OT Huge Bullying Problem?

[xoxotumblerforeverxoxo]

I am so sorry for you... I know firsthand how hard it is to get bullied. If you ever want to talk, I would be happy to. Just PM me!

 

[nhgurlnh]

First, remember that their is a difference between bullying and conflict. From the school system's point of view, they don't want to get in the middle of what might just be high school drama. But, if you show them how extreme this has gotten and that this is repeated targetting, then it is bullying. Your school should pay attention.

I was part of a bullying case involving a friend of mine who was getting severely harrased in high school. She eventually ended up suing the bullies for harassment, and she won. But, it was a huge battle for her. She struggled with bullying for years from upperclassmen in school and some of the "popular" girls in her grade. A lot of it had to do with who she was dating when she was a freshman, but it turned into a huge problem that lasted for about 2 years before she did anything about. Not suggesting that you press charges, but these are things that my friend wishes she had done so it didn't have to go so far.

1. Document every incident of bullying. Take screenshots, and print them out. Save all text messages on your phone. If it happens in school, make sure a teacher, guidance counselor, ect is aware of the incident. Always tell your parents, because they can always help you and they will remember the details of specific incidents that you want to forget. I know remembering is painful, but it will help lead to an end to the bullying.
2. If any sort of harassment is happening in school, they HAVE to take action or else the negligent people WILL lose their jobs. In Massachusetts, the law has been changed to say that any incident of bullying that happens in or outside of school is a school problem, as long as the students involved all go to the involved high school. So, if it happens on Facebook, Twitter, Formspring, texting, gym class, math class, school bus, parking lot, football game, party, ect- the school is required to investigate. I don't know where you live so these laws might not exist in your state, but it is important for you to know that bullying is a hot topic, and no school system wants to be held responsible for neglecting a bullying situation. So, don't stop with the Administration of your school. They know what they should do if possible bullying is in question, so if you persist and show the documentation to the school, they know that their is a problem that they must investigate.
3. If your friends see the bullying as well, they can help. I was the person that went to the administration and reported the bullying of my friend. And by then, my friend had been sexually harassed by upperclassmen, threatened to be killed, gotten food thrown at her, beaten up, and hospitalized for depression. Every time one of these things happened, she and her parents would go and report it to the school, and the school would ignore it because they thought she was making it up. When more and more people started reporting that they had seen this bullying, the school finally started to investigate, and found the huge problem. So, if your friends can vouch for you, ask them to come with you or go alone to talk to your guidance counselor, principal, ect.
4. If it gets really extreme, go to the police. They must take action if you report harassment, and most likely you will see some progress in stopping the bullying. Have documentation to show them, because they can't deny what you have on paper.

I really hope you can get through this. People are absolutely cruel in this world, but I promise, my best friend who was bullied in high school is now a happy, healthy, college student who is enjoying life and doesn't even look back!

 

[kristenthegreat]

What everyone up here said!

This is something I don't like to talk about because it was VERY painful and traumatic, but in cases like this I don't mind speaking up:
I was verbally sexually harassed at the age of 13. Typing those words seems odd, because at the time of it happening, 'sexual harassment' was something you thought creepy weird old men did, not something a middle school boy would do. Every day on my bus ride home, this kid would ask me if I was dating this certain boy also on the bus (who kinda went along with the bullying), if I slept with him, other inappropriate stuff I can't even post on here. I was terribly awkward and socially shy at that age, so there wasn't anything witty I could say back. I tried ignoring it, tried telling him it wasn't funny and to leave me alone, but nothing work. It took me to a point where I came home SOBBING one day off the bus and I finally confessed to my mother. I don't think I'd ever seen her that upset and angry. The next day the Asst. Principal called me into her office and asked me what happened. Needless to say, every 8th grader on my bus got called in. The kid was in my art class (as was most of my bus), and he came up and 'apologized' to me. What did I do? I apologized to every person on my bus for making them do something about a situation that any decent person would have stopped (I know, high hopes for most middle school kids, especially girls lol).

Now I was lucky, you have an asst. principal who's doing nothing. But the problem is (not that this excuses them), they're ACTUALLY more afraid of you than you realize. IF you make a big stink about this, they can't ignore it and have to admit their perfectly-running school has more than average teen bullying problems. Most schools not only have to deal with backlash from mistreating victims, but from being too intrusive with kids who are actual bullies. They're told they can't invade their students online world because it's 'private', but the majority of bullying now takes place there and they can't stop it. Or heaven forbid these kids are popular or athletes, because THOSE issues are a whole other basket of fruit. Do what everyone's saying: document EVERYTHING, shut down your facebook/formspring/twitter/tumblr or make it so private that nothing gets through except from the people you choose, and if the admin continue doing nothing, go up the chain of command to the top. If the top does nothing, check your anti-bullying laws in your state..and head on over to the police.