All-Star Hairgate 2015 - Mom Upset Daughter Is Off The Team Because She Wont Straighten Hair For Competitions

[Pebbles49]

Again, I must chime in with the possibility that this Mom is bucking a system that is wrong to her... I definitely agree that hair should not be use to determine a person's worth on a team... I was not physically a part of the conversation that occurred between this Mom and the Gym, to immediately conclude that this Mom is being a SM or refusing to go along to get along is WRONG! What we are reading is the situation, but there are other factors that may have played a part in the lack of compromising on each parties behalf... If as a Mom, I already heard my daughter's hairstyle/texture was the reason why the team is being negatively judged or her daughter's hair is not right for her team...Maybe, perhaps, the compromise suggested was not acceptable and the breakdown of talking and the eventual departure of this athlete was imminent...

Perhaps, this Mom has heard this hair BS often in her daughter's 7+years of cheering and could be the reason why her daughter's hair is damage, which many had noted, perhaps, this Mom have been all those years, getting along to get along with the group, and decided to be the ROSA PARKS of this Hairgate issue, perhaps, it is time for someone to refuse and to take a stand and tbh, I agree with her stand! Why hair should make such an impact on the cheer world, lets celebrate the diversity and unity of our cheerleaders working together to put together a great routine instead of focusing on the best poufs and ponytails...js

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

Again, I must chime in with the possibility that this Mom is bucking a system that is wrong to her... I definitely agree that hair should not be use to determine a person's worth on a team... I was not physically a part of the conversation that occurred between this Mom and the Gym, to immediately conclude that this Mom is being a SM or refusing to go along to get along is WRONG! What we are reading is the situation, but there are other factors that may have played a part in the lack of compromising on each parties behalf... If as a Mom, I already heard my daughter's hairstyle/texture was the reason why the team is being negatively judged or her daughter's hair is not right for her team...Maybe, perhaps, the compromise suggested was not acceptable and the breakdown of talking and the eventual departure of this athlete was imminent...

Perhaps, this Mom has heard this hair BS often in her daughter's 7+years of cheering and could be the reason why her daughter's hair is damage, which many had noted, perhaps, this Mom have been all those years, getting along to get along with the group, and decided to be the ROSA PARKS of this Hairgate issue, perhaps, it is time for someone to refuse and to take a stand and tbh, I agree with her stand! Why hair should make such an impact on the cheer world, lets celebrate the diversity and unity of our cheerleaders working together to put together a great routine instead of focusing on the best poufs and ponytails...js

I would normally agree with you but this sport isn't about diversity - it's about uniformity - and that's what we are judged on. And the mom knew that. If she was unhappy with what her gym wanted to do, there are plenty other gyms in TX to go be apart of.

WE is a private organization in which their members pay to be apart of. While I'm sure they aim to please their customers, what WE says goes. WE sets rules and you know, at the beginning of the season, what you are paying into and what is expected of you. If you don't like it, don't be there.

Again, the hair was probably not the cause of her and her daughter's dismissal. And I really don't see it as an issue. My hair would get beyond damaged if my gym required us to tease it when I was cheering. I would've bought a hairpiece. Simple solution. This lady was clearly being difficult for the sake of being difficult. ETA: and she went to the media who twisted it into some spectacular story because we're all tired of hearing what sexist/racist thing Trump has said this time. News is not "news" anymore. It's all personal interest stories broadcasted to create emotional reactions. That's literally all news is now. 90% of the news is not news. This lady has successfully gotten her complaint heard by the nation and now the news is portraying cheer in ANOTHER negative light. Surprise, surprise.

WE has had quite a harrowing past few months with the media, huh? Sheesh.

 

[Cheermom1969]

don't worry! I have a meme!!!

Thank Jesus.

