OT Inappropriate Discussions With Athletes

[darlingsmomx4]

My coach was wondering why I was falling out of all of my stunts at practice and she as well as all of my bases asked me if I gained weight and told me to go on a diet! Anybody else disgusted by a coach saying this?

In no way should this comment even if it is a joke ever be made to a child or young adult. My 14 year old is not my cheerleader my 5 year old is but my 14 year old spent 4 months of this year in an eating disorder treatment program and it is comments like this that put pressure on a girl to try to improve a weight that is acceptable and healthy. I hope you told your parent what was said and I hope that coach/ owner was told that this is unacceptable. Stay strong, I saw you said that it triggers issues with your ED ask for help if you need to in order to stay on a healthy and stable meal plan.

 

[Deleted member 41136]

In no way should this comment even if it is a joke ever be made to a child or young adult. My 14 year old is not my cheerleader my 5 year old is but my 14 year old spent 4 months of this year in an eating disorder treatment program and it is comments like this that put pressure on a girl to try to improve a weight that is acceptable and healthy. I hope you told your parent what was said and I hope that coach/ owner was told that this is unacceptable. Stay strong, I saw you said that it triggers issues with your ED ask for help if you need to in order to stay on a healthy and stable meal plan.

Thank you! I have gotten help for my ED and my parents watched her say that kind of stuff to me!

 

[AliciaM]

Your parents didn't care?

 

[Deleted member 41136]

They did care but they saw it as a joke while I took it as a real comment!

 

[CheerBank]

Please no one take this the wrong way. I am in no way condoning what the coach said to the OP.
Our kids compete in a sport where a huge component consists of kids lifting and holding other kids in the air. When a flyer does get too heavy to fly - and we all know it can happen mid-season due to growth spurts and/or poor eating habits - and a coach is considering replacing them because of this, is there any way to tactfully tell this to the athlete without triggering a bad reaction?
Additionally are we as parents being responsible keeping a kid in a sport that somewhat focuses on weight/body image if that kid has already has an ED or seems like there is a tenency toward one?
Just food for thought. No pun intended.

 

[Cheer Dad]

Please no one take this the wrong way. I am in no way condoning what the coach said to the OP.
Our kids compete in a sport where a huge component consists of kids lifting and holding other kids in the air. When a flyer does get too heavy to fly - and we all know it can happen mid-season due to growth spurts and/or poor eating habits - and a coach is considering replacing them because of this, is there any way to tactfully tell this to the athlete without triggering a bad reaction?
Additionally are we as parents being responsible keeping a kid in a sport that somewhat focuses on weight/body image if that kid has already has an ED or seems like there is a tenency toward one?
Just food for thought. No pun intended.

I have known many flyers and parents who understand and acknowledge they know Suzie will be grounded due to size. 2 gyms ago we had a beautiful flyer who was just to much for the bases. She knew it was coming and didn't blame the coaches or kids for for it. She still flew in pyramids because she sas good just not speciality stuff.




**nothing brings out the Haterz and SM's better than day 1 of a bid comp. #jealousmuch**

 

[12stepCheermom]

Please no one take this the wrong way. I am in no way condoning what the coach said to the OP.
Our kids compete in a sport where a huge component consists of kids lifting and holding other kids in the air. When a flyer does get too heavy to fly - and we all know it can happen mid-season due to growth spurts and/or poor eating habits - and a coach is considering replacing them because of this, is there any way to tactfully tell this to the athlete without triggering a bad reaction?
Additionally are we as parents being responsible keeping a kid in a sport that somewhat focuses on weight/body image if that kid has already has an ED or seems like there is a tenency toward one?
Just food for thought. No pun intended.

Thanks for this. I've avoided this thread for self-preservation because my opinion wouldn't be popular. But, you know me...I'm not likely to keep it to myself forever.

There is such a thing as a kid to big to fly.

It doesn't mean they're overweight or unhealthy. Mine is built like me. I don't think either of us are overweight (yeah I could lose 15) but it still wouldn't make me a feasible flyer. I'm 5-9 and 160. She's built like me. I knew she'd come out of the air eventually when I recognized she could only fly on an older age group. Sooner or later there is no older age group.

So, while I don't understand the context of the coaches comment to weigh in here specifically, my reflection is that coaches are generally in a lose lose situation.

