All-Star Coach Has Affair With Girl On Senior Team, Would You Let Your Child Cheer Their?

[mariahnicole1216]

Just as a reminder, morals are subjective. Just because many people automatically think 'Absolutely not! That's not right!' doesn't mean everyone does.

I'm pretty sure if this situation happened, and was confirmed to be true my mom would probably let me decide what I wanted to do. I'm old enough to know that in my house, a relationship like that is unacceptable. So it would really depend on how well the coach was doing his job. If he was still professional in the gym, I really don't see why his relationships are for me to judge.

 

[drewpate]

I am not 100% sure of her age, really you can attend HS up until your 21 but I am sure she isn't 21. She was a senior in HS last year so she may have been 18yrs at the most? He is in his mid to late 20's. He just left his wife a month ago. But for those of you that think it's okay, their are a ton of 18yr old seniors in High School, does that mean it's okay for their teachers to date them or vice versa? Where my husband works he and I couldn't even had dated if I was his secretary or worked under him. I don't know if her parents knew, it's a small town and I am sure they knew. I don't think her parents where ever at the gym or even the comps? Being that she is 10yrs older then my cp and on a different team I never really saw her to know her. From what I understand the gym owners did confront him but he denied it all. Also I believe it's against the law for employers to say bad things about whom they employee? Other people tried to tell her she was making a mistake. This is coaches 2nd affair. His 1st was years ago, with another coach (he was single and she married a child was created from this). That gym owner closed up shop and moved away. So what ever, life moves on all is forgiven that ended and people do make mistakes. But what about the 2nd time (this time around) are "Hoe" coaches okay? The new owner was more then willing to let him stay with some limits (he is not to be their after a certion time, basically trying to make it so he would never be their by himself). He left for the other gym before our season was over. It's sort of a bittersweet, the old and new owners didn't want him but we are a cheer gym with out a coach and who wants to drop everything to come to a tiny gym. Anyway, his ex-wife may have told the new gym all of this, but then she won't get any child support if he doesn't work either. At the end I guess as a parent you have no idea what kind of history your coaches have?

You don't know as much as you think you know about this situation. You've made it very easy to figure out who the coach you're talking about it is through past posts, and while I'm not confirming denying or defending this coaches character or actions, since it is not my place to, you should think twice before coming on here making accusations that could ruin his career. I know all the people involved here and hate hearing these accusations thrown around for all their sakes. Please leave other people's dirty laundry alone. Even if every detail is true it's not the right place or any of your business.

 

[ceanz-victoria]

If it was me, I'd still let my kid cheer there. Because at the end of the day, and regardless of whether what he did was right or wrong, a good coach is a good coach, and that is what I'd want to pay for.

 

[sltAL]

Is there a "position of trust/authority" qualifier in the States? Here the age of consent is 16 in general, but 18 if the person has a position of authority over you, eg. a teacher/coach. (It's generally frowned upon in that case even if over 18, and many institutions have rules against it due to eg. conflict of interest in marking assessed work, but obviously not a legal issue.)

I have no idea. This was about 6 or 7 years ago when this happened, so the consent ages may be different by now. This was a parent sleeping with their kid's friend.

And to make things worse- it actually started about 3 months before the kid's 16th birthday, but they both swore it wasn't until after, so the police couldn't do anything. The parents couldn't provide any proof that they were together when the kid was 15, so nothing ever happened. As long as the two of them denied it, the police pretty much had to take their word.

 

[wiscogirl]

The problem isn't one of morality for me; a coach having an affair with his or her athlete is wrong. The coach is in a position of power and trust and that would violate the trust. But, in this situation, is it a FACT? Did he have an affair with the athlete? There are always rumors and gossip it is discerning the truth that has become an art. How do you know what happened? I would have a difficult time removing my daughter from a good coach if there was only 'gossip' to support this story. I would be more vigilant, but I don't think I would pull her. I've seen too much of this lately - the power of words - they are strong enough to ruin peoples lives.

 

[CheerMomNTx]

If she is of consentual age, these are my thoughts....just because you can doesn't mean you should.

What is this teaching the other kids in the gym? The coach on the other hand, as the mature adult and authority figure, he should know better.

I would not want my child there.

 

[MyDaughterCheers]

I just meant that its typical PA. Age of consent is 16, but it's still corruption of a minor if they are under 18. And the the position of authority thing. Why not just say 18?

If you're familiar with our liquor laws, they're just as convoluted.

I guess I didn't cast my vote before, but I would not send my kid to a gym where a coach had participated in criminal sexual activity with a minor.

