All-Star For The Parents - What Coaches Want

[kkinsley]

I send multiple emails, give notes home, post info on facebook and the club website and still there is always one parent who texts me just to check as she wasn't sure!! She always manages to do this while I'm at work or just about to start a class then complains when I dont get back to her asap. This is my biggest peeve with parents, please just read the information you are given and when you see it on 4 different formats saying exactly the same thing please trust it. It really is my only issue with parents as we have had a very nice group for the last few years. They all understand that as a single parent with a full time job on top of the 18 hours I spend in the gym this week that I don't always have the time to discuss things at the end of practice, like @Just-a-Mom I am also sprinting out the door. They do know however that if it is something quick I can talk to them during warm up or am happy to arrange a meeting. I do however have to kick a few out the door at 9.30 on a tuesday so I can let my sister free from babysitting my son and the other coach can pick up her daughter from swimming but they know why we need them to leave fast, I swear they probably spend another 30 minutes chatting in the car park sometimes though.

All that being said I have worked in 2 gyms that had no respect between coaches and parents so I fully understand both sides. I left them because I didn't like it so I know why parents would get annoyed. At one the owner had no interest in dealing with parents, she felt they should be paying her for the honour of coaching their children yet she treated some of them appallingly. At the other I saw some of the worst behaviour by both parents and coaches, thankfully I was only covering for 6 months and I tell you I ran far away when I was done.

 

[KRECCheer]

I also don't think things like this post should be discussed like they are. I couldn't imagine if I did something like this for my career job. I think this is ridiculous.
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I respectfully disagree. I sometimes take to the fierceboard because its a great place to vent about things. While I would never tell a parent how to be a parent, I would ask that they do not put words in my mouth like a stated above. There are things like this posted for professionals by professionals. Look at the yahoo home page everyday, or the CNN Living section online. There are always ways to make yourself more "professional." There are things posted like how to act, what not to say to your boss, even silly things like what not to eat at work because it smells horrible. Threads like this can be helpful because as a coach if I read something that a parent (from other parts of the country) posts that they dont appreciate in their gym I can say "oh man, I didnt realize I did that until it was laid out for me in words." Same for a parent. One might not realize that the phone call to the coach was over an hour but now they do. Keeping it respectful and going all out and saying "Tammy so and so is totally a rude biatch who needs to follow this set of rules" are totally different things.

 

[RaRaMama]

My favorite parents don't put words in my mouth and make up false stories. I would never promise a child that they could be a flyer. NEVER. That conversation would just never come out of my mouth. So when I hear that a parent is saying "Coach K promised that Abby Cadabby could fly this season and thats what she does best" I just want to smack them. A position in cheerleading is never guaranteed, especially one in the air.
PS: Sir, Abby is about twice my biggest flyers size and she cant pull a heel stretch, bow, scorp, or scale..... And no, you cannot dress up like a wizard at competition.

Can I triple shimmy this? Maybe even a quad....I feel like I owe you more than one, seeing as how I brought the wizard upon you I swear, I had no idea....NONE. I wouldn't wish that kind of ridonkulousness on my worst enemy, much less my favorite coach

 

[KRECCheer]

Can I triple shimmy this? Maybe even a quad....I feel like I owe you more than one, seeing as how I brought the wizard upon you I swear, I had no idea....NONE. I wouldn't wish that kind of ridonkulousness on my worst enemy, much less my favorite coach

Im not one for costumes. What can I say?

 

[LittleMiss]

I can't imagine being a coach or owner. It is hard enough trying to teach children that are sometimes distracted, tired, disrespectful, etc. and know that most of the parents are watching you do your job.

The way I look at it is that we send our children to school everyday and the only times we have contact with the teacher is if there is a problem, parent/teacher conferences, school concert, etc. Why do parents think that cheer, or any other sports, have different boundaries than that of school? If you don't believe in the coaching and the program you have chosen to be a part of then maybe your should go somewhere else.

The things that parents speculate and make-up to make themselves feel better is unreal. Last night one of the new parents was telling me about a discussion that the other moms from our team were having. It was in regards to if X amount of kids are able to get Y skill we will compete a level higher. I quickly told her that she shouldn't believe anything unless it comes from the coaches mouth.

 

[tumbleyoda]

Please understand that I love your child for who they are and and they bring to the table. I don't compare them to others on her team, in her age range, neighborhood, hair color, or shoe size. They are unique. I think you should relax a little and stop worrying about how she compares to Suzy. Everyone mature and develops in their own time. The same is true with skill acquisition. I want her to get that next skill as well. But for me it is the process as well as the end result.

I understand you were a gymnast, cheerleader, power tumbler or coach. I know you are concerned for her/his progress but it is hard for anyone to listen when two or three people are trying to coach them on different things at the same exact time. Can we work together? Because right now she is not mad at herself for not getting a skill. Right at the moment she is upset because she is not pleasing you.

All children learn skills at different pace. If you have true questions I will be happy to sit down with you and develop a plan to address your concerns. Just allow me to do it at a time where I am not taking away from another child who is waiting for me to work with them.

Thank you for taking the time to book a private at least a week ahead instead of waiting for the last minute and complaining you can't get in because I am booked. Thank you for letting me know ahead of time that you can't make it so I can possibly get someone else in that spot.

Most of all thank you for allowing me the priviledge to work with your child.

 

[Mamarazzi]

The things that parents speculate and make-up to make themselves feel better is unreal.

