All-Star Advice To Gym Moms....

[Mamarazzi]

I don't see how buying an iPad is condescending, but then I again I don't view the world in that manner. My advice on the iPad was leaning towards the fact that you don't have to carry big books around, and that it's convenient because if you get sick of reading you you can watch Netflix. Once again, sorry to offend anyone with that advice, I was being genuine and didn't realize that everything anyone says on here will be viewed in a negative manner and used against you.

Thank you, at least, for the apology.
I didn't find your post condescending or offensive so much as naive. A huge number of cheer parents have no earthly clue how "the other half" lives. I'm sure this is way more info than you care to have about my personal life, but let me briefly explain that my household bills get paid, groceries get purchased. Beyond that, my kids have more cheer clothes than any other type of clothes because they're either hand-me-downs, freebies from comps, or I had a fundraising credit on my daughter's account, which I chose to use for cheer wear. I work very, very late nights doing very, very menial work, just so my kids can do what they love to do. I don't mean that this is their hobby, I mean that this is their life. Therefore, it's mine too. Being able to purchase an iPad, for our family, would be the ultimate luxury. I read books - sure they're heavy, but it's free to borrow them from the library. I can't afford a Netflix subscription, but I'm not ashamed to say we bootleg the heck out of movies. I can't afford much, outside of what I can fundraise for at the gym. I can't build a "cheer room" in my home. I can't even replace my son's Nfinities that were stolen at the gym. But I will be there. Every possible moment that I can. For every skill, for every fall, for every smile, for every second that they love this, and for every second they don't.
I've had conversations with my friend, Stephanie, about the fact that our kids didn't make it to level 5 because of what they have. It was in spite of what they didn't have that got them there. Tenacity, theirs and ours, strength, theirs and ours, and drive, theirs and ours, made our kids who and what they are.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I don't sign my kid up for privates, that's how I afforded the iPad.

I love our 1 hour drive, we talk about everything. How practice went, what she's working on, the Circus Afro video on you tube, how she has improved, school, her future, boys, bullying, it's our time. I'll never complain about the drive because it's my favorite part.

Ah me too! Yay - we found a common ground. I cherish our drive - it's a little over an hour each way (sometimes more, but that extra time is eaten up by me stressing about traffic and being late ) I love that time together - we talk about everything.

(As for the iPad - still agree to disagree. Completely different economic status I think. My kids don't take privates either - we can't even afford to dream about them. An iPad still isn't in my foreseeable future. Cheer almost isn't in our foreseeable future at this point:help: )

 

[kaliangel01]

I personally attend all her practices, privates and tumbling classes. I watch through the glass but obviously dont yell and talk to her while she is practicing. She gets frustrated when learning a new skill but I always tell her just do your best but she also knows that if she is not executing a skill her coach can tahe it out or have someone else do it.I like to know what she is progressing and all that. I am very supportive. There was an issue of another cheerleader bullying her and if I wasnt watching my daughter I would have never knew because the coach was not even aware of it. When my daughter learns a new skill I am the first to congratulate and pump her up so that she knows that it wasnt something small since maybe some other girls in her level can do it and she should always be proud of all achievements big or small.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Thank you, at least, for the apology.
I didn't find your post condescending or offensive so much as naive. A huge number of cheer parents have no earthly clue how "the other half" lives. I'm sure this is way more info than you care to have about my personal life, but let me briefly explain that my household bills get paid, groceries get purchased. Beyond that, my kids have more cheer clothes than any other type of clothes because they're either hand-me-downs, freebies from comps, or I had a fundraising credit on my daughter's account, which I chose to use for cheer wear. I work very, very late nights doing very, very menial work, just so my kids can do what they love to do. I don't mean that this is their hobby, I mean that this is their life. Therefore, it's mine too. Being able to purchase an iPad, for our family, would be the ultimate luxury. I read books - sure they're heavy, but it's free to borrow them from the library. I can't afford a Netflix subscription, but I'm not ashamed to say we bootleg the heck out of movies. I can't afford much, outside of what I can fundraise for at the gym. I can't build a "cheer room" in my home. I can't even replace my son's Nfinities that were stolen at the gym. But I will be there. Every possible moment that I can. For every skill, for every fall, for every smile, for every second that they love this, and for every second they don't.
I've had conversations with my friend, Stephanie, about the fact that our kids didn't make it to level 5 because of what they have. It was in spite of what they didn't have that got them there. Tenacity, theirs and ours, strength, theirs and ours, and drive, theirs and ours, made our kids who and what they are.

(That would be me. :kiss:There, Fierceboard...my real name!)

