All-Star Craptastic Allstars Rumors/questions

[BubbleToes]

Is it true that you make all of your athletes cover themselves in crap to look tan and not brush their teeth so they match the yellow on the uniform?

Well, the first part is true. We only let the kids cover themselves in crap because it keeps them out of harms way. Don't want them in tanning beds or in the sun, because after all........the safety of our kids is our biggest concern.

And the yellow teeth are just a bonus to the overall effect of our look, but don't be silly......we let them brush once a week. But this policy has some benefits...a few Senior members have actually have lost a few teeth and we actually pay for gold teeth ourselves to replace them. They really sparkle in the lights at a competition!

 

[rockymountainthigh]

I can't believe that you're getting criticized for your uniforms! Showing the girls' crapholes isn't vulgar, it's innovative! Haters need to realize that Craptastic is all about pushing the limits and being creative- so why not express it through teeny tiny uniforms?!

 

[worldsring09]

Which summer camp will Crap doo doo?

 

[CoachJessNHS]

What are the requirements for Craptastic All Stars?! I am interested in trying out. Seems like a fabulous program!!!!

 

[fullpass]

Of course, it's just like someone from Craptastic All-Stars to think that their poop doesn't stink, and they can make all sorts of wild accusations.

*I* am Susie's Dad? Well, what if I am, huh? All Susie wanted to do was her signature stunt during that whole "tick-tocks-on-the-pot-but-my-colon-won't-stop" Ke$sha remix. That's it. Nothing more. And your gym took that dream away from her and flushed it down the toilet.

After all we did for you. We ran your pro shop, worked your concession stands, and cleaned the gym every weekend. And believe me, cleaning the Craptastic gym is no picnic. Think about cleaning up after quadruplet infants times 100, and you get the idea. And all Susie wanted was to make Bedets. It was her dream to be on a level 7 team, but you didn't take her because, what? She couldn't do a forward roll and danced like a 60-year-old rhythm-less grandma? You even told us she had a "crappy" attitude. What the hell - the name of your gym is CRAPTASTIC ALL-STARS! Everyone at the gym has a crappy attitude. And pants.

So if this is how it's going to be, BubbleToes - if that is your real name - then be advised that Susie's NEW team is going to evacuate your bowels. Good day! And don't expect me to post more than 914 times in response to this thread from this point forward!

*How many more poster stereotypes can I hit?

Stop! Stop! Ow- I am laughing so hard it hurts! You people don't know a star when you see one!

Btw: I have personally laid eyes on the score sheets and time after time judges have said that Susie is BY FAR the crappiest flier they've ever seen so let's just be clear on their endorsement of her various talents.
As far as Susies new team- urine the big leagues now! Susie used to be number 2 and now she's number 1!!

So take that craptastic all duds!

 

[Mamarazzi]

So how come you didn't file a lawsuit when everyone stole your slogan, "We own 'the throne'?"

And who is doing your music this year, CrapFire, again? Their mixes are the $h**.

 

[ufomom]

evacuate your bowels.

*How many more poster stereotypes can I hit?

Sniff, sniff...I SMELL VOICEOVER!

 

[aybrandonallstars]

ummm... is this gym realll? haha

 

[Deleted member 1556]

ummm... is this gym realll? haha

they're the sh*t!

 

[lilpapsgirl]

Any idea if you'll expand the crappiness to other parts of the country...we'd love to have you in Florida!

 

[fullpass]

I just heard that you're holding super secret tryouts for your Level 7 team. I'm on my way over! The gps is broken but I can follow the smell. See ya soon!

 

[jiannib]

LOVE Craptastic! I really want to know how your flyers get such Crappy body positions!

 

[Angelica]

"why doesnt the boys on the team tumble better then the girls."

 

[cheermominnj]

ROFLMBO!!!!! OMG, this made my day! I can honestly say that CRAP made my day bearable. I love this CRAP! LMBO!!!!

 

[newcheerdad]

I just heard that you're holding super secret tryouts for your Level 7 team. I'm on my way over! The gps is broken but I can follow the smell. See ya soon!

Why bother? If they won't take our Susie, they won't take anyone.

In fact, I heard from Susie's best friend's cousin's naturopath that the Level 7 Bedets are SO super secret this year that they're only performing in super-super-super-secret competitions that you need $1,000 and a special password to attend. Guarantee that no matter where they perform, they'll stink up the place.