Either they have a conversation in some manner about why a flyer may not continue to fly (and get the "you're calling my kid fat/building bad body image/how dare you") reaction, or they stay silent and eventually take the flyer down and get the "I don't understand why you won't let her fly anymore" reaction.

When a flyer comes down because of their size (and that is legitimate and happens) a coach basically has to decide if they're going to be in insensitive a$$hole or the aloof, non-communicative evader. I think that's a bad position for all parties involved.

 

[Deleted member 41136]

Thanks for this. I've avoided this thread for self-preservation because my opinion wouldn't be popular. But, you know me...I'm not likely to keep it to myself forever.

There is such a thing as a kid to big to fly.

It doesn't mean they're overweight or unhealthy. Mine is built like me. I don't think either of us are overweight (yeah I could lose 15) but it still wouldn't make me a feasible flyer. I'm 5-9 and 160. She's built like me. I knew she'd come out of the air eventually when I recognized she could only fly on an older age group. Sooner or later there is no older age group.

So, while I don't understand the context of the coaches comment to weigh in here specifically, my reflection is that coaches are generally in a lose lose situation.

Either they have a conversation in some manner about why a flyer may not continue to fly (and get the "you're calling my kid fat/building bad body image/how dare you") reaction, or they stay silent and eventually take the flyer down and get the "I don't understand why you won't let her fly anymore" reaction.

When a flyer comes down because of their size (and that is legitimate and happens) a coach basically has to decide if they're going to be in insensitive a$$hole or the aloof, non-communicative evader. I think that's a bad position for all parties involved.

Never meant to say that there are not flyers being taken down for their size! I only meant to say that I was upset and disgusted by what my coach had said to me!

 

[Cheer Dad]

Never meant to say that there are not flyers being taken down for their size! I only meant to say that I was upset and disgusted by what my coach had said to me!

I don't think anyone took it like how you described, flyers coming out of the air, and knew what your point was.



**nothing brings out the Haterz and SM's better than day 1 of a bid comp. #jealousmuch**

 

[Deleted member 41136]

Thank u to all that are encouraging me! It really helps!

 

[12stepCheermom]

Never meant to say that there are not flyers being taken down for their size! I only meant to say that I was upset and disgusted by what my coach had said to me!

And as I mentioned, I wasn't actually referring to this specific situation at all, just in general terms.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I cannot lie and say that I haven't told my kids that you can't have "abs for dayyzzzz" like you say you want on instagram, when you're the first one to say "Let's go to Chick Fil A!" after practice.

Some folks might think that's insensitive.

 

[Cheerfun2]

Thank you, onecoolcheercoachnowmom! My child would eat junk 24/7 if I allowed it. I appreciate my child hearing the downsides of crappy eating from someone other than me.

 

[CheerBank]

I cannot lie and say that I haven't told my kids that you can't have "abs for dayyzzzz" like you say you want on instagram, when you're the first one to say "Let's go to Chick Fil A!" after practice.

Some folks might think that's insensitive.

Not at all. As I've told cp many times, it's all about choices.

 

[omgitssydthekid]

Thanks for this. I've avoided this thread for self-preservation because my opinion wouldn't be popular. But, you know me...I'm not likely to keep it to myself forever.

There is such a thing as a kid to big to fly.

It doesn't mean they're overweight or unhealthy. Mine is built like me. I don't think either of us are overweight (yeah I could lose 15) but it still wouldn't make me a feasible flyer. I'm 5-9 and 160. She's built like me. I knew she'd come out of the air eventually when I recognized she could only fly on an older age group. Sooner or later there is no older age group.

So, while I don't understand the context of the coaches comment to weigh in here specifically, my reflection is that coaches are generally in a lose lose situation.

Either they have a conversation in some manner about why a flyer may not continue to fly (and get the "you're calling my kid fat/building bad body image/how dare you") reaction, or they stay silent and eventually take the flyer down and get the "I don't understand why you won't let her fly anymore" reaction.

When a flyer comes down because of their size (and that is legitimate and happens) a coach basically has to decide if they're going to be in insensitive a$$hole or the aloof, non-communicative evader. I think that's a bad position for all parties involved.

I usually just tell kids that I need them as a base more than I need them as a top girl, it doesn't mean they aren't talented, it's just that I need their talent to be used elsewhere. However, if I'm not approached about the situation, I usually won't open up the conversation (unless I have to pull a kid out of the air midseason) but once a new season starts, all spots are fair game.


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