 

[quitthedrama]

Again, I must chime in with the possibility that this Mom is bucking a system that is wrong to her... I definitely agree that hair should not be use to determine a person's worth on a team... I was not physically a part of the conversation that occurred between this Mom and the Gym, to immediately conclude that this Mom is being a SM or refusing to go along to get along is WRONG! What we are reading is the situation, but there are other factors that may have played a part in the lack of compromising on each parties behalf... If as a Mom, I already heard my daughter's hairstyle/texture was the reason why the team is being negatively judged or her daughter's hair is not right for her team...Maybe, perhaps, the compromise suggested was not acceptable and the breakdown of talking and the eventual departure of this athlete was imminent...

Perhaps, this Mom has heard this hair BS often in her daughter's 7+years of cheering and could be the reason why her daughter's hair is damage, which many had noted, perhaps, this Mom have been all those years, getting along to get along with the group, and decided to be the ROSA PARKS of this Hairgate issue, perhaps, it is time for someone to refuse and to take a stand and tbh, I agree with her stand! Why hair should make such an impact on the cheer world, lets celebrate the diversity and unity of our cheerleaders working together to put together a great routine instead of focusing on the best poufs and ponytails...js

This has absolutely zero to do with a sociological cause. Rosa Parks stood up for a GROUP that was being wronged and excluded from a right that other members of society had. This mother is excluding her own child from the rest of the team and making this all about her child and it has zero benefit to anyone else on the team, gym, town, state or country.

 

[ErinS]

This has absolutely zero to do with a sociological cause. Rosa Parks stood up for a GROUP that was being wronged and excluded from a right that other members of society had. This mother is excluding her own child from the rest of the team and making this all about her child and it has zero benefit to anyone else on the team, gym, town, state or country.

Right and if the child has been cheering as long as she claims, then clearly this isn't her first rodeo. She knows that there are a wealth of ways to comply to the hairstyle and not damage hair. Weave is wonderful and if you're damaging your own hair for a competition or for any reason, then it's by your own choice.

I'm tired of people being the opposition just for the sake of being the opposition. She's taking a stand against nothing. She fighting a battle against nothing. Grab a brush and some Kylie Jenner tracks, or some remy, Brazilian, Malaysian whatever and get the h---l on lady.


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[yooolizzi]

~high school judge coming through~

unless your hair is on the mat from busting, I'm not looking at it.

~thanks for listening~

 

[lifeoftheparty]

I agree with others that there is more to this story thank just hair. My hair is VERY similar to that child's hair. It is a HUGE PIA to get it straight but its definitely possible. I would have no problem doing it for 6 competitions. CP has coarse hair, not as curly as mine. We straighten it for competitions and other times as well. Does the mom have a problem with the excessive makeup? That doesn't support her "natural" beauty either.

 

[Pebbles49]

Okay, now we arguing about uniformity on a team of athletes with obvious differences. In this sport, we are asking a group to conform to us or quit... How is this right? If we are going for uniformity, why we are never asking the athlete's to wear afros or afro puffs to fit status quo or quit... Of course, the status quo is being dictated by a few and if one complains about this, they are ask why you doing this sport or with this sport organization? Perhaps, they love cheer and this sports organization is the closest gym to their home...

By the way, in my opinion this is a sociological issue and btw, Rosa Parks was not the first to get dragged off a bus and arrested, there were at least 6 others before her to be arrested and it took more than 365 days before TPTB saw that bus segregation was wrong...So I believe, Cheerleading is broken when the notion that everyone must have the same hairstyle for a team to be judged favorably, is crazy! What is so hard about this request... knowingly asking, almost 100% of a certain sector of a certain population to fit a mode that knowingly damage, change the structure of the hair or kill our dwindling budget by buying wigs and weaves to look like everyone else. So my daughter is being told she must fix herself, before she can participate on the stage or wear that gym's name on her chest...
Instead of focusing on this issue-
Yes, let's figure out ways to make this sport financially feasible for everyone to participate, regardless of income level and drop this hair issue....

 

[Keep_Believing]

My last comment, asking parents to have respectful and calm conversations.

