Sot Bullying

[Just-a-Mom]

I can not imagine the gym NOT handling it .....but I still have a problem with the OP calling out a gym when it was a coach he should have called out ! I will say it again his daughter was "blocking " LONG before this season ( or the coach ).The gym did not move her down or take her out of routine . She quit on a "team" 1 week before they were to compete. As a parent I would have never allowed that ..my CP would have competed because she owes that to her TEAM . You NEVER do that to a team . Who cares about the coaches or gym but quitting on your team ...? Wow questionable parental guidance !


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I'm not commenting on most of this, but if the coach works at sot, then they are responsible. A business is responsible for the behavior of everyone they hire.

Queation: if you go to Best Buy and have a horrible experience with Bob the tv salesman, do you go tell everyone that Bob sucks? Or Best Buy? I'm guessing Best Buy, like everyone else would. But what if other people love Best Buy and Bob? Would you still be mad about YOUR experience, or would you just sit back and keep quiet because someone else didn't have the same experience as you?


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[sports_girl]

Perhaps the OP felt their CP emotional health was more important than a competition.

Maybe I can only speculate but she cheered there for 3 years . In OP he stated that this has been going on for a VERY long time ;-/ IDK but sounded a bit strange to me .


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[sports_girl]

I'm not commenting on most of this, but if the coach works at sot, then they are responsible. A business is responsible for the behavior of everyone they hire.

Queation: if you go to Best Buy and have a horrible experience with Bob the tv salesman, do you go tell everyone that Bob sucks? Or Best Buy? I'm guessing Best Buy, like everyone else would. But what if other people love Best Buy and Bob? Would you still be mad about YOUR experience, or would you just sit back and keep quiet because someone else didn't have the same experience as you?


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Point taken .. And I do agree with you . BUT when I read his post it stated the owners were " "great guys ". He discussed it with at least one of them ( from a prior post ) and it went on for an extended period of time . I just can't process why she stayed on the team since may .A comp was this weekend . She quit last week .. Was someone trying to prove a point ? Hurt 30 other girls in the process ? Just trying to figure out timing ?!? Still a little strange for me .


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[Just-a-Mom]

Point taken .. And I do agree with you . BUT when I read his post it stated the owners were " "great guys ". He discussed it with at least one of them ( from a prior post ) and it went on for an extended period of time . I just can't process why she stayed on the team since may .A comp was this weekend . She quit last week .. Was someone trying to prove a point ? Hurt 30 other girls in the process ? Just trying to figure out timing ?!? Still a little strange for me .


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I don't know. Maybe something specific happened... the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I don't think it's normally ok to leave a team in a bind, but every once in a great while, you have to choose your child's side, over all else, no matter what other factors are involved. I'm not saying this is always the way, but there are circumstances where I wouldn't give one hoot about anyone else, just my kid.

I'd need a lot more info.

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[cheermuse]

Maybe I can only speculate but she cheered there for 3 years . In OP he stated that this has been going on for a VERY long time ;-/ IDK but sounded a bit strange to me .


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I don't find it strange. Sometimes as a parent when there an issue arises with a child and adult (coach, teacher, etc). The first response for most is too not be THAT parent and go postal. As a parent we try to take and step back and just keep an eye on things before over-reacting. In this industry, this type of behavior most of the time is not each and every practice, its sporadic but each incident hurts more than the last. As parents we sometimes try to give coaches/teachers the benefit of the doubt in hopes that things will get better. Attempting to start the next season with a clean slate but everyone has a limit to what they will and will not put up with. Sounds to me OP has reached that limit.

 

[BlockHead]

Maybe I can only speculate but she cheered there for 3 years . In OP he stated that this has been going on for a VERY long time ;-/ IDK but sounded a bit strange to me .


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Sometimes it can take some time to truly understand the damage that is being done to your child. When you see other children handling the criticism well, you might just think your child is making a bigger deal out of the situation than it really is. It took me quite awhile to really come to terms with the fact that the gym my daughter had been attending for a few years was not healthy for her. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to leave the gym. Even though she had tears before practice, she was so scared that she would regret leaving. I ended up making the decision for her to leave which she later on thanked me for. I wish we could have stayed at our old gym, but it was not worth it. Granted, I removed my daughter at the end of July. I am not sure how we would have handled it if it had been a week before the competition. That is a tough decision.

 

[BlockHead]

I don't find it strange. Sometimes as a parent when there an issue arises with a child and adult (coach, teacher, etc). The first response for most is too not be THAT parent and go postal. As a parent we try to take and step back and just keep an eye on things before over-reacting. In this industry, this type of behavior most of the time is not each and every practice, its sporadic but each incident hurts more than the last. As parents we sometimes try to give coaches/teachers the benefit of the doubt in hopes that things will get better. Attempting to start the next season with a clean slate but everyone has a limit to what they will and will not put up with. Sounds to me OP has reached that limit.

