All-Star Coaches Dating Athletes With Parent Approval

[JulieP]

Haha ok,
Since I'm still young enough to date quite a few athletes at my daughters gym.. Not that I'm interested.
How is that a problem?
If their not the coach at the gym how will it effect my child's placement?
It wouldn't, yes I admit so awkward if y'all stop talking and u have to see that person but how does it reflect on the gym?
I don't think a gym could tell me I couldn't date someone of age.. And who could prove we are dating? No one..
Now I would see a problem if I was making out with them on break or talking inappropriately to them at the gym. But if outside of my home I choose to date them then so be it!!

And no I'm really sorry it wasn't directed at you, it's just a general question for everyone since this is getting brought up. It may bring me some insight.. I'm sure the gym owners wouldn't condone it or want it to happen. Just don't know if they could stop it...

I am not saying a gym could stop you or anything, but I can imagine it would be awkward for your athlete- especially if it is their coach. Further, how uncomfortable would it be for everyone involved if it didn't work out? As a coach, I know that it would put me in a weird situation. Everytime the athlete gets put in the front row, moved up a level, etc- are people going to think they earned that spot? We all know how much drama there can be in a gym...

 

[east2westandbackagain]

I don't think it is appropriate at any age, no matter if they are of age or not, it totally diminishes the coach/athlete roll. Sadly, this sport is popular for Coaches dating athletes and people turning their heads, if I had a child and found out it was going on in our gym we would address it and leave. I don't even want to get on my soap box about coaches drinking with underage kids and athletes. So many coaches don't need to be in an authoritative position.

 

[TheVipersMom]

@JulieP
Oh I agree completely, I was just talking about dating another athlete not a coach. Yeah if I dated a coach I would not want it to be at my CPs gym!

I'd never want anyone to think my cp was given a spot because I was dating someone and not because she earned it.

 

[King]

While it could cause some uncomfortableness there is nothing legally wrong with adults dating (so a coach with a parent). It happens and people can find a significant other that are consenting adults. I am fine with adults making adult decisions.

But a coach and a kid? If someone hasn't graduated high school yet it is just wrong. ...trying not to write a novel ranting...

 

[Nia]

18 and up is what i say. But if it interferes in that athletes performance in a negative way then it would be a negative for me.

 

[MaximumAllStars]

Perception is reality. If a coach is dating an athlete, then age is thrown out the window when it comes to perception. Instead of hearing, "That coach, who is 18 and is dating one of the super seniors who is also 18 and they've been dating for 5 years and will be getting married after the season is over", people will perceive it as, "A coach is dating a cheerleader. That's disgusting. He should be arrested."

 

[John Butler]

Actually, there are serious repercussions no matter if the child is 16,17, or 18. They just have different names for it in the court system.

I'm curious if folks would let their kid cheer at a place where it is "ok" for the coach to date a kid on her team.

Actually, I believe the age of majority in all states is 18, so there are no laws that prohibit that. When you are 18 you can date a 70 year old and it doesn't break any laws.

In answer to your questions, it would depend on the exact scenario. If the child was under age and the coach was over 18, I would have a problem with staying at the gym, unless there was only 1 year difference, like 17 and 18. Some places let the young athletes coach, so some are 18. I def. wouldn't have a problem if they were both adults.

 

[Aussiekat]

If you're an adult and you're seeking your date's parents' approval, then that alone should make you think twice. And if you have to think twice about dating someone, then yeeeeeah, it's probably not a good idea.

 

[ztaprincess]

What happens if the athlete is 18 and a super super senior on the team (a sophomore in college) and the coach is a 19 year old that she cheered with before (on the team that athlete is on now). Say they have been dating for 2 years now, you are telling me they shouldn't be able to continue dating? They are an athlete and coach, but only have a year difference in age and have been together for a while so does this make it right?

 

[MissBee]

As a gym owner I would never allow any staff member to date any athlete. I don't care if they're a 20 year old open team member and the 21 year old coach of the minis. If they want to date that badly, one of them will step down from their position as a coach/athlete

 

[mollymags]

Going into this thread I thought, no, no, no, never appropriate. I stand by the idea that it's not ideal for an athlete and coach to form a romantic relationship that stemmed from their coach/athlete relationship in the gym, even if they're both of the age of consent. It's completely inappropriate and should never, ever be okay for a coach to be dating someone under the age of consent. I've seen this happen- the parents gave the couple their blessing, but it still caused a stir among the other parents in the gym.

