All-Star Frustrated With Cheer Princess

[Funfunfun]

I've been frustrated in a similar situation for a few years. However, I've not pushed because CP has to want to do it for herself. If she doesn't & stays at the same level another 2 years then so be it. I've taken the "Only you can prevent forest fires" approach. I'm supportive & offer plenty of extra opportunities without being pushy. She hasn't gotten any new skills but is a happy, pleasant & well rounded teen and a lot can be said for that. Good luck!

 

[TheVipersMom]

Right after my cp got her tuck in February a few weeks later she started having problems.

My cp is and always will be an emotional child. She is definitely my daughter!!
Anyways she started landing her tucks in the touchdown position. She had plenty of height on them but you could almost see her squatting to the ground and putting her hands down. Of course my cp was not ok with this. She would cry and say "I lost my tuck", she would go throw it again and do the same thing. This battle happened for a few weeks. Tears before, after, and during practice. I was so frustrated and not because she wasn't landing them right but because she was crying. Her crying bothered me so much every day she had practice I did not look forward to it. I would bribe her by saying I will buy you ice cream if you don't cry today; if you don't land your tuck that's fine just get back up and shake it off and try it again just please don't cry.

It didn't work!!!

So then I was really getting annoyed with the crying I said, "Jaylen I don't care if you work your tuck, I don't care if you don't throw your tuck till next year. Just go do your BHS and your fierce pass and we will come to the tuck later it is not important!"

She being a perfectionist she didn't accept that and was like no I'm going to throw my tuck and she would and she would still have the same problem!

Then we moved and the problem resolved itself day 1 at the new gym.
The very first tuck she threw at the new gym was on dead floor and she landed it the same touchdown position way!
I was like ahh we still have this problem and I waited for the tears and omg they did not come!!
She got back up and did it again since he asked and she landed it fine the second time.Since that day she has not had a problem and they have gave her so much and she is working layouts and everything is right in the world!

Now my cp is a lot younger then yours so that will explain some of the tears lol but anyways maybe your cp would like a change of scenery. Don't take her out of the gym she is at but maybe take her to a local gymnastics place and enroll her in a tumbling class there. That way she doesn't feel like she has expectations. She will be with kids who don't know what she is capable of so they wont be shocked or thinking anything if she doesn't land her tuck. She will be with a coach that hasn't worked with her before so she may feel less stressed because its not like he is expecting her or disappointed in her when she doesn't land it. Also it may help to have an outsider view maybe they see her doing something they can correct.

I know my Cp's new gym has changed little things about the way my cp tumbled and although both can be correct I have had my cp on several occasions say wow it feels so much easier now.

What I'm saying is (sorry I always take so long to get to the point) but maybe she could benefit from maybe a tumble class elsewhere. Anyways regardless of wether you do that or not I'm sure she will come around. She seems awesome and hey tucks would scare me too! Good luck to her and let us know how it goes!

 

[jcheermom]

OK, I have different perspective on this. My CP doesn't have the tumbling issue but her best friend does so I see this from a different angle. Her parents are telling her well why can't you just tumble like my CP ( meaning my daughter) and she tells them that she is not my CP and my CP is so much better than she is and she will never be my CP. Tip #1-never compare your CP to her friend, it doesn't help, it makes her feel even more insecure. So her friend comes to me and says that her parents don't understand and they keep saying that it's just muscle memory and she just needs to get it through her head to tell her body what to do and do it. Tip #2-this isn't working for my CP's friend. She says that her parents just don't get it. She says unless you have gone through a mental block or an 'issue' with tumbling, you will not understand what she is going through. My CP's friend feels that I listen and understand more than her parents do but all I do is listen and not push her or make judgement on what she is doing but I just let her know that I am proud of her. I don't feel that her parents are doing anything that any other parents would be doing with an athlete with some problems with tumbling. I see that her parents are frustrated and feel helpless. What I do know is that I have never been in a parents' shoes in this instance, but only in this predicament, but feel that I can see the frustration from both my CP's best friend from the pressure she's getting from her parents which is definitely NOT HELPING her and the feelings of helplessness of her parents. This is a touchy situation. I have seen quite a few athletes, not CP's friend, but others who have NOT regained or returned to tumbling after a fall. All athletes are different and will come around and return to their skills at their own time and pace. I hope everything works out for you and your CP!!!