I think the intent of this law is to avoid the situations of high school kids having sex and the boy getting arrested if, for example, he's 18 and she's younger. In that case, it can be argued that she consented and he didn't take advantage of her.

As for the liquor laws, I really think we are the only state that you can't buy beer in the grocery store. . .unless of course it's a specially licensed store that the state approved that isn't too close to another store. lol

 

[kristenthegreat]

If she is of consentual age, these are my thoughts....just because you can doesn't mean you should.

What is this teaching the other kids in the gym? The coach on the other hand, as the mature adult and authority figure, he should know better.

I would not want my child there.

Same. As an athlete, I wouldn't want to be at a gym where the coach has had an affair with an athlete. Being with an athlete when you're the coach is bad enough, but cheating to me signifies a lack of commitment to other things. If you care little enough when you're married with a kid, what else might you not care about?

Cheating is one thing (I don't like it, but it doesn't affect me so it's not quite as heavily involved in my decision). Cheating with your ATHLETE is a whole other ball game.

 

[Lazydaisytoo]

I think the intent of this law is to avoid the situations of high school kids having sex and the boy getting arrested if, for example, he's 18 and she's younger. In that case, it can be argued that she consented and he didn't take advantage of her.

As for the liquor laws, I really think we are the only state that you can't buy beer in the grocery store. . .unless of course it's a specially licensed store that the state approved that isn't too close to another store. lol

Right, but the way I read it, if one is 18, and the other is 16, the older one could still be charged with misdemeanor corruption.

Who knows what horrors could occur if we were able to buy a steak AND a bottle of wine at the grocery store! Hamburger, rolls, and a six pack? Definitely a recipe for disaster! It's nice that they have loosened up a little.

 

[XtremeWpg]

I see a few different ways to look at this
1) Moral outrage about him having an affair (1st, 2nd, 45th whatever) is going to be subjective. I'm not going to change doctors or coaches or grocery stores because someone had an affair. But thats my moral compass, no one elses

2) Having a relationship with an athlete (affair or not) is again subjective. If this girl is 18, and consenting, its purely a poor life choice. If she's a minor, whole other ball game to me.

I would let my athlete cheer there, if I had one. Plenty of people make horrible life choices but that doesn't make them terrible at their jobs. It also doesn't mean that this coach is going to attempt to have a relationship with every 18 year old on the team.

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Just as a reminder, morals are subjective. Just because many people automatically think 'Absolutely not! That's not right!' doesn't mean everyone does.

I'm pretty sure if this situation happened, and was confirmed to be true my mom would probably let me decide what I wanted to do. I'm old enough to know that in my house, a relationship like that is unacceptable. So it would really depend on how well the coach was doing his job. If he was still professional in the gym, I really don't see why his relationships are for me to judge.

It is not a matter of morals for me. I would contend to say a coach that is not capable of keeping his/her impulses (sexual, physical - say he hit a cheerleader) in control and accepting the professional boundary of a coach and cheerleader is not a good coach even if he produces results. I am sure there are things that coaches in our gym do outside of work that would not agree with my moral code (cheating on a spouse like supposedly occurred in the example the thread started with) but if it comes into the gym and involves the boundaries that they as a coach should have then that is where I say no way.

 

[cheermuse]

His disrespect to his marriage and family...hmmm not even gonna comment on that portion of the story.

The relationship with athlete on team...is SO inappropriate on EVERY level. If you as a coach/teacher/etc feel the need to cross this line. I have no respect for you as a person nor your abilities in your profession. Would my child continue to cheer there NO. Something of this nature was the main reason left previous gym. There was talk about this among athletes and parents but I saw myself some examples of this inappropriate behavior. I refuse to be apart of that foolishness.

 

[BuegeSmalls]

No but I would let them cheer there

I'm sorry. I had too.


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[ssccxnce]

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out the error in the title with the amount of grammar nazis on here

eta. smalls beat me to it.. but seriously it took that long

and to add to conversation, honestly it depends i know me personally i probably would not feel comfortable as an athlete knowing my coach is with a girl on the team mainly because it feels like im being seen as a potential 'mate' regardless of the coach actually wanting to be with anybody on the team or not. Now if your comfortable with still being there and know not to put yourself in a comprimising position then i do not see why it is such a bad thing to have them coaching as long as owners, athletes and parents are aware of the basis of the situation.

 

[ErinS]

No but I would let them cheer there

I'm sorry. I had too.


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Thank you. I've been dying a slow death with the title....and the other errors.