 

[cheermommaRN]

Okay, now we arguing about uniformity on a team of athletes with obvious differences. In this sport, we are asking a group to conform to us or quit... How is this right? If we are going for uniformity, why we are never asking the athlete's to wear afros or afro puffs to fit status quo or quit... Of course, the status quo is being dictated by a few and if one complains about this, they are ask why you doing this sport or with this sport organization? Perhaps, they love cheer and this sports organization is the closest gym to their home...

By the way, in my opinion this is a sociological issue and btw, Rosa Parks was not the first to get dragged off a bus and arrested, there were at least 6 others before her to be arrested and it took more than 365 days before TPTB saw that bus segregation was wrong...So I believe, Cheerleading is broken when the notion that everyone must have the same hairstyle for a team to be judged favorably, is crazy! What is so hard about this request... knowingly asking, almost 100% of a certain sector of a certain population to fit a mode that knowingly damage, change the structure of the hair or kill our dwindling budget by buying wigs and weaves to look like everyone else. So my daughter is being told she must fix herself, before she can participate on the stage or wear that gym's name on her chest...
Instead of focusing on this issue-
Yes, let's figure out ways to make this sport financially feasible for everyone to participate, regardless of income level and drop this hair issue....

But that's how this sport works. The whole point of the motions and jump section is uniformity. The fact is she claims her daughter has been cheering since she was 4 years old and she's at WE...not Craptastic All Stars she she cant claim ignorance to what this sport entails hair/makeup wise. If she jumped on this soapbox her first year...MAYBE it would be a sociological issue. My child had to either curl or straighten her hair every...single...season. No one is telling her she has to "fix" herself, they are telling her she has to wear the requested uniform/hair the rest of the team is wearing. In fact, there are plenty of examples out there of athletes that have been given free reign to wear their hair natural (Claw 6 last season), Swain and her blue streak, the girls that feel the need to jack their hair to Jesus while the rest of the team barely teased.
The fact you compared her to Rosa Parks literally made me spit soda across the room so thanks for that.

 

[GreatWhite92]

But that's how this sport works. The whole point of the motions and jump section is uniformity. The fact is she claims her daughter has been cheering since she was 4 years old and she's at WE...not Craptastic All Stars she she cant claim ignorance to what this sport entails hair/makeup wise. If she jumped on this soapbox her first year...MAYBE it would be a sociological issue. My child had to either curl or straighten her hair every...single...season. No one is telling her she has to "fix" herself, they are telling her she has to wear the requested uniform/hair the rest of the team is wearing. In fact, there are plenty of examples out there of athletes that have been given free reign to wear their hair natural (Claw 6 last season), Swain and her blue streak, the girls that feel the need to jack their hair to Jesus while the rest of the team barely teased.
The fact you compared her to Rosa Parks literally made me spit soda across the room so thanks for that.

Don't forget some of the crazy hair colors on smoed last year. I loved "big red" (sorry don't keep up with names) hair but I won't pretend it didn't distract me and make me focus on her instead of the team. Good thing she was fierce!


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[cheer25mom]

This exactly. She has known this forever. I don't like having to tease or curl my CP's stick straight, super fine hair. It damages it every time,nut we have been in this sport 4 years. We KNOW hair has to be uniform, and it doesn't really matter WHOSE hair has to be changed yo accomplish that. My kid's hair doesn't curl, period. I don't know what I would have to do to archive the barrel curls of days past, but I know going in that I am going to have yo achieve whatever style the gym asks for.