 

[jcheermom]

Right after my cp got her tuck in February a few weeks later she started having problems.

My cp is and always will be an emotional child. She is definitely my daughter!!
Anyways she started landing her tucks in the touchdown position. She had plenty of height on them but you could almost see her squatting to the ground and putting her hands down. Of course my cp was not ok with this. She would cry and say "I lost my tuck", she would go throw it again and do the same thing. This battle happened for a few weeks. Tears before, after, and during practice. I was so frustrated and not because she wasn't landing them right but because she was crying. Her crying bothered me so much every day she had practice I did not look forward to it. I would bribe her by saying I will buy you ice cream if you don't cry today; if you don't land your tuck that's fine just get back up and shake it off and try it again just please don't cry.

It didn't work!!!

So then I was really getting annoyed with the crying I said, "Jaylen I don't care if you work your tuck, I don't care if you don't throw your tuck till next year. Just go do your BHS and your fierce pass and we will come to the tuck later it is not important!"

She being a perfectionist she didn't accept that and was like no I'm going to throw my tuck and she would and she would still have the same problem!

Then we moved and the problem resolved itself day 1 at the new gym.
The very first tuck she threw at the new gym was on dead floor and she landed it the same touchdown position way!
I was like ahh we still have this problem and I waited for the tears and omg they did not come!!
She got back up and did it again since he asked and she landed it fine the second time.Since that day she has not had a problem and they have gave her so much and she is working layouts and everything is right in the world!

Now my cp is a lot younger then yours so that will explain some of the tears lol but anyways maybe your cp would like a change of scenery. Don't take her out of the gym she is at but maybe take her to a local gymnastics place and enroll her in a tumbling class there. That way she doesn't feel like she has expectations. She will be with kids who don't know what she is capable of so they wont be shocked or thinking anything if she doesn't land her tuck. She will be with a coach that hasn't worked with her before so she may feel less stressed because its not like he is expecting her or disappointed in her when she doesn't land it. Also it may help to have an outsider view maybe they see her doing something they can correct.

I know my Cp's new gym has changed little things about the way my cp tumbled and although both can be correct I have had my cp on several occasions say wow it feels so much easier now.

What I'm saying is (sorry I always take so long to get to the point) but maybe she could benefit from maybe a tumble class elsewhere. Anyways regardless of wether you do that or not I'm sure she will come around. She seems awesome and hey tucks would scare me too! Good luck to her and let us know how it goes!

 

[jcheermom]

I have seen this same thing happen with my CP when she was younger. She would perform well at a gymnastics gym where she was taking tumbling privates but when she would take her skills back to her home gym, she was intimidated by her peers and most likely by her coaches. She has since got over this after transfering to another gym 2 years ago and no longer seems intimidated and I believe it is due to the positive environment and the great coaches she now has at her gym.

 

[Aussiekat]

Some might be embarrassment as well. I am sad to say that it was half fear and half embarrassment for me. I was trying to get over my block of bhs and having people sitting around and knowing that was what I was dealing with made me feel like a fool. An hour and a half of sitting there having a sulk and I honestly felt it would be more dignified to get up and walk out rather than finally go and do it (heavily spotted). In a weird round about way it would be like I was giving in and they were right all along. I didn't want to hear "I told you so, I told you you could do it, I told you it wasn't that bad" so in a way I almost wanted to fail to prove to them that they aren't right about everything, and also if I busted it would be vindication for the months I've been stuck and I could walk away and give them the finger, stick out my tongue and say "I TOLD YOU I SUCKED AT TUMBLING". Glad to say I finally swallowed my dignity, crawled over to my coach and did some not-entirely-hideous spotted bhs

ps. I'm in my 20s, I competed at worlds 2012 and the indignity of having the gym watch a worlds competitor struggle with a bhs was the absolute PITS.

 

[CheerBank]

My friend's daughter is going through this right now and I feel so bad both for my friend and her CP. She fell out of a back tuck and now is afraid to throw it. Her mother is trying to be supportive and we keep telling her that is will come back (the kid had a layout and was working on her full) but she is saying that she will not allow her daughter to be placed on a level 3 team this season until it does.

