All-Star Funny things your coaches say!

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hahahah i just laughed so hard at the bag of nickels coach
 
Tonight my coach was basing with me cuz the other base was sick. We were in the middle of the stunt and we base really close together how you're supposed to. So when we double downed I was like "JENN! SHAVE YOUR LEGS! They're stabbing me!" and we started dying laughing and my coach(Jenn) was like "Sorry Perryman! That wasn't what I was expecting to hear after hitting a stunt!" and it was the funniest thing ever. Then we did another stunt and in the middle of it she's like "Sorry Perryman I need to shave my legs" and we all start laughing then when we double downed she caught and was like "Move back to center!" and like jumped over to center and dragged the whole group and she fell on the floor and our flyer fell out of the cradle on the floor and we were all just laughing on the ground. Then she goes "I'm so sorry I can feel my leg hair stabbing you now!........... I'M NEVER SHAVING AGAIN!!!!" hahahahahahahhahahhahaha It was the funniest thing ever. :)
 
"1 2 your a mess 5 6 7 8"

*Team is running* Coach, "Are you tired?" Team, "NO!" "Okay then keep running!"

We hate the word fullout so my coach says "I want you guys to do all the elements" or "Alright, I want the jumps, the stunts, all tumbling and the pyramid"

If we were ever afraid of throwing tumbling, my old coach would say "If your scared go to church!" haha

this.
 
I do that with my kids too and they always laugh...Ill be like

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,ew
1,2,3,4,this,is,sloppy, go again

If my kids need a pick me up froma bad run through or something, I will warm their jumps up and I will make a fart sound for each toe touch. They normally laugh and we can pick the positive mood up!
 
While the team I coach was getting choregraphy done there was this one girl who just could NOT get it together. She was beyond lost so are choeagrapher looks at her and goes " (Insert name here), figure it out, you are just walking deduction" .. We all started cracking up, even her! And now when our kids look like a hot mess the other coach and I refer to them as a "walking deduction"

omg this totally reminds me of a competition we went to once and our coach said, "If you are the deduction, you'll be wearing a shirt to practice that says 'I was the deduction' for the rest of the season."
 
last season when we were learning our dance, this one girl wasnt doing it right and was having a hard time picking up the steps so our choreographer yelled,"(insert name) YOU LOOK LIKE A DYING WHALE!" our entire team died on the spot. another time that season the same girl got hit in the head while stunting and got a fat lip. so our coached called her 'fishhead' cuz apparently thats what she llooked like lol.
we still occasionally call her fish head lol
 
This one day at practice the pyramid was a mess and a coach that was visiting/helping out said "girl you look like hurricane katrina"
 
"So I don't care if you have rug burn from your forehead to your nipple... You get right back up and work that rug burn like it's the best damn rug burn anyone's ever seen." Oh the quotes from this weeks practice could have me laughing for days :) Love my coachessss
 
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