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[Pebbles49]

@cheermommaRN, Well comparing Motion and Jumps to Hair is like comparing Apples to Oranges... The different with the former, athletes can be taught to perfect their Motions and Jumps, but if they are not uniform, the ones who motions and/or jumps are not high enough are hidden in the back...These athletes are not told to jump high or quit... I wonder if Spirit of Texas, who are well known for motions and jumps- kick athletes out the gym because their jumps are not high enough or hyper extended,hmm?
However, I will be told to quit or else, if I wanted to maintain my dreadlocks and cheer or spend money to cover it up... Conform or else... Even with tanning, many pale athletes, who elect to not tan are not pressured to leave or quit the gym... I don't understand why they cannot tan and get it right, each and every time... No oompha loopha, not too orangey, why is this not stressed...hmm!

 

[randomactsofcheer]

Okay, now we arguing about uniformity on a team of athletes with obvious differences. In this sport, we are asking a group to conform to us or quit... How is this right? If we are going for uniformity, why we are never asking the athlete's to wear afros or afro puffs to fit status quo or quit... Of course, the status quo is being dictated by a few and if one complains about this, they are ask why you doing this sport or with this sport organization? Perhaps, they love cheer and this sports organization is the closest gym to their home...

By the way, in my opinion this is a sociological issue and btw, Rosa Parks was not the first to get dragged off a bus and arrested, there were at least 6 others before her to be arrested and it took more than 365 days before TPTB saw that bus segregation was wrong...So I believe, Cheerleading is broken when the notion that everyone must have the same hairstyle for a team to be judged favorably, is crazy! What is so hard about this request... knowingly asking, almost 100% of a certain sector of a certain population to fit a mode that knowingly damage, change the structure of the hair or kill our dwindling budget by buying wigs and weaves to look like everyone else. So my daughter is being told she must fix herself, before she can participate on the stage or wear that gym's name on her chest...
Instead of focusing on this issue-
Yes, let's figure out ways to make this sport financially feasible for everyone to participate, regardless of income level and drop this hair issue....

I'd love to agree with you, but I just can't when a simple hairstyle is at the center of this issue. She isn't being asked to conform, she is being asked to compromise. Something that her mother was unwilling to do. And because her mother was unwilling to compromise, she is no longer on the team. Part of the mother's argument is that she does not want to compromise the child's unique appearance and talents. But the video shows her daughter in pictures wearing massive amounts of makeup. She looks like a completely different kid. Why wasn't she raising arms about that? I would understand if she was concerned with altering her daughter's appearance as a whole, but that doesn't seem to be the case. This is simply about hair.

When listening to stories like this, I often ask myself what these people are trying to accomplish. They certainly have to know they will not be welcomed back to the gym with open arms. They have also seriously lessened their chances of their daughter being welcomed into another gym in the area. They have not aided some group of people who are being systematically discriminated against. Standing up to WE about the hair and then taking their money to another gym when they were unwilling to accept the offered compromise would have made a far greater statement to their daughter and the management at WE than this tantrum they are choosing to throw in front of the media. So what ARE they hoping to get out of this? The answer is attention. They want attention. So everyone should just stop giving them what they want and they will go away.

 

[Pebbles49]

@randomactsofcheer, I guess I am feeling and agreeing with this mom and her cause because I wondered the same issue. Yet, I sat on the sideline and went along, to move my daughter up...So, I can imagine exactly what the compromise was- Shut up and do it our way or we will do a smear campaign to make you look like a SM to the world...

I actually experienced and heard this story from a Mom and a Daughter and actually thought this was their story when I initially opened the thread... When this Mom told me her story, it was so hurtful and the least SMish reaction... The Mom in my situation felt she could not compromise and I directed her to a gym that offered acceptance of her daughter...
Btw,
I have to applaud WC in that regards... I was totally surprise when the coaches told me they did not care how my daughter wore her hair, and believe it or not, I strive to make my daughter fit the look, but I made tweeks here and there too. I can understand uniformity when it comes to the uniform, motions, jumps, etc... But I draw the line on anything that damage the person's body, hair or psyche...

PS: Another reason why I regard hair as sociological issue- In the AA community hair and skin complexion played a big part in defining and judging each of us and I think, this hair business is no different from judging us based on skin complexion...It is just done in a subtle way...jmo