I'm struggling with whether or not I think it's inappropriate for an adult on an open team that is truly made up of college aged athletes and above to date a coach from their gym as long as it's not the coach of their team. With a team of all adults, you (hopefully) should see more maturity and a better understanding of the situation from the team as a whole. It's not uncommon to see coaches on their gym's open team. In that situation, you're on the same level, you're peers rather than an authority figure and a student. Maybe it's just me, but even if coaches are not on the open team, I've always considered the adult athletes on an open team to be the "peers" of the coaches in the gym rather than the "peers" of the athletes on the younger teams in the gym.

On the other hand, I do think it's inappropriate for an 18 or 19 year old senior/super senior/super duper senior on a senior team to be dating a coach of any other team in the gym. While you can have "adults" on a senior team, generally the vast majority of the team are NOT "adults". I think this would cause more of a uproar among the younger athletes on the team and the parents of the kids on the team.

However, if you were to allow one but not the other, it would difficult to truly justify why 18 year old Suzie from Seniors can't date the 21 year old Junior 2 coach, but 20 year old Sally from the Open team can date that same 21 year old Junior 2 coach. I suppose it is safer to draw the line and say no dating between coaches and athletes at all.

But then there's this: if you have coaches cheering on your open team and they're not allowed to date any of their teammates because they are a coach, would you then tell the whole team that they're not allowed to date their teammates? If you ban dating teammates on that team because of that, do you then ban dating teammates on all the other teams in the gym?

 

[drewpate]

Going into this thread I thought, no, no, no, never appropriate. I stand by the idea that it's not ideal for an athlete and coach to form a romantic relationship that stemmed from their coach/athlete relationship in the gym, even if they're both of the age of consent. It's completely inappropriate and should never, ever be okay for a coach to be dating someone under the age of consent. I've seen this happen- the parents gave the couple their blessing, but it still caused a stir among the other parents in the gym.

definitely agree. My situation was unique, and the relationship would not have happened if I had been her coach, however we met years earlier as athletes, and she just happened to need a place close by to super senior and i happened to work there already, and it was with the owners blessing. You never saw an pda except for an occasional hug, and For what its worth, no drama ever happened. If i had been asked to be put in a position of coaching her, i would have respectfully declined.

I happen to have at the moment several attractive single early twenties girls that I coach in a class. Would I love to date any of them, heck yes. However, even though they are adults, I'm professional at my job and i'm not going to hit on them or ask them out. They are paying for a coach and that's what they get. I'm not getting paid to try to find Mrs Right, I'm getting paid to coach. If there are a lot of situations and or gyms where it is common place to date senior age athletes i have a couple of questions.

1.) If the parents are cool with it, did it not kinda seem weird that they were paying to get their daughter hit on? Weird.....

2.) If the owner is allowing it..... seems like bad business to me. I'm all for not interfering in an employee's life..... its still weird.

BTW-I'm not including open teams, while I respect gym owners who would have a policy against open team athletes not dating coaches...... I don't agree with that, I think there are big differences in open teams with people who are adults in more ways than their age (ie they graduated high school,) but thats up to each individual gym owner to decide.

I do happen to know some very good friends of mine who just got married, and he was her coach. However, she actually approached him 2 years after they aged out, and started casually dating. Funny thing was, he couldn't stand her when she cheered for him.

 

[WorkToWin]

so a youth 2 19 year old coach is off limits for a 19 yr old on the international team? i agree with you all, except i think there is that .01% of the time it should be okay and to say it's NEVER okay is making generalizations when there should be a few exceptions.

 

[chyeeaaa69]

I feel a bit odd in this thread, because I disagree with most of you...
I can see where problems would arise with parents dating coaches, so I might agree with that not being appropriate, but I'll put this situation into your head, because I know people in this exact situation. A lot of gyms pull coaches from their existing athletes, so let's say Jim and Sandy are dating, and Sandy gets asked to coach youth 2. Jim and Sandy are both on International 5, so by that account, Jim is an athlete, Sandy is a coach, why is it wrong for them to date?
Also, a question, because I'm not even 100% clear on the dating rules here (I know age of consent mainly applies to romantic relations). in the United States (now I know it's dependent on the state) is there a "legal dating age" per-say? I believe in Canada (now I might be a bit wrong here) a 14 year old can date a 19 year old, but no older, and should they decide to... make love... that 19 year old has now committed rape (as the age of consent here is 16, but like I said, I believe that only applies to romantic relations).

 

[pinksparklybow]

I'm going with the most extreme here. I don't think athletes should date a coach and I really even would want limited dating between coaches and parents. We can all think of situations where two "consenting adults" over age 18 were in a relationship and also worked/lived/coached/whatever together...and once the relationship ended it madet things very awkward for all those they interacted with (who's side are you on? did you see that look? oh now he/she is talking to someone else...how does the other person feel). I think "don't fish off the company pier" is an EXCELLENT philosophy. There is enough drama in cheer without these extra complications.