All-Star Funny things your coaches say!

I need to start writing down the ones that Brett @ Spirit says to the kids during tumbling class...seriously more entertaining then actually watching my kid tumble.

Tancie this was only funny because the girls had never heard Coach Jen swear in the last 10 years! So when that came flying out it was a BIG shock!

I also am pretty glad that my kids haven't seen this!!!!

You know when you have that flyer that looks A MESS in tosses? An old coach used to say "It looks like someone threw a wet cat in the air"..... Now I just yell "WET CAT! DO IT AGAIN!"

One time my coach had to leave us for a minute unattended and told us to stay productive and "don't run around with your chickens head cut off." Definitely meaning to say don't round around like chickens with your heads cut off. We were laughing about it the whole time he was gone and when we explained to him why we were laughing when he came back he didn't quite get what he said wrong..

Oh and I almost forgot, "squeeze your legs in your bhs or I will cut you"

My grandma can do that and she aint got no legs.

do you know what the definition of insanity is? performing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result so CLEARLY some of you need to be in straight jackets...stop dipping on 3 if it's on 7!!!!

two diff coaches. one girl had her legs apart in a bhs and he said girl im not your gyno im your cheer coach now close those legs and try again.

we were doing a handstand and the boys would pick us up and we were straddling their legs and some boys had trouble with it and he said boys i know you are unfamiliar with this area so if it smells funny i will go get spray from the office and we will try again. get them close to your face. haha

Rudags said:

I do that with my kids too and they always laugh...Ill be like

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,ew
1,2,3,4,this,is,sloppy, go again

If my kids need a pick me up froma bad run through or something, I will warm their jumps up and I will make a fart sound for each toe touch. They normally laugh and we can pick the positive mood up!

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The other night I said "1 2 3 4 ARE YOU. KIDDING. DO IT. AGAIN"

My kids will bust on me for saying "y'all" and they always know I mean business when I say "REALLY?!" lol
I always find myself yelling at them during the dance, like "FIERCE DIVA WORK IT WORK IT TRANNY TRANNY GIVE ME MORE" They just bust out laughing.

My old co-coach once said to a girl in the front "You better make better faces than that, or else I will HIDE YOU at the back of this mat for the whole routine and your mother will NEVER be able to get a good picture of you" lol

Or with minis I used to say "I had better not see those thumbs or I'm going to bite them off"

MwS1jess said:

two diff coaches. one girl had her legs apart in a bhs and he said girl im not your gyno im your cheer coach now close those legs and try again.

we were doing a handstand and the boys would pick us up and we were straddling their legs and some boys had trouble with it and he said boys i know you are unfamiliar with this area so if it smells funny i will go get spray from the office and we will try again. get them close to your face. haha

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Funny. But hope this was an open team...otherwise....seems just a little on the inappropriate side.....JMO

MwS1jess said:

two diff coaches. one girl had her legs apart in a bhs and he said girl im not your gyno im your cheer coach now close those legs and try again.

we were doing a handstand and the boys would pick us up and we were straddling their legs and some boys had trouble with it and he said boys i know you are unfamiliar with this area so if it smells funny i will go get spray from the office and we will try again. get them close to your face. haha

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These are very very innappropriate. If I heard either of these I would fire a coach for saying these, I am actually disgusted by reading this. I hope this is not someone still coaching in your facility.

airbornecheer said:

These are very very innappropriate. If I heard either of these I would fire a coach for saying these, I am actually disgusted by reading this. I hope this is not someone still coaching in your facility.

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it is an open team and we are all over 18

Rudags said:

Thats inappropriate...

Aside from that, back on topic. Luke Johnson coaches me last year and he would grade our routines based on stores, "That was definatley a Walmart performance. Lets work for Marshall's." I remember one time we did really good and he was like "You all just went from Marshall's to Bloomingdales!!!!" <3 Luke!

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Luke got really angry at me because I couldn't say "7" properly when counting

cheermommaRN said:

I need to start writing down the ones that Brett @ Spirit says to the kids during tumbling class...seriously more entertaining then actually watching my kid tumble.

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We used to accuse him of lying awake at night thinking of new analogies to invent. He definately has a way with words.

when tic tok's fall..,. he sings the teams music... "

"my first s kiss when a little like this boom DEDUCTION!!!!!!"

"what in the world is that crap."

" looks like a tranny just slapped you with a fly swatter in the middle of your pass.... Get up and try again!"

at competition ..." Now this is the time were it up to you. i cant help you out on the floor. so you better go kill the ( number of teams in our division) tranny's that are in the battle zone with you. then we can celebrate with the glitter dance".

" Now every body hold your arm up like your holding you new coach bag. and now reach in it a find your coach glitter and open it. now take a pinch but only a pinch. and just toes it up and shimmy!!!!!!"