes With Parent Approval

[ufomom]

If they are both 18, no problem. If one is underage and the parent has given approval, I would worry if something went wrong and the approval is withdrawn and the cops are called. Could have a negative impact on the gym. "CHEERLEADING COACH ARRESTED." The headlines at a one prior gym we were at involved a 20-something year old and a consenting 16 or 17 year old. He only served a few years. I guess he did not have to register as a sex offender because it was consenting and he pled guilty as there was evidence in writing. Now if I was a parent at that gym (and not the parent of the athlete involved), I would view it negatively and it would impact my thoughts towards the program. But I am a stick in the mud that way. It was so awkward explaining to a elementary age child why her cheer gym imploded.

 

[John Butler]

Wow... this thread was alarming. Age has EVERYTHING to do with the answer on this one. If the child is under 18 then, as others have mentioned, there are serious reprocussions, regardless of whether or not the parent is ok with it. If the law is being broken, all it takes is another parent unhappy with the special treatment that athlete may be getting to call the cops and the whole thing blows up.

If they are both adults, then it's really a non issue. Sometimes you can't choose who you fall in love with! The only issue it may create is a feeling of favoritism, but what gym in the country doesn't already have that problem... LOL!!!

 

[Rudags]

Coaches should not date ANY athletes. Regardless of the age from either of them. Shame on gyms not having a Zero Tolerance Policy and having it in some sort of a handbook.

 

[WorkToWin]

Coaches should not date ANY athletes. Regardless of the age from either of them. Shame on gyms not having a Zero Tolerance Policy and having it in some sort of a handbook.

that would alarm me as a parent, reading, "athletes and coaches will not date". It would make me wonder if they have had a problem with it and it would give off the impression of pervy coaches...

 

[socratesofcheer]

Wow... this thread was alarming. Age has EVERYTHING to do with the answer on this one. If the child is under 18 then, as others have mentioned, there are serious reprocussions, regardless of whether or not the parent is ok with it. If the law is being broken, all it takes is another parent unhappy with the special treatment that athlete may be getting to call the cops and the whole thing blows up.

If they are both adults, then it's really a non issue. Sometimes you can't choose who you fall in love with! The only issue it may create is a feeling of favoritism, but what gym in the country doesn't already have that problem... LOL!!!

Actually, there are serious repercussions no matter if the child is 16,17, or 18. They just have different names for it in the court system.

I'm curious if folks would let their kid cheer at a place where it is "ok" for the coach to date a kid on her team.

 

[imrichhowboutu]

I would just like to let you know that the age of consent is two-fold. The typical age of consent for most states is 16. HOWEVER, when there is an authority figure involved, which includes coaches, the age of consent is then 18. That is why you see a teacher on the news every other year going to jail for relations with a 16 or 17 yo boy.

If you are an authority figure and are having relations with someone under 18, that is considered statutory rape.

 

[ErinS]

that would alarm me as a parent, reading, "athletes and coaches will not date". It would make me wonder if they have had a problem with it and it would give off the impression of pervy coaches...

I don't think a "no fraternization" policy should be alarming to parents. I don't think coaches should date athletes, I also don't think they should really hang out together outside of the gym (houses, parties). I don't think a 23 yr old coach needs an 18 year old boyfriend/girlfriend any more than they need an 18 year old drinking buddy. It opens the door to a whole new realm of allegations. If you're okay with the coach-athlete situation, then how about a 21 yr old teacher and 18 yr old student scenario? Separate the two (coaches and athletes) and call it a day.

 

[notimeforthat]

I'm sorry... If I have an 18 year old daughter that I pay thousands of dollars a year to be at a all star program for instruction then I would like to have some sort of security knowing that the coaches are going to act professional and know that she is off limits. Same thoughts on her going off to college. She should be off limits to staff!!
I have seen a few gym romances in the past and let me say havent seen anything good come out of any of them!

 

[WorkToWin]

I don't think a "no fraternization" policy should be alarming to parents. I don't think coaches should date athletes, I also don't think they should really hang out together outside of the gym (houses, parties). I don't think a 23 yr old coach needs an 18 year old boyfriend/girlfriend any more than they need an 18 year old drinking buddy. It opens the door to a whole new realm of allegations. If you're okay with the coach-athlete situation, then how about a 21 yr old teacher and 18 yr old student scenario? Separate the two (coaches and athletes) and call it a day.

not all of the coaches are even 23. what about an 18 athlete supersenior and a 19 year old coach? You should not allow it at all?

 

[fullpass]

Ack! Never ok. If the relationship is that important (and both are consenting adults) then one should leave the program. If it's not important enough to leave the team/job then I guess it's not that important at all is it?

 

[quitthedrama]

Coaches should not date ANY athletes. Regardless of the age from either of them. Shame on gyms not having a Zero Tolerance Policy and having it in some sort of a handbook.

I couldn't agree more. Even if they are both of age, you are going to get nothing but drama, no matter how careful those involved try to be.

 

[WorkToWin]

I agree if the majority, unless if they are both legally adults, and the coach isn't the athlete's coach. if it is another coach in the gym i definitely think it could work

 

[ErinS]

not all of the coaches are even 23. what about an 18 athlete supersenior and a 19 year old coach? You should not allow it at all?

If you're in a position of authority, no, it should not be allowed at all. It doesn't matter if its just cheerleading...a cheer gym is still a place of business. I'm a 25 yr old librarian at a university thus putting me in the same age range as most of the students here. I would never go and decide to date a 24 yr old student, even though we are both adults.

So he/she can wait until the 18 yr old stops cheering. After all doesn't "true love wait"?

 

[chyeeaaa69]

I don't see a HUGE issue with coaches and athletes dating, however I do see where it could cause problems. If the athlete is 18, like many have said, go ahead and do it. They are an adult, they are (supposed to be) responsible enough to handle any bad things that come out of the relationship, and (once again, supposed to be) mature enough to leave their romance outside of the gym. I wouldn't want to sit there and watch an athlete make out with the coach, but what they do outside of the cheer gym is their business.
If they're under 18, I think parents, gym owners, etc. must be aware of the relationship, as a lot of the drama of a break up (if it were to happen) would fall on them aswell (not in all cases, and I'm not saying an 18 year old wouldn't bring the drama to the gym). I understand favouritism, and I understand what might happen if they break up, but in my opinion, let them do what they want outside of the cheerleading gym, unless it's harming/interfering with the gym environment.

 

[WorkToWin]

If you're in a position of authority, no, it should not be allowed at all. It doesn't matter if its just cheerleading...a cheer gym is still a place of business. I'm a 25 yr old librarian at a university thus putting me in the same age range as most of the students here. I would never go and decide to date a 24 yr old student, even though we are both adults.

So he/she can wait until the 18 yr old stops cheering. After all doesn't "true love wait"?

so are you against a 40 year old manager dating a 40 year old employee, because she/he is in a place of authority? (in like an office setting)