And the way @kkinsley 's previous boss acted - The athlete should be at my gym so that they can have the honor of being coached by me - is just as unreal. I have seen this too many times to count.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

The way I look at it is that we send our children to school everyday and the only times we have contact with the teacher is if there is a problem, parent/teacher conferences, school concert, etc. Why do parents think that cheer, or any other sports, have different boundaries than that of school? If you don't believe in the coaching and the program you have chosen to be a part of then maybe your should go somewhere else.

Because I didn't spend 6 months choosing her school. And because I don't pay them thousands of dollars. And believe me, I'm just as active in her education (probably more so now that we are in Chicago Public Schools - what a nightmare). And if I do try to talk to her teacher before or after school she doesn't tell me to call her and that she'll talk to me on her time because she is busy or that she is trying to have a life.

 

[LittleMiss]

Because I didn't spend 6 months choosing her school. And because I don't pay them thousands of dollars. And believe me, I'm just as active in her education (probably more so now that we are in Chicago Public Schools - what a nightmare). And if I do try to talk to her teacher before or after school she doesn't tell me to call her and that she'll talk to me on her time because she is busy or that she is trying to have a life.

I don't know but maybe I feel differently because I do pay for my Children's education and when I was looking for a gym I used the same criteria. I guess we are lucky to have a really large program a few miles from our home. Sometimes size can play a part in having your child's needs met because of the teams available and amount of coaching staff. I know I didn't pick the gym 1 mile down the road because it was small and wouldn't satisfy my needs and wants for my daughter.

 

[REA Dad]

I don't have my clients at work calling me on my cell phone trying to discuss matters. It should be the same for cheerleading.

I don't like how cheerleading gyms get to fall outside of the professional atmosphere. While things are different, I think a lot of coaches and parents could learn a few things if they treated it like any other business

Yeah your clients buying janitorial supplies from you is exactly like a gym owner/coach that can actually make or break a young child with their actions and/or comments.

Buying/selling products is a little different then teaching young children a sport.

 

[imrichhowboutu]

Yeah your clients buying janitorial supplies from you is exactly like a gym owner/coach that can actually make or break a young child with their actions and/or comments.

Buying/selling products is a little different then teaching young children a sport.

Yes it is different, but I provide services with 100's of thousands of dollars in marketing dollars on the line. So while it isn't the same, it does matter a lot for many companies. And I am able to go home without getting 25 calls a day.

Do you call your children's teachers after school? No!! You contact them via email or call the school to schedule a meeting.

 

[NJ Coach]

Do not bring up another child in any conversation I have with you about your child. I will not discuss another athlete or how your cp compares.

Please don't coach your child. I'm the coach, you be the mom/dad. Let me be the one who makes corrections, disciplines in practice, teaches new skills ect. You be the parent and comfort, cheer and hug. Listen to what a terrible person I am because I conditioned the team, or how much fun practice was because a new skill was learned. Be the support, let me be the voice.

DO NOT use witholding practice as a punishment. You are not only punishing your child, but every other child on that team.

Cheer as loud as you can at competitions. Go crazy for your kid and everyone else's. As much as these kids will look to me to see how they're doing in the routine, they're looking for you too. Remember, everyone has bad days. If today was a bad day, then we work hard for tomorrow. Do not punish because of a bad day. Things happen.

Everyone needs to be on the same page. Coaches, Parents and kids. That's when things work the best. If there's an issue, question or concern we need to talk about it. I need and want to know. If you have an issue with me, please tell me. If you don't have an issue with me, please tell me Sometimes the only time I hear from parents is because of an issue. I like to hear the good stuff too!

 

[mommy2mygirls]

Do not bring up another child in any conversation I have with you about your child. I will not discuss another athlete or how your cp compares.

Please don't coach your child. I'm the coach, you be the mom/dad. Let me be the one who makes corrections, disciplines in practice, teaches new skills ect. You be the parent and comfort, cheer and hug. Listen to what a terrible person I am because I conditioned the team, or how much fun practice was because a new skill was learned. Be the support, let me be the voice.

DO NOT use witholding practice as a punishment. You are not only punishing your child, but every other child on that team.

Cheer as loud as you can at competitions. Go crazy for your kid and everyone else's. As much as these kids will look to me to see how they're doing in the routine, they're looking for you too. Remember, everyone has bad days. If today was a bad day, then we work hard for tomorrow. Do not punish because of a bad day. Things happen.

Everyone needs to be on the same page. Coaches, Parents and kids. That's when things work the best. If there's an issue, question or concern we need to talk about it. I need and want to know. If you have an issue with me, please tell me. If you don't have an issue with me, please tell me Sometimes the only time I hear from parents is because of an issue. I like to hear the good stuff too!

BEST POST YET! Love it!

 

[dawgshow]

I can't imagine being a coach or owner. It is hard enough trying to teach children that are sometimes distracted, tired, disrespectful, etc. and know that most of the parents are watching you do your job.

The way I look at it is that we send our children to school everyday and the only times we have contact with the teacher is if there is a problem, parent/teacher conferences, school concert, etc. Why do parents think that cheer, or any other sports, have different boundaries than that of school? If you don't believe in the coaching and the program you have chosen to be a part of then maybe your should go somewhere else.

.

I must be different because I have a lot of contact with my kids' teachers. They have each given out their home numbers and encourage questions after hours. I've only taken them up on that a couple of times, but often email or text them after hours.

 

[REA Dad]

Do you call your children's teachers after school? No!! You contact them via email or call the school to schedule a meeting.

Your logic/example is confusing (btw, teachers do call me after hours and vice versa).

Should a parent talk to a coach while they are coaching (yes according to your example) or should it be after practice is over and everyone is on their personal time (which you said shouldn't happen in your other post on this topic)?