This. All of this. Times a million. I think condescending was a poor choice of words on my part cheermeup and for that I apologize. Everything Mamarazzi said is my life. So I can't wrap my head around "Buy an iPad" because I can't even buy Nfinities. Every second of my life is scheduled around cheer, paying for cheer, going to school so one day I can work less and mom more. I couldn't go to Starbucks during practice because they'd throw me out for loitering - because that couple dollars on coffee is our bill money.

As Mamarazzi said, this is probably more than you'd ever want to know about me - and definitely more than I'd like most people to know. Like Mamarazzi, my bills are paid, and cheer is paid. Beyond that, not much left. I think that there are a lot of cheer parents who can not begin to comprehend what "I can't afford that" means to some people. To a lot of us it doesn't mean "I can't afford that unless I cut this or that out, then I could pay for an iPad". It literally means "I do not have that much money in my possession".

So I guess since this is the advice thread, I'll go with: Don't give advice to someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes and know what shoes they're wearing right now. Your situation isn't my situation.

 

[cheermeup]

I thought this was a general thread for every cheer parent, my advice was general, not towards any individual or their situation.

Everything people post here doesn't apply to everyone. I take what I can and leave the rest.

I'm going back on hiatus from here, I feel like everything I say gets manipulated to be an attack on someone else.

I'm a nice person and I can't deal with this. I'll try this board again when comp season starts.

 

[SheCheers]

Sorry I know this is off topic but you have just mentioned one of the things that really really pushes my buttons. Why has our society progressed to the point that we have to have 9 year olds "choose" which sport she wants to concentrate on?

I am so happy when I hear parents, like yourself, say "hey, wait a minute, my kid does not need to pick A sport, she can be good at more than one thing and maybe 'a' sport actually improves her skills for 'b' sport." Good for you!

More parents, especially those parents of that kid that specialized and only does one sport, need to recognize everyone can contribute to the team, if the coach picks my kid to make the team, you shouldn't be the one questioning whether she is "good enough" or "dedicated enough".

My kids have to choose one sport (or activity). Not because I think they need to excel at one thing, but because there are 4 of them and only 2 of us, and only so much money to pay for it all. If she could cp would be doing acting classes, gymnastics, cheer , hip hop, guitar, swimming and tae kwon do. That's not feasible, she has to do one. Cheer it is. I wish I could let her do all those things, but I can't.

And while I do give so much of my life to my kids, I don't think if I want one day to myself, not hauling a kid to some thing, that makes me less of a parent. In fact, I guarantee it makes me a better one (not than you, than me not having a day to myself). Lol. This is borderline craziness!

 

[notyourcheermom]

[quote="50 Shades of Grey ,[/quote]

Audible member, had like 600 5 stars, so downloaded. Whew-whew. Think I've been blushing driving the car.

Love all the coach/moms on here, too, and veteran moms.

 

[cheerinatorXdad]

I guess my feelings about comparing my child to other kids...the reality is my kids will be compared to others their entire lives. For a job interview...at college tryouts...heck even at all star tryouts...they are being compared to others so that decisions can be made on who's best for the job. So yes, I do tell my kids to strive to be better than everyone else. If sally gets her straight leg scorpion and I know my CP wants to be center flyer, then of course I'm gonna tell her she better be working her straight leg scorpion. If sally gets a really hard tumbling pass and my CP dreams of being last pass, I'm gonna tell her she better be working on something even harder. Don't blame the coaches for where your child ends up in a routine...teach your child to work hard enough to be noticed by her coaches so that she gets what she wants.

This gets a super-shim too.

What a novel idea; work hard and earn your reward!! I wish we could get 20-30 million more Americans to think that way.

 

[ntlgnt1]

These threads always astound me. When in the history of parenting has any mom ever taken unsolicited advice on how to parent THEIR child, and followed it??? I know I haven't. I parent my kids how I think I should, not how you think I should.

Sorry. Just something that gets under my skin on here - I never understand the constant need people have to point out what all the other moms are doing wrong.

Let me just say that this post made me want to do my fiercest impression of F5's dance...both of them and a remix to boot, :cheering: !!!

 

[JulieP]

I thought this was a general thread for every cheer parent, my advice was general, not towards any individual or their situation.

Everything people post here doesn't apply to everyone. I take what I can and leave the rest.

I'm going back on hiatus from here, I feel like everything I say gets manipulated to be an attack on someone else.

I'm a nice person and I can't deal with this. I'll try this board again when comp season starts.

I think your intentions were great, and I think that taking what you want and leaving the rest is a good strategy around here. Most of us around here are loud-mouths, so you have to have thick skin.

 

[The Sixth]

Lol...I think my advice now, would be to stay away from the Internet!