 

[proudmom]

Don't push. If she's a teen, even asking her about it is going to annoy her lol. Support and encourage. She'll come back to the tuck. It's not a natural thing to tumble. Her brain is telling her that it's dangerous, and falling probably just confirmed that in her mind. Her coaches are doing what they're supposed, working other skills to build her confidence. As long as she keeps tumbling, she'll work herself out of it. It's so easy to want to say "get over it" (trust me, I think it plenty of times in various situations), but until she learns to turn her brain off, she's going to struggle with it.

Keep doing the mom thing, let her know that it's ok. She'll get there.

Thank you so much. I had to laugh when I read the first line. You know my daughter. This post was very helpful.

 

[Deleted member 382]

My daughter had a mental block and I found Debbie Love's web site very helpful. (http://fortheloveoftumbling.com/tag/mental-blocks/) A big part of her coming out of her tumbling block was her understanding that she was the only one who would be able to overcome the block. The coaches and I could give her the tools and encouragement, but ultimately she would have to overcome the fear on her own. She did have a coach that was very patient with her, who wouldn't let her give up, but never caused stress by pushing too hard either. She also worked on always trying to throw something with her coach every time she tumbled. (She was blocking on a bhs, so if she knew she wouldn't throw rather than stressing, she would do a spotted bwo. Then the next time she would try the bhs again. Heck, sometimes she would even just do sit/swing, but she did something.)

My daughter blocking again is a constant worry to me. When I talk to her, we always talk about how everyone has good tumbling days and bad tumbling days. We celebrate the good days. On the bad days I remind her to take the bad tumbling days for what they are worth - a bad day.

 

[NJ Coach]

Thank you so much. I had to laugh when I read the first line. You know my daughter. This post was very helpful.

haha...I can remember coming home from school and my mom asking me what we did...standard reply was "nothing"

 

[ScottyB]

sometimes falling a few more times can help be the biggest motivator in making sure you land on your feet. just give her some extra confidence to take into practice/privates but don't harp on just the tuck, that will make her focus in on just the tuck resulting in her being scared of it still.

 

[chyeeaaa69]

I'll say what many have said; don't push.
I'm sure she's just as frustrated if not more frustrated than you are, mental blocks are a HUGELY frustrating thing. No matter what anyone told me or tried to get me to do, when I had a mental block, I wouldn't do it. I don't know why, I just wouldn't, my body wouldn't allow me to. They take time mostly. Debbie Love has some GREAT tips, but from my experience, it just took time for me to get over it.

 

[MaineStar234]

A girl I have cheered with for years got her full 2 or so years ago. She took one bad fall in a layout and blocked on all skills including backhandspring for a monthish. She slowly regained back all her skills besides the full. Has been pulling them all perfectly fine for about a year. She's worked very hard to get her full back, but often would chicken out and get discouraged and leave tumbling class when other kids were having success with their fulls. This Sunday, she FINALLY pulled her full on the floor again all by herself. As peers, we all encourage her, compliment her, push her in a helpful way and were kind to her when she would get upset over not throwing it. Eventually her will to perform the skill on a level 5 or restricted 5 team overcame her fear and embarrassment of potentially falling and she went for the skill with pride and courage. The next day at tumbling she landed 4 great fulls and then touched down on the 5th, and didn't let it discourage her. Once you realize that other people are going to fall too, and some people take more time to get a skill, you can laugh at your falls and use them to push you harder. (This personally took me a while to learn
).
ps: Her mom stayed out of the situation, encouraging from a distance without being overbearing. Had her mom tried too hard to push her to regain the full, the girl would have broken down and probably not achieve what she did this week.
Good luck with your daughter!

 

[cheerfeverX2]

The same thing happened with my daughter and the more aggravated I got or the more I pushed her the more she stopped progressing. I eventually just backed off and let her ride out her mental block. Now she is throwing her back tuck like its nothing

 

[FamUsM0m]

I know all too well how frustrating it is to watch your child take 5 steps forward and 50 steps back. My cp has gone through at least 2 mental blocks. They were not from falling, they were simply from fear of nothing. I wasted so much energy and time getting frustrated with her. It was hurting our relationship. Finally I decided (after some convincing from the coaches and some friends) to just let her be. She finally came around. She is now throwing her full. I have noticed what a difference it makes to just "let her be" because she has fallen a few times throwing her full but she gets right back up and does it again. Because she now realizes how it feels to fall and understands it's not as bad as she thought. You just have to let her be...if she wants it bad enough, she'll get it