Exactly what I wanted to say, but couldn't quite figure out how to say it!

 

[sports_girl]

I don't know. Maybe something specific happened... the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I don't think it's normally ok to leave a team in a bind, but every once in a great while, you have to choose your child's side, over all else, no matter what other factors are involved. I'm not saying this is always the way, but there are circumstances where I wouldn't give one hoot about anyone else, just my kid.

I'd need a lot more info.

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Once again we agree we need more info .. Very vague . But I will stick by my post you don't leave 30+ or - girls that have worked all summer in a routine without a flier ;( I just can't bring myself to think that is OK ! It has happened to my CP .. I felt so sorry for those girls . Once again that's why I ever responded to this thread in the first place ... Not enough info to " bash " ANYONE ! Just an opinion of a parent . I truly see both sides .


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[sports_girl]

Sometimes it can take some time to truly understand the damage that is being done to your child. When you see other children handling the criticism well, you might just think your child is making a bigger deal out of the situation than it really is. It took me quite awhile to really come to terms with the fact that the gym my daughter had been attending for a few years was not healthy for her. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to leave the gym. Even though she had tears before practice, she was so scared that she would regret leaving. I ended up making the decision for her to leave which she later on thanked me for. I wish we could have stayed at our old gym, but it was not worth it. Granted, I removed my daughter at the end of July. I am not sure how we would have handled it if it had been a week before the competition. That is a tough decision.

I know been there done that .. Read my post from last week . I am just saying don't bash a gym by name or coach because we don't know the whole story. We left a gym at the end of a season as well because of a coach ! I did not let my daughter quit . She loved the gym and most if the coaches so I "get it " ! It's VERY hard ! I just can't agree in quitting a week before a comp .. I am sorry I just can't ! It's ok to agree to disagree correct


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[BlockHead]

I know been there done that .. Read my post from last week . I am just saying don't bash a gym by name or coach because we don't know the whole story. We left a gym at the end of a season as well because of a coach ! I did not let my daughter quit . She loved the gym and most if the coaches so I "get it " ! It's VERY hard ! I just can't agree in quitting a week before a comp .. I am sorry I just can't ! It's ok to agree to disagree correct


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It is completely OK to agree to disagree.

Like I said at the end of my post, I don't know what I would do if it was the week before the competition. That would be a tough decision for me. Very tough!

 

[Dixie]

I want their family to know how sorry I am that this occurred. It's a difficult thing for us to process as adults, I cannot imagine how your child is feeling right now losing her self-esteem, friends and cheer life.
While I don't know that I would put a gym name to this topic because I feel it happens everywhere and not just in cheer gyms, I appreciate him sharing that it did happen. I don't need all the details. I trust that to this family, they feel violated by the actions and words of a coach/owner/parent/athlete or whomever chose to treat another person this way much less a child. I feel he is disappointed in the outcomes timing and wishes it didn't come to this. I feel his frustration in putting his child in this environment and feeling like he failed her by not protecting her to his standards. Well, I feel pulling her even just before a competition is protecting her and might be the eye opener another family needs to see clearly IF it is occurring to others.I don't need all the details. I'm just going to keep my eyes/ears/heart more aware to what my child is feeling and pray for this family, this child and this team to heal and move forward.

 

[ufomom]

@sports_girl It's against Fierceboard policy to discuss a specific minor and in very poor taste on your part.

 

[cheermommaRN]

@sports_girl that team took first this weekend at NCA Classic so it appears the "damage" wasn't as extensive as you would like to think. You seem to like calling his cp out and as someone who knows her probably better than you, and the the situation maybe you should take every seat in the arena right now because your not gaining any supporters.
Its obvious you are from Spirit, along with a couple other posters. If you are okay with that kind of coaching...have fun. Personally my child's mental health is way more important than a competition. Period. And if you think a kid should remain in a situation like that for the sake of 30 other kids then maybe YOUR parenting is in question.
For all the long term Fierceboarders that was my once a year stfu post.

 

[sports_girl]

@sports_girl It's against Fierceboard policy to discuss a specific minor and in very poor taste on your part.

I am unsure of how I called her out . I simply stated as parent I would not have allowed this .


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[sports_girl]

@sports_girl that team took first this weekend at NCA Classic so it appears the "damage" wasn't as extensive as you would like to think. You seem to like calling his cp out and as someone who knows her probably better than you, and the the situation maybe you should take every seat in the arena right now because your not gaining any supporters.
Its obvious you are from Spirit, along with a couple other posters. If you are okay with that kind of coaching...have fun. Personally my child's mental health is way more important than a competition. Period. And if you think a kid should remain in a situation like that for the sake of 30 other kids then maybe YOUR parenting is in question.
For all the long term Fierceboarders that was my once a year stfu post.

Not real sure of your point so I guess I'll take my own advice that the best response to a fool is no response .



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