 

[sltAL]

Sorry I know this is off topic but you have just mentioned one of the things that really really pushes my buttons. Why has our society progressed to the point that we have to have 9 year olds "choose" which sport she wants to concentrate on?

I am so happy when I hear parents, like yourself, say "hey, wait a minute, my kid does not need to pick A sport, she can be good at more than one thing and maybe 'a' sport actually improves her skills for 'b' sport." Good for you!

More parents, especially those parents of that kid that specialized and only does one sport, need to recognize everyone can contribute to the team, if the coach picks my kid to make the team, you shouldn't be the one questioning whether she is "good enough" or "dedicated enough".

I understand what you're saying, but speaking only for my child, we did have to choose. She came to this sport 3 years ago not even knowing how to do a round off, after playing travel softball since she was 5. It was only supposed to be an intro tumble class during a 2 month softball break.

We did both the first two years, but it did get to the point that we had to make a decision. Not just for her- but for her teammates. It was not fair to her teams for her to miss practices, ballgames, or competitions. We make a 3 hour round trip drive to cheer and it doesn't leave a lot of time to do other things. Even if we were close by, there would still be problems.

We pay so much money to do this, and I will admit that it really ruffles my feathers when we can't practice stunts or the pyramid because the same kids repeatedly miss practices because they want to play volleyball, do school cheer, be on the track team, try out for drama, etc. You know the amount of commitment it takes when you sign up for this very expensive sport. In my opinion, if you can't fulfill that commitment to your team, you shouldn't sign up.

I realize that is probably not what you're talking about- if your kid is able to do multiple sports without missing practices, games, or competitions, then I think that is great and should be encouraged. It has just never worked out that way for the cheer teams we've been on. There is always conflict. And it almost always drives our coaches insane.

Sorry for the mini-rant. Nothing personal and I didn't mean this to be aimed at you. I'm mainly just griping about some of the parents/kids in our gym lol.

 

[TheVipersMom]

My kids have to choose one sport (or activity). Not because I think they need to excel at one thing, but because there are 4 of them and only 2 of us, and only so much money to pay for it all. If she could cp would be doing acting classes, gymnastics, cheer , hip hop, guitar, swimming and tae kwon do. That's not feasible, she has to do one. Cheer it is. I wish I could let her do all those things, but I can't.

And while I do give so much of my life to my kids, I don't think if I want one day to myself, not hauling a kid to some thing, that makes me less of a parent. In fact, I guarantee it makes me a better one (not than you, than me not having a day to myself). Lol. This is borderline craziness!

But don't you have an iPad? Lol jk
your a great mom to all your kids!!


I want an iPad but the only way I'm going to get one is if I win the raffle at the gym ?haha

For me I would have to want an iPad enough to save for it. I have an iphone so that will have to do!
I don't read books just the fierceboard. I also really hate movies I just never think they are worth 1.5hrs of my time. I know everyone is different so thats just me in general!

Sure I could go by one but I actually rather pay for privates. $60 a week for an hour a week since I got here and before that I was spending $90 a week for 2 hrs in privates a week and honestly I do often think what I could have bought with that money instead but then I realize if I didn't I'd probably just spend it going out to eat more which is never a good thing so it's probably better spent on privates. Lol

However I really respect Just-a-Mom and several others. I think everyone does the best they can do for their kids. If their kids are seeing its everything they can do to get them to every practice, be at competition and support them 110% then that's all that matters. Long as our kids see it they appreciate it!

There are so many great moms out there and especially on here that's why I love this board!

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Agree.

When it come to privates, if your child does not want to work after a couple of lessons, I will give you your money back and stop the privates. I will allow one "I'm having a bad day" goof off private but that is it. Most of the kids and parents I have worked with tell me my privates are harder than those they have taken with other coaches cause I actually make them work the thirty minutes. We have fun, but we are going to work too. I refuse to take any parents hard earned money if their child does not want to put the effort into the lesson. I have enough kids that want that spot than to to just watch any kid goof off for thirty minutes. I would rather it be productive for all of us.

If their child doesn't put in the effort you still are and you should be paid for being a professional coach and treated accordingly by the child and parent. Personally I would love to afford private lessons even every once in a while. I am blessed that my kids are good at learning skills quick during their tumbling session - love their coach and wish I had the money for even semi privates. Very frustrating to those moms who realize that time and money both have value and to watch other parents throw it around and then treat coaches like they are their own personal babysitters.

 

[mybabywantstotumble]

Hahahaha! I have to do knives upside down and forks right side up. No idea why, I just have to. But what is this thing you speak of..."cp unloads dishwasher"?

forks down, knives down, spoons up. sounds like a hook from a snoop song.